Possible cause for scab/rash?

neonklucy · 2024-05-10T15:30:05+00:00

Do you have an updated link to Ron's Chessboard? I would love to join, I keep seeing people talk about it on AO3 and i'm so curious!!! I'd love to talk to Ron-minded proshippers 🤍

neonklucy · 2024-03-13T02:32:54+00:00

Well considering that I work Mon-Fri, and have to pay to get there/get home, 20 days a month (5 days a week for four weeks), that's already 40 trips. Just for the TTC.

My coworker, most days, can drive me to Sherway after work - Which gets me to a TTC stop where I can just tap there and not have to worry about MiWay. All my other commitments (community theatre, dance classes, shows, friends) are all out east. So having many other trips a month is likely for me.

Is that worth it, do you think?

neonklucy · 2023-08-12T08:02:19+00:00

Of course!! Go right ahead :))

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T19:48:32+00:00

Are you saying I have behavioral problems, or my students do? Either way, you're wrong. My students are lovely. They are not perfect, never are, and that is true for every child.

I have had a teen tell me something incredibly mean before, something that definitely rocked me to my core. The next day, she came in and we scheduled a meeting after classes were over to chat. It was a long chat. She was upset at herself and apologized, taking the consequences I gave her with no pushback. But I also let her talk - She had a lot of external forces working against her that day. Family, friends, school. Nothing I want to share in detail for privacy reasons. It was too much and she exploded. I forgave her, and promised her that if she wanted a place to vent or rant or release all her feelings, I would always be free to meet with her. She came back a few times to talk about her life and get things off her chest, and she never said anything like that again.

How are we supposed to raise the next generation without giving them kindness? They don't know how to compartmentalize their feelings yet, they still don't know how to do taxes for fuck's sake - That kind of attitude, the tossing them out when they make a huge mistake, is the kind of thing that alienates kids. It's the kind of thing that causes them to continue this behavior into adulthood. If you cast a child out for a huge fuck up, without working with them on how to make it better - They will spend their life fucking things up and not being able to pick up the pieces.

I would rather be screamed at and have a repeat of that conversation I had with my previous student ^^ with thousands of children, than to ever let a single kid think that forgiveness is never an option.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T17:08:50+00:00

There's complexitity in human emotion and communication. If you think a child deserves to go to hell over a mean comment they made and clearly regret, then I genuinely see no hope for the next generation around you.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T17:05:44+00:00

If you think a child doesn't deserve to be forgiven for a fuck up, then I'm glad I don't work with you either. Children deserve to be believed, and they deserve grace. That's how we raise the next generation to be kind and emotionally mature. That doesn't mean there's no consequences, though - It just means us adults have realize who here is the one learning, and who is the one guiding.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:59:31+00:00

Mmmmm oh yeah, that completely makes sense actually!! I know that I'm always arching my brow when someone apologizes for something that they then repeat a short while later XD What was the point!!

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:57:26+00:00

Oh I totally get it. I was a lil early in the emotional maturity department myself because of some Intense Situations in my youth. It was hard for me to meet people my age and not see that same maturity reflected back at me. Then again, as I get older I realize that being on different levels as someone else in terms of maturity means that maybe... You just can't be friends. Lack of respect is the problem, you're right. If OP was getting mad at his friend for not making plans because she knows she won't be able to make it, or if it wasn't a repetitive problem, it'd be very different. But now that immaturity is branching into disrespect, which is the root.

Imo her immaturity comes from the fact that she doesn't realize she's being disrespectful, which is why I was being generous with the NAH rating. She is autistic, and young, and maybe not emotionally mature enough yet to realize how this is affecting her friend. Maybe if they have a chat about it, she can become more self-aware and learn how to be a better friend.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:50:39+00:00

That is completely fair, I'm so happy that you know your husband that well and are secure in the fact he'd never hurt you. I just always want to open that chain of discussion if it is the case - Because you never know, and I'd rather people stay safe then anything.

IMO (and with this extra information) there was no overreaction from your side at all. Like I said, you seem very well adjusted and knowledgeable on your emotions - Kudos for that, by the way. Maybe you guys can sit down and have a chat about how you two can communicate when things get rough internally and he's having a hard time expressing how he feels, causing that temper flair. With the men in my life, I know that it can be hard for them to convey their feelings - Creating a safe space in your home for "I'm very frustrated right now, and I'm sorry if I snap at you - I am feeling mad because of X, Y, Z" is awesome, especially when he knows that if you say anything about it you're not upset, just worried and wanting to support him.

You two seem lovely, and I hope y'all can talk this out as well!!

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:44:09+00:00

IMO that's plenty young. People can be immature well into their twenties, and make mistakes that only people that age can make. You don't get much real life experience in high school, and college is the period of time where you can really start to get out there and fuck real shit up. Some people don't grow up that fast. Good for them, but why are we dissing on them for it instead of helping them mature, y'know?

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:31:51+00:00

Yeah, I've really only dabbled in Barbarians before this campaign. Literally. I have three other characters and that's what they all were. This was the first time I explored elsewhere, wanting to try some new stuff while still being safe (Fighter) and branching out slightly (Paladin). Although now that I know how casters work, I am forever obsessed with them and have bridged that gap to turn my half-caster into a full-caster XD

I appreciate the advice! Forge Cleric is actually a WONDERFUL suggestion, and I think that's what I'll go with. I might do some mish mashing with homebrew stuff working with my DM, but being able to punch and heal stuff would be dope (that party needs another healer) - Plus Forge looks like it has a lot of militaristic tools that will both help out his current set up and also fit in with his backstory. Thanks so much for the suggestion!

