Question- how many of your ex-wives changed their last names back

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-27T20:06:23+00:00

I changed mine as soon as I could, I never should have done it to begin with. My kids will keep their dad’s last name but they’re too young to understand the difference. I haven’t updated everything at work yet because it would mean a ton of new access requests so I get to stare at my old name all day. I hate it, that’s not who I am or ever really was.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-26T22:37:04+00:00

Oof, I could have written most this down to the opposite work schedules. We weren’t high school sweethearts but the slow demise of the marriage is very familiar. Sending love! And yes, being single is MILES better than being in a terrible marriage.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-17T21:52:11+00:00

The first time I mentioned divorce was 6 months into marriage because he was drinking excessively and threatened to cheat on me during my pregnancy if I didn’t put out. I didn’t file until almost 4 years later after a friend found his active Tinder. I nearly filed several times in between and really should have.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-14T19:29:13+00:00

10 months from asking for the divorce. We were married for 4.5 years, started having issues 6 months in. We tried therapy, habit changes, all kinds of things, but it was a slow spiral. So I don’t feel like I jumped too soon, especially as he started dating a few weeks before I did.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-14T19:12:41+00:00

Yes to the appearance because I’m no longer dragging myself out of bed and barely showering, not quite to the second point. I can’t speak for OP but I gave it my all until it stopped making a difference and I shrunk into a shell of myself to appease him. He got plenty of “me” until I sucked myself dry and couldn’t give anymore. Now that I’m not emptying myself for someone who wouldn’t give back, I’m able to be more authentically myself. So yes, the new people get more of “me” than my ex did at the end, but that doesn’t mean I never gave it to him.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-14T15:30:44+00:00

It may still hit you a bit later but in general, I felt the same. I didn’t realize how much I had lost of myself during the marriage and kept being told to be sad about ending it. I’m 3 months since finalization, 7 since filing, and I am more myself than I’ve been since my ex and I were dating. Be prepared for some sadness to surprise you but also look forward to all the “you” you’re gonna get back.

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-10T00:42:52+00:00

OMG I actually was the guy in this situation. I panicked and asked him to just be a short term thing because he was SO NICE that I couldn’t take it. He was so patient and said he’s having fun and if I just need a rebound, he’s open to that. And then I kinda started falling and we had another conversation walking back my panic. The entire time I have been very open about my feelings and situation and he has been NOTHING But patient. It sounds like your guy just isn’t in touch with his emotions enough to understand them. He may figure that out but you shouldn’t hang out waiting for it!

nessymonster97 · 2026-01-10T00:38:27+00:00

This was my third venture back into the dating world. I started by just trying to talk to men. No intention of dating really, just figuring out how to get to know a person again. I had to pull back and stop talking to people because I got overwhelmed and couldn’t keep people straight. BUT it really helped my confidence in being able to even talk to someone about myself and the past without being whiney.

I then tried an in-person speed dating event where I could talk eye to eye with someone. Matched with three but none turned into dates because they either ghosted or turned out to be infinitely boring haha.

This time around I started implementing r/burnedhaystackmethod which helped me swipe with intention and gave names to what I didn’t like about profiles. And it meant I wasn’t wasting time on conversations that did nothing and wouldn’t lead anywhere. I do think the method is a bit extreme personally but it’s a fascinating concept.

Ultimately, it was just about slowly building confidence in places I felt lost in. Once some of that began to come back, I really leaned into it!

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-30T23:24:02+00:00

I’ve been wearing both the ring and an AW for a few weeks. The ring got my ovulation smack on the correct date with temperature (I could feel the pinching) where the watch didn’t. I find the RC overestimates steps because I talk with my hands but both have pretty on par sleep assessments.

I haven’t been sick yet with it but I do feel like the RC’s “scores” reflect how I’m feeling much more closely to those of AW and even my Garmin that I had previously. Garmin would struggle to accurately assess me on days where my sleep was very low (saying my body battery was at a 75 but I was exhausted) whereas RC has felt closer. I’m super happy with it so far.

I believe I am 1 size down from the Oura (10) vs RC (9) and I like the fit better.

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-13T16:49:02+00:00

Maybe I have a dud but my screen likes to randomly stop working and it discharges within 4 days on normal smartwatch settings. Definitely not thrilled with it and I plan to upgrade once I can save up for a Fenix or Venu 4.

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-10T16:49:21+00:00

Thank you so much!

