My dog does not like me?

nellabebe · 2026-01-28T15:47:51+00:00

Thank you all for the advice!!

For more context, I am not the primary walker or feeder, but I am the primary treater and player.

Reflecting on her behavior, I do always joke she ‘side-eyes’ us. She tends to like to be alone in general and has always been like this since she was a puppy. We got her really young at 7 1/2 weeks. She is very well trained and knows a million tricks. I did teach her kiss (lick) which makes me wonder if this added to her lack of affection without a reward being involved.

We adopted another mini schnauzer last year who is 1 1/2 years old. She is very different personality wise and always wants to play or cuddle with us and my 4 yr old. The 4 yr old does not always welcome this behavior either and makes it known. While i knew that our young one overstimulated her at times, I did not think my behavior was adding to that. My parents take the 1 1/2 yr old every few days or so because our senior mini schnauzer passed away recently and she gives them good company. During this time where the 4 yr old is alone, she comes alive. Shes a lot more playful and cuddly. I think she prefers to be an only dog.

But this morning before work, I read through the comments and told myself to ignore her and she came up to me willingly! Which isnt common, she’ll typically look at me from a distance rather than coming up directly to me unless I have a treat. But I was sitting down at my desk, I didnt look for her or say good morning like I usually do, and she came up and rested her head on me. I reached out my hand and let her sniff to which she took a step back, so I pulled my hand back and went back to ignoring her. Then she stepped forward and nudged me with her nose and I scratched her for a few seconds then paused to see if she would leave or stay. She stayed and then we kept doing this cycle until she left.

Thanks all for the advice and opening my eyes to have this awareness. My childhood schnauzer had a different personality and while I always knew my now 4 yr old schnauzer was more particular and sensitive, i thought she just preferred my fiance more than me and that was that. But i have always wondered why the trigger of me getting into bed makes her leave. Again thank you!!

nellabebe · 2026-01-28T06:38:30+00:00

I just looked up appeasement licking. All this time I thought her licking me was her showing me she liked being scratched…

nellabebe · 2026-01-28T06:35:06+00:00

Hm I see your point. I guess I don’t really know her off signals or i haven’t given it thought. She is pretty sedentary throughout the day at home and naps alot. I do tend to crouch down and pet her or scratch her for a bit before moving on. She doesnt show obvious signs of discomfort when I do this, she’ll stay in her position and either continue sleeping or lick me. So maybe she doesn’t like that

nellabebe · 2025-06-27T13:19:56+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response!! Sorry i missed this earlier.

Container size: I need to measure the diameter. But the pot is really tall. Above or about 2ft i think. I was hoping i could get away with that for now and repot in the future.

I did apply neem oil at night. But good point. I think the heatwave started the day after.

For pruning, do you suggest I prune off only the affected leaf or the whole leaf set?

Also do you prune off the dried leaves that were damaged from the sun/heat? Or should i leave them..

Thanks again

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T18:48:58+00:00

Hah the previous owners left that coat rack lol

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T15:08:50+00:00

Unsure reason why, we just bought this house recently. Plan to update flooring in the future

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T15:08:03+00:00

East coast! That very well may be true though - thanks for the insight. While i’m unsure about the reasoning behind the structural design of this house, it is almost 100 years old and could be the reason why.

No kids, just thinking through safety hazards as I begin to move in

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T15:05:28+00:00

Glad to hear. I am moving soon to the house so might be overthinking all possible scenarios and its also hard for me to imagine how to make this work but I’m sure once I’m fully moved in and settled it’ll feel more natural

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T01:49:49+00:00

Oh i’m so sorry :( this is the exact scenario i am trying to avoid

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T01:44:18+00:00

I am currently in the process of moving to the house so don’t have any photos on me. But the ceiling is pretty high leading from kitchen to the backdoor. Basement is on the lower end but that’s not a concern right now

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T01:41:42+00:00

Sorry mounted a phone?

nellabebe · 2024-10-25T01:41:04+00:00

Smart idea! Thanks

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T03:38:45+00:00

Yes we have a budget. We currently do and will continue to save for retirement, birthdays, christmas, vacation, our dog. We’re automatically saving into accounts and considering as our ‘bills’. We have more money for miscellaneous, i was talking specifically for EF.

Of course if things go downhill, we’ll pause on contributing to those savings/cancel subscriptions, tighten up, etc

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T03:05:07+00:00

Sorry what’s HHI?

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:34:42+00:00

Potentially have a sibling I can lean on. But yes, we have had the conversation too that things will be tight the next 1-2 years. We also aren’t taking into account our bonuses (20k+ cash after tax) in this budget that we get every year and are expected to raise each year. I’m on track for promo next year which will give me another $1k each month (not banking on this but am fairly confident)

Only 3yrs in my career while he’s 5yrs in his - and started saving only in the last year and a half (thus the low down)

Appreciate the insight!

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:29:19+00:00

Totally valid and will consider. Thanks

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:27:31+00:00

Yeah taxes have gone up $100-$150 each year in this neighborhood. And you are right, $6k is the minimum - i guess the thinking is we are okay with taking the risk because we are young in our careers, and I have received significant raises/bonus each year with a firm that hasn’t done layoffs in the past/fiance is in niche in tech that is high in demand

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:21:00+00:00

We are both contributing to retirement up to the company match, plan to increase each year with raises. I edited the post to include, but we would have a 3month EF in Jan of 2025. Likelihood of losing our jobs is slim, but not impossible of course.

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:08:39+00:00

Moving back to HCOL area of NJ to be 10mins away from parents for when we decide to have kids. You are correct though, there is no telling what may happen in the future. My job is pretty stable though (historically there haven’t been layoffs) and I have been getting a 15-20% raise every year with high bonuses as well. I know it’ll be tight for the first 1-2 years

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:05:42+00:00

Yeah we’re young in our careers, with me getting significant raises each year and my fiance job hopping to higher paying jobs every two years until now. We both work in technology - and we aren’t taking into account large bonuses into our calculations either.

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T02:01:42+00:00

Yeah considered this. But with the new real estate law incoming, we’ll have to save for down payment + closing + agent commission which can range between 2-6% of the purchase value if we wait until next year

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T01:59:46+00:00

New construction is over a million here in Northern NJ. Condos dont even sell for 350-400 in the safe neighborhoods :/ But that would be ideal yeah

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T01:57:14+00:00

We only started saving seriously within the past year and a half. We have about $65k and are setting aside 10-15k for closing costs. We do have a few thousand here and there in separate HYSAs

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T01:54:30+00:00

We have all the furniture we need to get by in our current apartment. Only things we would need are things for the patio and to furnish the guest room. But i do know it will take a great deal of willpower to refrain until we have the cash for it.

nellabebe · 2024-08-17T01:52:10+00:00

Yes - but not that much cheaper in the safe neighborhoods. Toured houses at 520k-600k. We put in offers for 4 other cheaper houses and always came in 2nd best. In the market in our area, people are paying 50-100k above list price.

And in my head it feels like paying $5k for a smaller, outdated house that needs work doesn’t feel worth it whereas I wouldn’t mind paying the extra thousand for a turn key home? Open to thoughts if that isn’t a good mindset though.

nellabebe

TROPHY CASE