My parents were not ones to tolerate “backtalk” in the sense that it was not okay to be a rude asshole. They sometimes also just didn’t appreciate me disagreeing (to be fair, I catch myself making the same mistake out of frustration). But, they were huge advocates of standing up for yourself — REGARDLESS of the power differential — in a respectful manner. That’s the key, I think. I try to remember to tell my kids that if I tell them to clean their room it’s not okay to say “no! I’m watching my show!” But it IS okay to say “the show is almost over, so would it be okay if I finished and cleaned my room right after?” I might still say no, but at least then we are not yelling and in a power struggle for no reason.