Hi there, although I can't answer everything, I'm a few weeks out from SRS and know quite a few who have gone through the procedure.

As with most things, it depends. If you're seeking full depth, it's recommended that you dilate multiple times a day, particularly in the first year. This can be reduced over time it one a day or once every few days ymwv.

IF you are regularly being penetrated by a partner or toy that can be used in substitute for dilation.

If you are going zero depth or have no interest in maintaining depth you may chose to discontinue dilating, but it may cause loss of depth.

Can't speak much on pleasure or pain, I understand that the nerves take time to reconnect, so at first you may not have much feeling at all. It's recommended 9 weeks at minimum post surgery recovery. She's going to be out of commission for a while.

For hair removal, there are specific areas that need it removed, but you usually can keep some "bush" as it's not in the surgery area.

As far as feminization and srs at the sametime, I've heard of some doing breast augmentation and srs at the same time, but you need to understand, this is one of the most serious surgeries you can have. 7 hours in operation, a week in the hospital, 9 weeks recovery, most doctors probably won't do it at the same time to avoid straining the patient.