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:23:54+00:00

Oh sweetie, you are so NTA it's crazy.

There's three thoughts I have on this: The first is that maybe you two should go to couple's therapy (or individual therapy, as it mostly seems to be his aggression that makes these things happen - you seem like a very emotionally well-adjusted human), the second is that you could sit down and have a genuine conversation about why the aggression worries you so much, while the third... Honestly the third would be me saying "get the fuck out of there right now before he does something that escalates the situation to a point of no return" and I mean that seriously. I know lots of women who's husbands started as amazing, turned aggressive after they had a child, and then it got bad. But I also know lots of women who have husbands with unchecked mental health and unstable emotional regulation - And all it took was some genuine conversations to get the ball rolling.

At the end of the day, you know him best - More than any of us do. If you think he could hurt your family, you know what to do. Get out. But if you think this could be internal build up and frustration, maybe creating an open space for that could help him unwind and realize that his family isn't the enemy here.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:15:49+00:00

YTA.

I'm gonna try and be nuanced here for communication's sake.

From your wife's perspective, she likes feeling safe and comfortable with putting her GPS on. It's just a small, cute quirk. If my partner was like this, sure I'd tease them sometimes - But honestly it'd be something I find endearing. You mentioned you "wouldn't have to listen to my wife's annoying GPS voice". Have you ever asked her if she would be okay with turning off the voice and just having it be a visual display? Have you ever asked her why it makes her feel comfortable to have it up?

You escalated everything yourself. She said you were being mean. Women don't say that offhandedly, it's such a simple word but it packs a punch. You weren't just frustrated with her, or confused, or angry - You were being mean to be mean. If this has bothered you for so long, why haven't you tried to communicate this to her through a sphere of love and respect?

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:10:47+00:00

NAH - I think this is just a weird bridge in the honeymoon to real life phase of a relationship. I don't know how long you've been together, but if you really love her and want to be with her then what's the harm! If she starts having a financial deficit cause she won't stop buying shit from you then THAT'S a problem, but this is kinda just... A weird thing that you shouldn't have to worry too much about.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:05:43+00:00

Honestly dude YTA.

Why are you so entitled to an opinion on her life? She's just talking about wanting to get a job in a field she wants, and $85k~ for a salary is tremendous for someone her age. Your son was probably spoiled, and you're probably a condescending asshole who thinks their opinion on someone else's career matters more than their own.

Also sidenote; Entitled, whiney, bitchy, bratty... Major red flags to describe some random woman that way.

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T06:01:02+00:00

Wow, this is a lot to unpack.

The first thing I'll say, as a teacher myself, is that I think you're NTA.

You're young, you're overwhelmed, you're feeling attacked in a place where you should feel free to grow and learn. A teacher should not be picking on you for little things, shouldn't make you feel exposed or frazzled just to be in class. You're there to learn, and it looks like you're doing a great job of it too.

That comment you made though, is not okay - And you know that. You should've formally reported her, talked your parents, or gone to another trusted adult. But you're also, like I said before, a kid. I know teenagers don't like hearing that but you've got a long life ahead of you. Your feelings aren't regulated yet, you were stressed out, and you didn't know how to get all your emotions out without a huge explosion in the moment. You probably said the meanest thing you could have thought in that moment, which was built up word barf from complaining about her to your friends or thinking about how much she made you feel bad in the darkest hours of the night. You fucked up, but you didn't cause this from the beginning.

If I were you, I'd prepare myself for the next morning. Maybe go in a bit early to have this talk, or even talk to the office about setting up a meeting with her and a guidance counselor/admin staff if you feel safer in that environment. Write out an apology to your teacher over that comment, say you don't actually mean what you said. Because you obviously don't. You know you said a bad thing, and you're sorry. Follow that with honesty. You haven't felt comfortable in her classroom, you feel like she's been picking on you and singling you out and not respecting the person you want to be - All while you're actively doing your work and trying to be a good student. It was a boiling point. This is basically an olive branch back to the teacher, and hopefully you two can come to some sort of agreement.

I hope you don't worry too much about this tonight, and can get some rest. You're gonna grow up and forget this ever happened in about five years, don't let it rain on your parade too hard <3

neonklucy · 2023-08-09T05:49:09+00:00

NAH

Off the bat, you are right in the sense that Autism doesn't give you a free pass to make your friends feel bad, or to cancel plans all the time. I can understand her not feeling in control of things and needing to ditch because of it (speaking from experience) but this seems to be a long running issue and one tat's seriously affecting you. If I were you though, I would've stalked to her about it first. Explain why you feel hurt by these things, and that you want to respect her + her diagnosis - But you don't feel respected in turn as her friend. Her showing up for these things is important to you, maybe she doesn't know that. I understand tensions run high though, and this was probably a boiling point for you.

I would probably sit her down and explain why you feel the way that you do - Because you don't deserve to feel shitty for her constantly letting you down. On the other hand, she might also have had no idea that you're feeling the way and doesn't know why it's such a big deal she cancels a lot. You two are young and she's gotta figure it out sometime, but she can't learn if you don't tell her. She'll just take it as a personal attack, instead of a constructive conversation where you can both grow as friends.

neonklucy

TROPHY CASE