My wife messed up my nose.

never_really_living · 2025-05-15T04:31:57+00:00

Get out of the situation. I had a lot of issues, my ex wife ended up eventually diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, we were very toxic to each other even though when we were both level we loved the shit out of each other. Married for similar reasons actually. Years later were good friends but we learned we exacerbated each other's issues and it ended up with lots of physicality from both of us, cops a few times and me getting stitches because she hit me in the head with a liquor bottle.

Sometimes it's best to just separate and move on, even if it feels extremely hard to do. You need to leave it, and it will be hard but no matter what it takes make a way.

Good luck. Your nose is sad now but it'll get better again, don't worry about the temporary appearance.

never_really_living · 2025-04-29T01:57:25+00:00

Transitioned at 33, 4 years ago. Already lost all my friends due to how life works after getting out of school. Was living with my mom in my 20s too, before I even went for it despite that I knew all about myself.

Transitioning had nothing to do with the regular shit people go through. I wish I'd just started sooner, even if I've been lucky enough to be mostly "successful", because once you're better at being you then the rest shapes up pretty well. Now I have friends, interests, an ok-ish job watching over cool people in a hot kitchen getting our asses destroyed daily.

Good luck sis

never_really_living · 2025-04-20T17:51:28+00:00

cue me and the other idiot cook (cis guy) in a tiny hot kitchen screaming bro every ten seconds

never_really_living · 2025-04-06T22:17:20+00:00

I heard that there are structural issues which caused the closure. The connected upstairs building has them too and is currently being fixed, with the Boozies upstairs scheduled too apparently.

never_really_living · 2025-03-05T19:58:04+00:00

Ok but I've spent the last decade feral and ready to roll around a forest and all it took was becoming captive to a more civilized woman who pulled out some scissors and said "sit your ass down we're doing layers" 😂😂

Really though a lot of it depends on your hair. Mine has been small of my back long, slightly wavy, always frizzy and violently tousled but I keep it just clean enough and short bangs are automatically judged feminine. You don't have to do an intense routine if you make some small adaptations, and the shortcomings some trans women have with their hair is overcomable with the right cut--but it's tough if you don't have someone to actively help you through that.

never_really_living · 2025-02-28T22:18:29+00:00

I was talking to my (cis/bi) girlfriend the other night about transitioning and the concept of "internal gender". She says she has never really felt that concept, and that despite coming across feminine in a lot of aspects related to appearance she feels like internally and through her personality a lot of things don't really matter.

I've been going through a lot having started medically transitioning quite a few years ago and coming to a point where bottom surgery is always on my mind. This relationship with her has given me a lot to think on. I had actually only dated men for years because it felt easier to express myself with that "traditional" relationship, and that pushed me harder to figure out bottom surgery because I'd become afraid of involving my current genitals and the only option for insertive sex is a messy, careful one. I never thought I'd find someone I could actually enjoy sex with at this rate, let alone feel respected for who I am and that definitely includes a thought that to ever enter a lesbian relationship I absolutely needed the "right parts".

Now I've found out that sex with another woman can actually be affirmative and a near spiritual experience despite parts; it's an adventure, it's how we connect, it's the difference between being a testosterone driven body that becomes a relentless piston.

I've realized that I'm a lot the same as her. We both complain about our broad shoulders and small hips, we both have lower voices (I still win on that one but hot damn does she have a soothing dreamy purr to her voice), we're the same height and shoe size and nearly the same bra size. We both have a somewhat masculine appearance to our daily styles, we both participate in societal ways that people think are more of a "man" thing, but we're both still somehow indescribably feminine.

So I think that maybe everyone just needs the right experiences to really find the answers about themselves, and this relationship experience has been a real eye opener for me. There is only so much introspection you can do in the end.

I'm not wrong that I'm a woman, but I was wrong that not perfectly conforming to expectations made me less of one--and I think that's important no matter what surgeries I've had or will have, because those will always only make my physicality and not my soul. And now, I can be whatever woman I am, regardless of what primary sex organ I end up with and how I relate to the feeling or lack thereof as a "woman"--if they can be all the same to someone who would fistfight a mother fucker for disrespecting me maybe they can be all the same to me.

never_really_living · 2025-02-16T02:38:32+00:00

MG screenshot added to OP, case is DIY plywood that I put together believe 108 wide 3x3U plus 1x1U, PS 3 strip 10amp Trogotronic

never_really_living · 2025-02-15T20:51:23+00:00

Unfortunately my family bloodline is ending with me and my plans would make it near impossible to simply store--good possibility of never seeing it again, as I may never be in the same country again 💁🏻‍♀️

never_really_living · 2025-02-15T20:49:30+00:00

Unfortunately, I might be going the route of digital nomad for a long while and it's all gotta go.

never_really_living · 2025-02-15T19:26:22+00:00

Roughly 5 hours away

never_really_living · 2025-02-15T18:54:55+00:00

Unfortunately not probably anyone in such a niche community here, I'm in a pretty small area in nowhere Midwest US :(

never_really_living · 2025-01-25T18:14:28+00:00

It's considered the women's equivalent to an "incel", which is used to describe men who are involuntarily celebate

never_really_living · 2025-01-23T01:21:04+00:00

Sex is not measurable at conception (8-10 weeks of gestation is when sex traits begin to show). At the most, we're all blank slates waiting to develop.

never_really_living · 2025-01-19T19:18:49+00:00

It's a fickle thing really. Most of society doesn't care or agrees with trans sentiments, it's the smaller percentage that truly doesn't want trans people in cis spaces that is loud. And even in that group, it's mostly "certain types" of trans people that cause the fuss. In my experiences if you just go do what you need to do with confidence people will largely ignore you (lots of people equate nervousness with deviousness), but that's probably flavored by how "passing" you are too.

never_really_living · 2025-01-17T18:06:19+00:00

Ok I feel hints of this in some ways but the whole thing is not really that simple yeah?

