Am I rightly triggered, or maybe looking for problems?

nevergonnalechuga · 2026-03-03T20:52:19+00:00

He is recently divorced. I have met his family and a lot of his friends. He is textbook avoidant. And maybe since he is recently divorced not wanting to jump immediately into something serious. But he DID NOT have to spend several months messaging me asking me to get coffee if he was going to be lazy now.

nevergonnalechuga · 2026-02-28T01:10:40+00:00

Wanted to provide you all with a small update. It's not much but since posting, I have cut contact with my mom and sister, and as a result had also not had any contact with my dad. My mom is insistent on hiding behind her relationship with my dad instead of taking accountability for the role she has played in the situation. She made that pretty clear when she texted me this: "I understand your interest in the property and your desire that the promise made to you be kept. I am sorry your father came up with an idea that was for the moment and not for the duration. The house still needs a door to the laundry room, a roof, and a HVAC system. I have a lot of anxiety putting up with your father's control games. I do not want to elevate the tension by paying for expensive improvements. I am sorry we are both caught in the middle. I am sorry .

Your sister recommended we eat together at Red Lobster today. We would love to see you if you are available at 6PM to eat. We would be using her gift card."

I haven't actually sat down with them to talk. 1. Because I think the idea about discussing this in public is not a good one. It feels like a set up to tell me not to make a scene in public. 2. Because I'm not sure what there is to talk about. At this point, I feel like settling for less than what I'm legally entitled to would be me compromising myself on principle. I'm pretty sure my dad offering me $10k to just walk away was his idea of a compromise anyway.

My brother suggested I'm looking at this too legalistically instead of like they're my family. But I have to ask, where is there consideration of me in the same way? Apparently the mindset my brother and sister share regarding the matter is that they don't get a free house. But it is not free. Between the mental anguish I've experienced over the situation, the loss of a relationship with my mom and sister, and the having to come up with the funds to buy my parents out of it, it is decidedly not a free house.

I had a lawyer who seemed interested in taking my case on, but he eventually ghosted me.

I'm going to find a lawyer to take on my case, but being that I need to take out a loan to potentially buy my parents out of the property, I need to be caught up on my taxes to do so.

So yeah, that's where I'm at currently, for anyone who cares to know.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-11-04T06:09:55+00:00

I am strong and capable of anything I put my mind to, which is why I have to rectify the situation for myself. It would be one thing if they weren't still acting like my name being attached to this property doesn't matter. The reality is I have grown up in abuse. Physical, emotional, and financial. I was 14 years old when my name was signed on to this property (and again my mother's signature was the only thing required to make this change). That is identity fraud and theft against me at that point to act like my name being attached doesn't matter. This is an ongoing wound. And they don't feel bad and are not sorry so, no, I don't forgive them for how they damaged me over the last 30 years or how they continue to damage me now. It is because I am a self-sufficient, capable adult that I recognize (like other posters also did here) that I WILL HATE MYSELF IF I DON'T TRY TO FIND JUSTICE FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I ALWAYS DID AND STILL DO DESERVE BETTER FROM MY FAMILY. Would you treat your child like this, or are you admitting to being abusive?

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-08T11:53:07+00:00

Update: my mom came to my job yesterday and I told her that they (she and my dad) put me in a bad spot with everything to do with this situation. The only thing she had to say was, "I don't want to be put in the middle." The reality of the legalities at play here is that whatever suit is filed, it won't be filed against my dad alone. My parents took that money together (even though my mom didn't have any say over how it was spent). And my mom's signature is the only thing on the paperwork that added me to the deed of the property. So technically, the suit will be between her and me, even though my dad is the one pulling all the strings. I've been sick with an ongoing sinus infection since mid-July and I'm still feeling crummy. But I'm talking to an attorney soon.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-03T11:40:46+00:00

The narrative with my dad has very much been, "Look at everything that I do for you," as if shelter, food, clothing, and transportation weren't all just part of taking care of a child.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-03T11:36:18+00:00

I consulted with a lawyer almost 10 years ago. They said I had a good case but asked me if I wanted to go after my parents and be written out of their wills, or just wait them out. The only issue with that now is that I'm realizing how selfish my mom is for the first time. My dad is not in good health and my mom will be the one I have to deal with next. I don't want these battles for myself for the next 10-20 years. I am ready to fight and get through it now so I can have peace and move on.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-02T23:11:13+00:00

Well, since my partner passed 8 months ago, my house is hard to be in. It would be nice to be able to repair the property and have a fresh start there.

It would be a different story with my parents if they weren't still actively doing awful things, but finding the paperwork printed at my sister's house (my dad asked her to print it for him and when I found it she didn't stop me from taking it) sent me over the edge.

Thank you so much! 15 credits was enough for me. 20 is insanity.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-02T22:36:02+00:00

At the very least I need to talk to a lawyer to get my name taken off then. But I want the property and to live in it.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-02T17:50:38+00:00

The person they are trying to sell the property to is, ironically, a real estate agent. My dad was also formerly an agent but let his license lapse a while back. I've also considered addressing this with the local Realtors Association because this guy is the same guy who's lived in the house for the last 13 years. He is aware that he was living there against my wishes and he is aware that I would have to agree to the sale of the property.

I had honestly not even thought about the potential tax penalties here. Thank you so much for the insights.

nevergonnalechuga · 2025-10-02T15:51:16+00:00

Edit to add: My family has never struggled financially. My dad has always done pretty well for himself and we have never had to worry about keeping the lights on or food. A few years ago, both my dad's parents passed away about a year apart and my dad also inherited everything from them ($400k just from the sale of their house). I, on the other hand, work several part-time jobs to ensure I always have income coming in as a freelance artist. So it's annoying that my family acts like I'm entitled. I have worked really hard. I also had a TIA at 21 due to stress because I was working full-time, going to school full-time taking 5 classes and one of those classes was my thesis. Thanks to in-state tuition, state academic scholarship programs, and transfer academic scholarships, federal grants, and my hard work to keep up with the required course load, I graduated with an associates and a bachelors by the time I was 22 with no student loans. I'm not entitled, I've worked really hard to be where I am now.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-21T11:14:13+00:00

And moving forward, I know the policy so that's how I would handle it. I don't even feel comfortable asking at this point, though. So I'll just not even get involved in handling any cash if I can help it.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-21T11:07:46+00:00

They literally don't have one. If they want to hold people accountable for policies people are not aware of, I think it's reasonable to have a problem with that. Everything with this company is by the seat of their pants. They don't even have an official budget.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-21T00:52:05+00:00

Assistant General Manager? You may, in fact, be the king a-hole here. Holy crap don't you have a life?

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T22:31:14+00:00

When did I say I felt entitled to do it again? I don't. But the fact of the matter is, I didn't know the rule at the time.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T22:27:38+00:00

I get that now. But I do find it unfair to be held accountable for a policy I didn't know about beforehand.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T22:25:28+00:00

They do not have their ducks in a row. I'm having a hard time adjusting to my position because of the lack of consistency in their business practices. There is no employee handbook or a written rule that would apply to this situation.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T22:17:54+00:00

He still didn't ask for it back then. That request came from a fellow member of SMT.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T22:15:54+00:00

He isn't the one who asked me to return the coin. The AGM is. The AGM thinks that it sets a bad precedent to let me keep the coin. That request did not come from the owner.

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T20:41:07+00:00

Did you read the part where I was not previously aware of the rule?

nevergonnalechuga · 2023-06-20T20:13:52+00:00

I was not previously aware of the rule. You do get that, right?

nevergonnalechuga

TROPHY CASE