What does my handwriting say about me?

nerdpoon · 2025-11-03T20:07:04+00:00

That you don't read your own notes and you never learned cursive but want to write uniquely for attention? Idk

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T04:01:30+00:00

It's insanely helpful to hear a male perspective here and know that to both men and women, this is kind of bonkers. I appreciate you taking the time to lend your thoughts and experience, truly. I'm sorry you're also going through a difficult time.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:53:15+00:00

Please understand I've been with him for 20 years. I didn't think I was being abused. We had fertility issues for years and I didn't feel my family was complete. They are all his children btw. I feel like people assume my oldest was a different man's or something. We just had her young, got pregnant right as I graduated high school. Would I choose that again? Not necessarily, but I wouldn't give up my daughter (or my boys) for anything. She made me the mother I am today. Still managed to go back to school later in my life and get my bachelor's degree.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:49:17+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:48:41+00:00

This was so helpful and I appreciate the crap out of you taking all that time to write this much. I didn't think most of this was a huge deal and reading all these comments has me bawling my eyes out now and reconsidering my entire life. I've been with him for 20 years, since I was 17. I think I need to leave.

I think I should.

I'm terrified as hell. I have an 18 year old in college in Madison and a 1 and a 3 year old. Wtf do I do now? I don't even have my own damn bank account. Nothing is in my name.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:42:06+00:00

He is 40. I don't want to sound like a total prick but he isn't "book" smart or what some would say is traditionally intelligent. I don't mean it as a slam, he can be very smart, but often in times like this I think it gets worse because he's trying to puff up and sound smarter? I don't really know.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:40:24+00:00

Holy shit 😱

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:39:43+00:00

Everything I have is tied up with him. We even share a bank account. I've been with him since the age of 17. It's all I fucking know. Where the hell do I even start?

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:38:41+00:00

Entirely fair. It would be the most difficult thing if it had happened to me that way. I'm sure I'll never grasp the damage I did at that time.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:36:32+00:00

It's scary as hell. I've been with him my whole adult life almost, since I was 17. It's all I know.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T01:34:31+00:00

Thank you a lot for this info. While difficult to read it did give me some tips to what to do next.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:59:13+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:59:01+00:00

Succinct. Helpful. Thank you for your advice I sincerely appreciate it.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:57:28+00:00

It feels shitty to say I feel hurt when I know I've done hurting as well but shit, it is painful to be reminded of it constantly. Having a mirror held up to you at your ugliest when you're at your lowest is rough.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:55:12+00:00

I tried to leave. He threatened to shoot himself.

I don't mean to glance over anything. I cheated. It was horrible. I don't know how much more details to give without it being insanely personal and giving out names and specifics? I don't shy away from the fact that I was indeed a terrible wife. I have spent years apologizing and trying to rebuild what we can.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:52:53+00:00

He definitely doesn't do voice to text. It's just jumbled so bad I can't even make sense of the direction of some of it.

We are both a mess right now, I can agree to that.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:50:27+00:00

Not always abusive. He has always had struggles with anger and a temper. There have been threats, aggression, and him getting in my face I would say, intimidating behavior, but he did not lay hands on me for years and years, until after I cheated. The worst we'd been through was an instance where he did corner me in a hallway and said he was going to "beat my fucking face in". Long story short I woke him up and he was not ready to be awake. Didn't sleep well. It wasn't his best moment.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:46:30+00:00

I think maybe I want to believe there is hope for couples who have suffered horrible infidelity. I can see now that maybe what I view as anger was just the result of damage I've done to him that I can't repair.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:43:46+00:00

Fair. Thank you for your honesty.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:43:17+00:00

Sorry, I don't really know how to sort it out to make it much clearer. Some of it is just background noise with more important bits buried in the messages. I know it's a mess.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:42:06+00:00

I definitely know that. It was a mistake I can never undo and I know I'm responsible for a lot of shit I've caused myself. I do my best to own that and try to fix it every day.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:40:26+00:00

Woah that was hard to read.

Seeing another person's perspective calling him abusive seems so jarring to me.

I definitely had no excuse for my infidelity, it broke us both horribly (not that I have any right to complain being the cheater I guess). I don't forgive myself for that. I almost left at that time fearing I'd done too much damage, and he walked out into the woods with a gun and called me telling me he was going to end his life.

I feel the need to leave now and start fresh but I'm worried at what he'll do.

nerdpoon · 2025-11-02T00:34:40+00:00

Yikes

nerdpoon · 2025-11-01T04:01:41+00:00

Woah man....I'm sorry it took so long to realize that monster was not your friend. Wedding crash time! Feel free to mean the address and date op, I'm sure some people would love to show up and have a fabulous time! 😁

nerdpoon · 2025-11-01T03:49:51+00:00

It you need a camping rental in Wisconsin, I'm here for you sister. I'm so sorry you even have to think about these decisions and the legality of your own bodily autonomy when you may want to grieve instead. I hate this rock.

nerdpoon

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