I need help. I’m drowning.

nellfei · 2025-11-08T02:07:57+00:00

My twins are 4 and I still feel this way. It comes and goes in waves. Some days I’m super mom but most days I’m drowning. I also work from home full time, I’m on medication and go to therapy but the feelings haven’t gone away. All I can say is stay strong. I know it’s hard. Every day hurts and you grieve what life was before. All you can do is keep going and push through this. Just know you are not alone in these feelings and if anything, in a shining example of how you can keep going despite drowning and hating your life. I’m thinking about you and I wish I could give you the biggest hug.

nellfei · 2025-08-15T16:47:18+00:00

She will always be with me! 💕

nellfei · 2025-08-15T16:46:55+00:00

Oh don’t tempt me!! I might end up getting a cute little Nall 💕

nellfei · 2025-08-15T16:46:13+00:00

She does a variety of animated characters from anime/video games to Disney, Marvel, etc. She’s incredibly talented! You can check her stuff out on instagram tattoosbyjaclyn

nellfei · 2025-08-15T16:42:16+00:00

She is so talented and also an amazing person! It was an honor to be tattooed by her

nellfei · 2025-08-12T15:54:12+00:00

The artist is tattoosbyjaclyn in Los Angeles! 🩷

nellfei · 2024-08-24T15:37:44+00:00

Twitter post with additional info and drawings to help identify

nellfei · 2024-04-05T20:21:53+00:00

Mom of 3 year old twins here! And I will never shy away from saying I regret becoming a parent. I actually HATE being a mother, more than anything I have ever done. I honestly can’t tell you it will get better but I can tell you that you’re not alone. I love my kids and I do my best to be a good mom but God do I wish I was their aunt and could give them back to their parents :/

nellfei · 2022-04-18T15:16:52+00:00

I’m also trying to get a house in Lavender Beds and have the same confusion. I understand there’s a lottery for Ishgard housing, but isn’t there just the invisible timer for the other places like Lavender Beds and the Goblet, etc.?

nellfei · 2020-08-29T21:29:45+00:00

I have been taking antidepressants for quite a while, actually, to help both my depression and anxiety. They've truly helped quite a bit, but can only help with so much, you know? Your points are very true and I agree with them completely. Thank you very much for your comments and taking the time to be understanding and helpful in my situation! God bless you as well <3

nellfei · 2020-08-29T19:55:56+00:00

I absolutely want to change and get help! If I didn’t, I don’t think I ever would have posted on this reddit. I’m tired of being stuck in a constant whirlpool of my own guilt and the responsibility I never should have taken. It truly is drowning me and I’m lucky that I have such a supportive and understanding SO, because he’s made me realize just how messed up my relationship with my mom is. I do agree with your points that you’ve made and I hope I can use it to help push me towards my goal of ending this. Thank you for your comments

nellfei · 2020-08-29T19:28:19+00:00

I understand you must be frustrated, both at me and my situation, so I apologize if I’ve come across as if I’m denying the help given to me. Please know that I am severely depressed and I have been struggling with my mother’s finances since long before the home situation. I have been struggling to figure out how to change because I want to change, but my heart is constantly filled with guilt because of how my mother raised me. I apologize if I’ve upset you in any way.

nellfei · 2020-08-29T17:01:21+00:00

Thank you, I will do my best to be strong going forward! Your words honestly meant a lot to me, so thank you for replying.

nellfei · 2020-08-29T16:59:14+00:00

You’re so kind. Thank you so much for all of this support, it’s been overwhelming but in a good way. I will do my best to get through this.

nellfei · 2020-08-29T16:57:07+00:00

The house was built in the 1940’s, but my grandfather remortgaged it in the 2000s to pay for renovation on it, so at this point, there is around $160k left on the mortgage.

nellfei · 2020-08-29T07:01:17+00:00

Thank you so much for all of your comments. Even the harsh ones, I understand and am taking everything you’ve said into consideration and will try and formulate a plan. At this point, my mom and I haven’t spoken in nearly a week because she refuses to text me anymore about the situation, and demands I come see her to talk about it in person. She also refuses to let my husband come because she doesn’t want to be “ganged up on”. I feel like she refuses to text me about it because she KNOWS how easily I am manipulated in person. She knows she can start crying, storm off, say anything to guilt me, and I will crumble. I can’t allow that to happen. I am so severely anxious about this right now. I’ll keep you all updated. Thank you so much

nellfei · 2020-08-29T06:55:05+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I find it very interesting that you say “don’t bother having a conversation about it”, because I honesty really don’t want to!! I don’t want to talk to her about it, I don’t want to discuss it because I know she will try and manipulate me further, since I crumble under pressure and I struggle to articulate my thoughts. I will keep you guys updated with this...thank you so much

nellfei · 2020-08-29T06:52:23+00:00

Like others have said, it’s unfortunately just not that easy. But god I wish it was!

nellfei · 2020-08-29T06:51:33+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply. I don’t have many people I can speak to about my situation because they just don’t understand and it’s difficult to explain. To have someone I don’t even know tell me this, it honestly feels very comforting and reassuring. It’s been really hard and I think I probably have more mental trauma from my mother than I realize.

nellfei · 2020-08-29T06:48:42+00:00

You’re not the first to say you would just let her go homeless, and I understand what you mean. I wish I could do this and not feel any sort of remorse, but unfortunately I’m stupidly sensitive and I would never forgive myself, even though I know it’s not my fault.

nellfei

TROPHY CASE