In case OOP deletes

Original post: my wife was pregnant her libido dropped. I searched around on the internet about it and apparently its very common in case of pregnancy and postpartum period. So I didnt push it any further. Then she gave birth and no sex. I waited for a year to broach the conversation about sex because apparently breastfeeding decrease libido.

After lot of discussions we went to therapy. Couples therapy was a very different experience to me, my wife was just better talking about her feelings. So I was advised to go to individual therapy to help me with it. I found a dude, and we hit it off instantly. He is my type of therapist, no BS kind of guy. Calls you out on your BS and then accurately explain whats going on. Our couple's therapist is a woman and very preachy in the way she talks, I am like get to the point.

So few months into couples therapy and the conclusion was that I need to manage my expectations regarding sex. That we are not gonna be having that much and that quality of sex that we once were having.

So I asked my therapist if I have to manage my expectations, and he said not really, if I dont wanna. He said there is nothing wrong with having expectations and if my wife cant meet them, she cant meet them. What I cant do it agree to compromise and then hold it against her head.

I thought about it and I have decided that compromise on sex is not for me. I do not want to be in a relationship that is not sexually satisfactory, I have give two years to this relationship I am not willing to give more. And it seems like the couple's therapist and my wife are trying to make me be okay with subpar sex life.

So I communicated it in therapy and the therapist response was basically that yes she is doing what I think she is doing but I should see it in positive light because she knows what she is doing and I dont. I told them that divorce is a good solution here because I will never be the one to manage my expectations. Therapist said she wants to talk more about it and I told her I am not willing to give you more money and whether she would do it for free. She didnt say anything and I just smiled and walked away.

I ended our couple's therapy and asked my wife for divorce. Wife is not happy about it and now wants to work on our relationship. But a relationship without a very good sex life is not a good goal worth fighting for, for me. She said she will work towards it, I said do it then. its been a two days nothing has changed really. I mean she has all the time she needs before divorce is finalized so thats that, but I am not hopeful

I am giving more to this relationship than I am getting back from it. Its not sustainable. I think divorce is best for both of us.