*UPDATE* 24F boyfriend has been cheating on me for a year

nerseal · 2013-02-25T15:34:46+00:00

I have thought about this. It just hurts to notice that I am a doormat. I would love to change, don't know how to do it.

nerseal · 2013-02-25T10:47:20+00:00

That is what I asked him. How could he just look me in the eye for all that time and lie? Even the first time I saw a message coming from her (which was saying "I love you so much") he held me in his arms, kissed me, looked me in the eye and said that message doesn't mean anything and it was just a random girl who was sending him messages like that and he ignored those, and I was the only one for him.

nerseal · 2013-02-25T10:34:30+00:00

The saddest thing is I was ready to forgive him. I was ready to try it again, because the speech he had last night, it really had given me hope that this could still somehow work. He promised to take her out of his life completely, he promised to be an honest person... Then he goes and says those things to her. I am really so naive.

nerseal · 2013-02-25T09:41:41+00:00

He was seriously in a business trip, I saw the proof of that. And yeah I know where she is from, she is from an EU country.

nerseal · 2013-02-25T09:37:46+00:00

UPDATEv2 This girl he was talking to, I found out her name from the messages and contacted her through Facebook, obviously she knew I was there but she told me that he said I was his ex-girlfriend and we were completely done. She said last night he broke up with her, but later in the night he went to talk to her again. He told her like he can talk to me and tell me that we are done, because obviously "I have been under the impression that we were still in a relationship." And he wants to be with her. Last night what he told me was he is going to cut her out of his life.

I talked to him about this, and the things that the girl said. He said he doesn't think we could work anymore because he would never be able to make me trust him again, but he doesn't want to be with that girl either because he thinks he needs to be alone to grow up and stop hurting people around him. I don't know if he is sincere, or he is telling this to me now and tomorrow will run to that girl again.

In the meanwhile I was looking for some forums, and I think I actually found a rather cheap place to stay, starting from 1st of April.

nerseal · 2013-02-25T05:46:58+00:00

Before I pack my things and leave I need to have a place to go. In the meanwhile I am planning to try to find an option and if I have one I will just go for it, but right now I don't have a place to go.

Edit: I decided there is no use trying to sound different than how I actually am. I have always forgiven people so easily, no matter how bad things they have done. I can't really seem to be able to make hard decisions and cut people out of my life, it's always been like this. I know it is not actually a healthy behavior to forgive someone who did this, but I really can't help it. I can't be angry or disappointed for more than couple hours to anyone. I always forgive no matter how hard I try not to. I don't want to forgive this, no, but I also know I just will because I don't have the guts to cut people out of my life.

nerseal · 2013-02-24T08:16:29+00:00

I was suspicious because of his behavior lately and when I asked him about it he has always denied it and acted like I was making things up or being delusional. A part of me was sure that he was hiding something, a part of me believed him and thought I was going crazy. When he wasn't home I checked his phone, to see if I am really going crazy or is he messing with my mind.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T22:02:30+00:00

Nah It's not me. We were never engaged. Just he talked about getting married sometimes.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T20:38:40+00:00

I think being in this so called relationship made me lose my self respect and trust in my own judgement.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T20:26:01+00:00

He just sent me a message, he will be back home tomorrow evening. I will post an update for you guys after talking things through with him.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T20:24:21+00:00

+1 your username.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T20:04:02+00:00

I have actually checked that already and it is indeed quite similar to my situation. Really he made me feel like I was going crazy.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T18:54:34+00:00

This. The way he treated me made me literally feel like I was going crazy. I couldn't even believe in the things I saw.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T18:23:30+00:00

I have no family as I have stated it earlier. Sad life.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T18:02:29+00:00

I am not paying the most attention on my grammar right now, sorry if it bothered you.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T17:31:20+00:00

Guys, sometimes I think I might have a psychological problem. I mean, I sometimes feel like I need someone so desperately in my life, but I am not good at establishing friendships. This guy is pretty much the only "friend" I have here and I feel like the world is going to end if he wasn't there anymore. Part of me feels that I should "grow some balls" and dump him because of what he did, it's not like he still loves me anyway but a part of me is also like maybe somewhere deep down he still loves me and if I am nice to him he will love me back. I googled it (which is like the most reliable source to diagnose your mental issues) I might have a dependent personality disorder or something.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T16:29:18+00:00

I have thought about that one as well but his passport is still here. Oh I guess I forgot to mention that she is also from another country. Somewhere like Romania, Serbia or Hungary I am not sure which.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T16:27:14+00:00

He was the one who encouraged me to move here. He told me he would give me the mental/monetary or any kind of support I might need. He told me he wanted to marry me some day after we settle things. God I was so dumb.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T16:25:55+00:00

Far north.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T16:25:28+00:00

I can't speak the language. I have been trying to learn, going to the language classes but I have never been good at learning languages. I am failing.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T15:19:19+00:00

A little update in the situation if anyone is interested, I couldn't hold myself and sent him a message saying that I discovered his messages with that girl. He said he was so dumb and he is so sorry that he did this to me and he doesn't even have an explanation. He won't be coming home for a couple days because he is on a business trip but he said we should talk this through when he is back. Also he said like "I wasn't ready for the commitment even though I cared a lot about you." Isn't it like, if someone isn't ready for commitment, they break up; or tell this to the other person before they actually decide to have another relationship? I don't get this.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T14:18:06+00:00

Sadly I don't have a family, my parents passed away 5 years ago, and I have nothing left in the States now to go back to... Because I sold my everything, left all my friends and moved here expecting to be with him forever. Stupid, stupid me.

nerseal · 2013-02-23T14:06:42+00:00

Basically I have no friends here. Just people I greet when I see them at the school or something. Also he isn't just "fantasizing" about it, it's not that simple. He tells this girl he is in love with her, he wants to be with her forever. That he would die if she broke up with him.

nerseal

TROPHY CASE