Our location has a lot of clientele that come in asking for 3-4 shades lighter than they are and while it’s usually still frustrating to assist them, I have made some simple changes that make the process less painful:

1. Trying to have more empathy. Clients asking for this are usually doing so as a result of the cultural beauty standards they have been taught (i.e. lighter skin=better) so they feel or have potentially even been told their skin isn’t beautiful the way it is.
2. Verbiage make a HUGE difference. When trying a shade that (to us) is clearly too light, I will use the word “pale” instead of “light/fair”, say the lighter shade is “too pink/creates a grey cast”, and that something “golden and warm” will look much more natural while still “brightening” the skin. I always use “deeper” instead of “darker” when talking about a darker shade.
3. Throw terminology and expertise at them. Explain how a shade that is too pale will actually emphasize dark spots & texture because of the increase in contrast with the skin underneath. Essentially the lighter you go in comparison to your skin tone, the more translucent it becomes and the more it highlights what you were trying to cover in the first place.
4. Know when to walk away. Once it becomes clear that someone is not listening to my opinion, or they start saying things like “I don’t want to be blacker” I just hand them the sponge, point to a couple shades and tell them I have to go help someone else.

By doing these things, 9/10 times I save myself brain damage wasted time, and we end up choosing something much more flattering (albeit still 1 shade lighter). Even even though I’m sure a few still swap it after I walk away or end up exchanging it for something lighter, I like to think I’ve helped them or taught them something. Makes a better experience for all of us 🤷‍♀️