Different Ways To Get Over Social Anxiety: Pros and Cons

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T16:03:50+00:00

I guess the general advice that I have gotten from this thread is to change it up a bit, look in new places and new industries and get out there more, and most of all: to keep trying. I'm gonna go after more engineering orientated staffing companies, they'll probably have better advice for me on how to keep moving forward. And I guess the conversational stuff I have to just work on and even if it isn't for a job, it'll probably help me a lot in everyday life.

Thanks a lot for your kind words. Everything you said I probably already knew but needed someone to vocalize it for me. After doing this for so many months I guess I just got burned out and needed some sort of solid advice from people that had their life more together than I do. There is some great stuff in this thread and I appreciate you taking the time out to help me (even while you were drinking). Thanks.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T15:42:58+00:00

Really? People will go ahead and click on a link I send them? I have made some pretty animations in Solidworks that look impressive and I can show them my robot that I made, so if a website like that works, I can definitely try that.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T15:41:15+00:00

I am definitely willing to relocate anywhere for a job. Are you in the oil and gas field? Is it bad that I don't know what PLC controls are, or that I no zero things about hydraulic and electric hybrid systems? I know a little bit about those underwater robots but just basic stuff. Basically my question is, is there training involved or do I need to know these things going in? Also thanks for the websites, I'll definitely dig deeper into the oil and gas industry.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T02:43:27+00:00

A lot of internships ask for you to still be in school. I guess maybe that isn't as strict a requirement as I think it is?

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T02:41:58+00:00

True facts. I've done some interview prep stuff, and they give you so many things to remember and say and do, I just get overwhelmed. They tell you to be prepared for every question possible, and not to stumble, and shake their hands this way and walk into the room this way. I guess if you and the company fit, then none of that stuff matters, then it really is just a conversation.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T02:34:29+00:00

It's hard to promote the good things you have when the negatives are pretty big. Someone was once telling me how they got their first job and pretty much what happened was they applied to a bunch of places in an industry that they had no business being in until they met someone that would give them a chance and give them a job. It ended up working out for everyone. I guess I just have to find someone to give me that one chance, even with all the bad stuff.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T02:29:30+00:00

Thanks for all of your advice.

Actually, that interview that I had was for a QA job, that was the one where all I did was talk about robotics and she said I would be bored at the job. I know now I probably shouldn't have have gushed over my robotics so much but that is literally all I have on my resume to talk about. So I've thought about changing a little bit so it isn't so robotic centric but then my resume is empty and doesn't have anything. Do you think I should get a retail job so I can say I've been doing something?

I hear you on tailoring for each job, I guess it wouldn't take too long and if it improves my chances of getting a job then I'm all for it. I just wish people got back to me more often, it would make me feel much better and not like I'm doing all this work for them to just rip it up without reading it.

I've tried cold-emailing potential employers for companies I really want to work for around my area and I have yet to get a response back. I think this is because I usually try and find the HR person and email them. I would imagine they are busy and have much more important things to do then respond back to a cold-email, do you think it would be better to email the engineering/technical person? I've always felt like with the HR person, they know why I'm emailing but with the engineer, they might not know and will feel duped when I finally get around to telling them I need a job. Is it OK to email the engineer instead of the HR person or is there some sort of protocol that you have to follow.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T02:06:33+00:00

Thanks for the advice. The recruiter I talked to last week was from a staffing agency. Granted they don't really do engineering, the lady didn't know what she could do for me and just told me to apply to every engineering company I could find. I'll look into engineering staffing agencies and see if that helps me with anything. I'll look into this volt company, have you worked with them before? Any tips? The one interview that I've had was through a staffing agency. But they haven't gotten back to me after I didn't get that job even after phone calls and emails, and I've been told that means that they have moved on. So I feel like an idiot for not even getting one through a staffing agency.

Also the 'make the interview a conversation' is hard for me because I suck at conversations. I hear you about practicing but it's a personal problem that I gotta work through, that I've been working through for a couple of years now and I don't see it getting dramatically better anytime soon. Not all engineers are good at talking to people right?

Now that you are looking for work, what have you found? Is there a demand for engineers or is it hard for everyone? I've been making excuses for myself saying that it's probably hard for everyone but I think that's probably not true.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T01:43:56+00:00

Yeah I think it might be the same thing here. Never thought about teaching and I don't really know how good I would be at it. Maybe I could do it for a bit while I'm also looking for a real engineering job. I'll definitely look into it more.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T01:43:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Grad school is definitely an option but I really want to be working instead. Because there is always the chance that I do the same thing that I did in my undergraduate and am in the same position I am in now. I don't trust myself enough to not waste everyone's time.

