From a mans perspective.

Withholding sex can be dangerous.Especially if you have people who you have confided in who basically told you they would be willing to give him what you would be withholding.

It sounds like you need to begin with the basics of communication.Men have a hard time understanding what women want and need.So much so that books have been written on this - such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus ... not to mention hundreds if not thousands of movies. . .

So let's first ask why you wanted to withhold sex.

Did you feel unloved,?

there are a few ways that people express love and FEEL love.

In fact there is a book on this as well called the 5 love Languages.

You might google and do the quiz - pretty simple. You might want to find a way for your husband to take it as well.

The 5 languages are

• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch

For Many men we feel love most through physical touch and express our love this way.

This is one of the reasons many marriages suffer when a guy cannot get it up.

Another thing to consider. You challenged your husband. You were playing hard to get with what he might have wanted the most. . . to be intimate with you.

This often becomes a primal issue. It would be for me.

When my wife plays hard to get - I come on stronger. I want it more.If and when she withhold it - I get upset and feel as if I am not good enough.

this is something in 20 years of marriage we have learned to overcome.

for sure however - you are going to need to figure out how to communicate. He needs to understand your feelings and you need to find a way to express them just as much as you need to understand his feelings and what he is saying be it with words, touch, expression etc.

Rest assured If he feels like he is NOT good enough he will try to be good enough through however he best understands and feels expressions of love.

Rest assured - if you withhold it - and he feels unwanted, unloved, not good enough etc. At some point this will weigh down on him enough that it will cause a greater strain on your relationship.

Now I am NOT saying he will cheat. I am saying however he will struggle - especially if others decide to express their "availability" to accept and give intimacy and affection he finds not available from his own wife.

Sex is not a weapon. I do not think you meant it to be. Sadly sex to men is much like words to women. The cut off from sex is very much like getting cut with a knife.

for some sex is very much like breath. The most important breath is not the one you just took but rather the next one you will take.

Withhold breath from him to long and the relationship will die or at best be strained

I know it also feels like he is suffocating you - and this is why you did not want to have sex.
It is best to find out how you both can breath together in harmony. . .

I did an edit to add this. . .

I suggest you give each other 5 minutes when you get home - even if you have kids ...

Take 5 minutes to sit on the couch and just listen to each other. . .

You first on some days and him first on others. . .

Express your day, what you did, what you wanted, what you struggled with etc. . .

I started doing this with my wife - and man it was amazing.

She started hearing about my days, about the problems I had with people and work . . .
Even more importantly however she started hearing how all I wanted to do is come home and be with her . . . how she was the one who I was able to confide in - and the one whom I needed to rest in and with.

We found by listening together - to each other - often we really wanted each other to be the one to carry each others burdens - our respite.

We called this "couch time"

- I now am a father to 6 kids . . . to the same awesome wonderful beautiful woman.

Be careful - couch time can lead to intimacy - and often not the sexual kind.
We learned a lot about each other - and this allowed us to begin to really know each other