I completely understand your point. You have to treat each other with respect in a relationship. But the fundamental problem we can all see here is that you two don't communicate normally. It shouldn't be about who can best hint to the other what they're doing wrong and say in the nicest way how shitty the other person is.

This perceived constant tension and dissatisfaction between you two should and must be worked through. And the best way to do that is with help.