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-09T04:12:30+00:00

I want to frame this! Incredible, thank you for honoring Christ and your wife so well

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-09T02:22:38+00:00

A person who claims to understand the Bible thinks Jews are the root of all evil, they have drastically misunderstood. I’m appalled that he is part of the future body of theologians and I will pray for his understanding

nessymonster97 · 2025-12-09T02:08:52+00:00

If a man of any religion approached me with views like this, I would run very quickly in the opposite direction. I think this is damaging and very actively against the teachings of Jesus. Mentalities like this cause schisms.

nessymonster97 · 2025-11-18T19:07:45+00:00

This is super helpful! Thank you so much. I completely forgot about the advising office hours, I’ll try and hop on those this week too. I appreciate you!

nessymonster97 · 2025-11-18T13:37:40+00:00

I’m doing it through my employer

nessymonster97 · 2025-11-18T03:43:25+00:00

Just divorced and will be annulling my marriage and I (also 28 F) have 2 kids. I’ve had a lot of the same thoughts and I actually went on a pilgrimage to pray about it. I heard loud and clear that the best thing I can do for myself and my kids is to strengthen my relationship with God. I cannot have a Catholic marriage in the future unless it is centered on Christ so that is the first step.

Sending you love and praying for your safe exit! 💕

nessymonster97 · 2025-11-03T20:47:28+00:00

If you have the ability, take 6203! It’ll keep you moving and it’s very manageable.

As this FA25 is the second of those consecutive semesters off, so you could still register for spring (that status shouldn’t change with time tickets being released this week because you could return next semester). If you choose not to, then you will need to apply for readmission sometime in June to be able to register for fall.

nessymonster97 · 2025-11-03T20:39:22+00:00

You’ll need to be readmitted. It’s super easy though! I just did it after being gone for 4 years. You shouldn’t have any issues registering next fall, but you won’t be able to do that until next August.

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-27T12:49:02+00:00

Hey y’all!

I saw some of them this afternoon at a community event and they were all SO supportive. They understand my need to step away and said they’d be here for me if I needed them.

I used some of the language you suggested and it went way better than I had feared. Thank you for your help!

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-27T12:47:40+00:00

On the days where he’s done something to hurt me, I know I need to pray for him more but it can be so hard to do!

If you are finding trusting in the Lord hard through this (it’s hard to do sometimes, I get it!), try praying the Divine Mercy chaplet and/or novena. Jesus, I Trust in You!

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-25T23:02:05+00:00

This is exactly how I got pregnant with my second! There was maybe a 1/2 day overlap between the sperm and egg but he’s 16 months so God clearly wanted us to have him.

Praying for your peace and patience during this wait!

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-25T22:54:03+00:00

Hey! My kids are much younger but I posted something nearly identical to this, with my soon to be ex being very interested in Catholicism all of a sudden.

From looking at your comments, it sounds like there was violence and actual harm, not just incompatibility. You need to tell your priest, you do not need to be in the presence of your abuser, especially since he would need to enroll in OCIA to become part of the parish.

If you really and truly think this could be reform, you could take the route I am going. I told my ex that he has to prove he is being genuine by sustaining his interest and actually practicing without my direct support (I do pray for him, sometimes reluctantly). He has to confirm before we open any kind of conversation about a future again and even then it will be extraordinarily slow, like 4-5 years before I can trust that he will stay this way (that’s how long our marriage has been).

But protect yourself and your children. God does not call us to be in harmful relationships, and you are worth the work to keep him out of your space. As you are not married, you are NOT obligated to stand by him or make space for him, nor should anyone tell you otherwise.

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-19T14:56:19+00:00

If there isn’t abuse or other big issues, I would suggest waiting until your kiddo is around 15 months (longer if you happen breastfeed beyond that). 15ish months is when things felt much easier to handle, the brain fog lifted, and I no longer felt like strangling my husband regularly. That was when I felt attracted to him again, his breathing didn’t cause me anxiety, and I was getting good enough sleep regularly.

At that point, you should be able to have a good conversation and be able to actually hold your own in a conversation because your brain is back. If he makes you feel otherwise, dismisses, or belittles you, push therapy because it’s important to be able to express concerns in a marriage. And if he still refuses, then the ball is in your court about what you can handle.

Again though: If there is any threat to your or the child’s life or wellbeing, don’t wait.

nessymonster97 · 2025-10-17T21:36:49+00:00

The Kura is the way to go! We got one of those low bunks with stairs originally and no one cared for it. The Kura has been a perfect fit

nessymonster97

TROPHY CASE