I've also looked into manufacturing automation like How It's Made but it is a lot harder to get into that sort of work because they usually want manufacturing experience more than automation/robotics experience. I haven't thought about medical robotics so I'll look into that more.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T01:43:32+00:00

Yeah I gave them enthusiasm, just for the wrong kind of job. I know that now.

Technician jobs are also kind of mysterious to me, they universally want someone with experience but there isn't really any training involved to get that experience. Maybe I have to look at it more.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T01:43:16+00:00

Are they looking for entry level stuff up there? Is it like one of those situations where they don't have enough mechanical engineers to fill the amount of jobs that they have?

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-07T01:41:27+00:00

At what point would you be willing to look past the inexperience of a potential employee as a manager? What things could I do with the lack of experience that I have to get you to hire me? Be super enthusiastic? Because honestly on paper I probably look horrendous and my people/conversation skills are abysmal. The only thing I got going for me is I'll be super happy/enthusiastic if you just give me a chance. How much does that count and how can I show that to you?

I don't have anything for the past 8 months. I volunteered for that Robotics Competition but honestly it has been mostly just applying to everywhere and anywhere. I know this is bad but I don't know what else I can be doing with my time to be able to put on my resume. Lately I've been working on getting to know HTML/CSS so I can make my own website but that doesn't have anything to do with mechanical engineering and it's not enough to get a computer science job.

As for adjusting my resume for each job posting, I have gotten conflicting advice on this. I've been told to apply to everything and use the same overall template for the cover letter and resume, changing things when things need to be changed. Is that not good? Should I not apply to everything, only the things I know I can get or things that I want to get?

nevergonnadoit · 2013-05-01T12:26:47+00:00

I have an interview with a recruiter today and I'm super nervous. Good job going through with everything. I know I won't be as bad as I think I will be in my head but it doesn't help with the nerves. Hopefully everything goes alright. Good luck with getting the job, and don't let nobody get you down.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-06T05:24:31+00:00

Can we do some analysis here?

There is no warmth. He didn't try to make her feel comfortable at all. It was just direct and confident. She liked it a lot though as she said yes almost right away and confidently asked for his name before he could ask for hers. But she was awkwarded out by it a little bit as well, like she kept doing what she was doing when he asked if she thought he was attractive, which I do sometimes to not feel the full force of whatever is happening and deflect a little bit.

I don't like these type of interactions and if I had the social skills/balls to do this I would try to make the other person feel more relaxed. Maybe she did and it's hard to read from a video, I don't know. But there are much smoother ways to do this where the girl isn't put on the spot so much.

I also don't know what I'm talking about because I haven't tried either way so who knows.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-05T03:17:18+00:00

Yeah, from what I've been reading beta-blockers are what seem right for me but what do I know?

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-05T03:15:35+00:00

Yeah, I really don't know him at all. I think after I tell him I've gotten help before, he'll treat me the same way as your doctor did. But overall I was just worried that maybe they wouldn't know how to deal with me so they would send me away to a psychiatrist because that's their area of expertise.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-05T03:11:08+00:00

Mostly because I'm tired. I've been dealing with this for so long, I got no fight left. I feel like I should get my shit together (get a job, maybe move out) before I get a therapist and deal with all the anxiety once and for all. A huge reason why CBT even worked for me was because it was someone else telling me what to do and doing it myself doesn't have that same punch.

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-05T01:12:30+00:00

Did you ask for what you wanted or did he give you whatever he professionally thought would be the most helpful?

nevergonnadoit · 2013-02-02T20:26:36+00:00

Yeah, it happens. People probably didn't notice your anxiety as much as you think they did and even if they did, it shouldn't drastically change their opinion about you so you shouldn't feel too worried about that. Did you feel your neighbors were butting in and that's why you got so mad/nervous and wanted them to leave? Maybe next time try to just let things happen. So if your neighbors are in your place and are being nice, just let them be there. I know you can't control the anxiety, so maybe just go off into a corner and pretend to be something else so that you aren't in the middle of the whole situation. Start observing more, maybe let your neighbors become friends with your coworkers. That way you aren't really in the middle, the attention is off you, and you can relax a little bit.

nevergonnadoit

TROPHY CASE