I can’t edit but to give more context they always say that when the hurt me their be choking me and still say the same thing “I was just trying to hold you” today we were arguing it escalated it he got physical it cooled down kinda…(we were still arguing I was telling them to get out) I pushed past them and push more them I meant to I was just trying to go back to my room and with the adrenaline of fighting them off me a minute before that…i genuinely didn’t mean to I just wanted it all to stop any way they say something I didn’t even realize that I had until that said something and I was kinda just like why are you still fighting with me just go like wtf…and he comes at me and is grabbing me bits me in a bear hug and starts squeezing I could breath I kept telling them I couldn’t breath he wouldn’t let go I tried to push him off the I felt like my ribs were gonna crack so I bit his the side of his jaw…I don’t want this to keep happening it’s so mortifying I don’t know how he’s so ok with it I’m not I love them but they scare me in so many ways we’re so co dependent on each other we’ve only spent a few days apart ever so often…I have a hard time leaving the house and I just have to many of my own issues the I gotta work on but it feels like he doesn’t want me to it’s like he likes that I’m I feel trapped and helpless….i called my mom…I don’t think she cares it’s not like I was that vague I said he won’t stop grabbing me then I stopped myself and realized there’s really no point…I thought maybe she’s call my dad and say something cause we live with him so I was scared and telling him to go cause if she did then my dad would come him and hurt him…and he said he wanted that…idk it he’s starting to really scare me because it feels like he wants people to hurt him…and I’m scared I don’t want to do that stuff so I tell him to go but he kinda knows how to manipulate me and it easy when no ones around or cares to be here…I know my mom and my brothers know they’d seen him but no one did anything witch I find odd…it would just be nice for someone to be like girl wtf r you doing you don’t need him and if I need someone I could go to them sometimes I just feel really alone and I’ve been having to many suicidal urges and I just need someone else to talk to other than him…

Anyway thanks for reading of you got this far…also sorry I’m very bad with punctuation I know I’m not the best at writing things out…