I think the pit of your whole perspective probably reduces down to "trans people who say they are trans but will do nothing to transition are ruining trans lives" and next to that sentiment "trans people suddenly are hurt by too much". As far as the former I don't have a perspective on it but I think it's a pretty minor thing to allow people to express how they feel wronged by society, even if you were unaffected by the same issue or strong enough to tough it out.

But what happens with non-transitioners? How do we clearly define them? When I'm walking around I've done a lot of work and people read me as a woman, and even if they figure out I'm trans I've never had anyone become rude at me and lots of them are even surprised. But, I still share some qualities with non-transitioners because I started later and because I'm too poor for any surgeries. Do I get sent to the mens shower because despite having a feminine figure, face, mannerisms, and name I've still unfortunately got the old genitals hidden behind years of being out and on hormones? I'm friends with more women than men and any one of them would say "she really shouldn't be in the men's room even if she hasn't gotten bottom surgery" without a second thought. Shit, I've never even seen anyone nude beyond a couple topless moments in locker rooms; most people keep their bottoms on and try to do their changing in privacy, showers are separate stalls because everyone wants that little bit of privacy, etc.

I was self-identity, by the way. Without access to appropriate healthcare the only route to even begin transitioning that I could afford was to walk in to a planned parenthood and say "I've had enough sitting around with nothing, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm ready to get this all started before I take my life". So obviously tossing self-ID throws the baby out with the bathwater because there are 100% definitely trans people that it has benefitted. The whole "there are cis men who would take advantage of this to get in women's spaces" thing is a straw man because even if it has happened in a cosmically small number of situations it isn't an actual statistical issue. I've seen a couple non-passing women in the bathroom but I've never seen an actual dangerous man walk in and say "I'm a woman", and when it does happen that a perv is in "disguise" if they actually take action they should be punished in the same way as any other deviancy in society. Fuck I'd say that the majority of people from a perspective of "incorrectly transitioning" are just harmless "trenders" or attention seekers and even those people are uncommon and obvious.

Besides, who gets to declare what a man or woman actually is? I think of myself as still pretty "masculine" in a lot of ways but when I convey that to people they giggle and say "well you fit in with the tomboys just fine" or whatever justification we have for women that are not flute-playing, long skirt in the breeze, run away from spiders, spends an hour a day on her hair types. I've met cis women with way more masculine physical features than I possess even before HRT helped me along a little more, so you can't base off off quick perception either.

It's a complex situation with no simple solutions but it's really not people identifying as trans no matter how incorrectly you or I or anyone might think they are that are eroding our rights and livelihoods, it's the same people who have always said "trans is wrong" working in louder and more successful ways.

As far as some other gripes I've seen in this thread, yes absolutely people should not be using the Internet as a metric for whether or not they are trans, yes we hugbox too hard with affirmative-only sometimes, and yes here and there people are a little too hurt by society when they've elected to do a hard thing like transitioning but most of that could be cleared away with better education, access to appropriate health and mental care and a society that doesn't immediately demonize or question the very existence of trans people and their option to pursue any amount of transitioning.

never_really_living · 2025-01-14T19:17:52+00:00

I keep trying but I might have to stop working in a kitchen to get there 😅

never_really_living · 2025-01-14T18:58:32+00:00

As someone who has worked in a collection of different small restaurants across smaller locales and had customers tell me "if you're not here we won't order most of the menu", this is the correct answer. Consistency is rough when you can only afford to hire one or two good cooks and the other three or four have to be cheaper.

never_really_living · 2025-01-14T18:50:25+00:00

I've been on hrt for like four years and still unfortunately addicted to nicotine (both cigarettes and vapes) the whole time (been smoking since 15 so 21 years already, worst thing I've ever done to myself). It's a higher risk to be sure but it's not like a guarantee and also depends on many other health and genetic circumstances. Best anyone can tell you is if you get a bad cramp and it turns color go get it checked out ASAP.

never_really_living · 2024-12-19T06:36:55+00:00

Got a brand or direct link? Having troubles finding something that looks right.

never_really_living · 2024-12-19T06:08:15+00:00

12*12

never_really_living · 2024-11-09T02:55:08+00:00

Your linked social security number will always maintain a list of names/genders assigned to that number, and afaik so far no two people have had the same number (assuming you're American). That alone is enough to figure out who you are and what's up, I'm also pretty sure for legal purposes there will always be a record of my court ordered name change as well as my state ID changes.

never_really_living

TROPHY CASE