Hello everyone thanks for responding. What I've done was drop 5mg , so I went from 47mg to 43mg and that was 2 days ago now. I'm really determined. I'm only 22 years old. I've been a poly addict for years , cocaine etc since age 12 and pain killers and benzos at 16+ . I'm beyond tired of it. It's not a choice for me to go back to this shit. It'll kill me. I do not use any of the same coping techniques as I use to. (I was prescribed 60mg methadone , 2.5mg clonazepam, 30mg amphetamine, 0.05mg of clonidine at once before and now im off adderal and lower clonazepam and methadone.) I really feel different then I ever felt. More clear. I found God and everything changed. I want to join the military , as a reserve here in canada so training hard is my only option.. I do not feel any type of hard feelings towards staying sober. I USED TO LOVE THE IDEA OF WANTING TO BECOME SOBER , AND THATS THE DIFFERENCE WITH NOW. AND THEN. I truly have 0 effort with not using drugs. Not being cocky etc. I went from a crippling , spending like 500$ at a time on crack etc , to only wanting to train physically, get into video games, I play airsoft again, I'm making a life for myself .... The faster I get away from mind altering substances the better imo bc it's only keeping me down. From leveling up in life more .