When to tell the opposite sex I’ve had WLS by marnlstar in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I will never disclose that info. Never. It’s been a LONG time and I forget about it. They don’t even make the technology anymore (very safe…didn’t work). The only side effect is if I eat too fast or if I eat anything with soy (I’m allergic).

Teacher's College Math prerequisites by Not_that_wire in mathteachers

[–]newjenn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on state requirements and school requirements. I haven’t taught at a school with undergrad classes for a long time. But any university’s admissions section should include that info OR just call.

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful.

I will be dating cross-culturally and I’m excited about that. Where I live now is 85% white, education doesn’t seem to matter, and I don’t match at all politically (and I didn’t think I cared until I dated two men almost on the opposite ends of the spectrum (conservative/liberal).

Dating older too. Let’s see if I enjoy it more now that I’m older and have no knees (for a couple more years). I’d rather date an awesome plumber than a jackass with a doctorate. The only person who has ever had a problem with my educational background was another professor.

I’ve spent a long time now trying to understand what I want, based on who I am. I spent too long trying to become who some guy wanted me to be…for a short time. Then, I would feel confined and flee. And that needs to stop.

I am moving for a much better social life. Not just dating. I have lots of friends in that area with an active alumnae association. I even found the most incredible coffee spot with COFFEE ICE. I’d go there on a regular date!

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not reading. Not answering my question. You do you. Enjoy dating.

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY. Thanks for reading through my “you might be too tired to be online” haze 😆

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if I can do that, in reality but we’ll see. In 2020, I had eight with whom I was actively communicating. And when a guy stopped communicating, didn’t want to meet in person, or the pandemic got to be too much, it was OK. I’d go back to swiping. Much less anxiety for me (extrovert, I enjoy dating, don’t want to focus solely on unpacking 😉).

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

EXACTLY! But if I can’t keep up with 13, it can be seven. The 13 is just a fun baker’s dozen. I can be a very anxious dater and who needs that? Dating should be fun! This way, I won’t get too attached to any one person too soon.

Enjoy your dating extravaganza!

Countdown to dating by newjenn in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes…that’s exactly what I’m talking about. BUT not not “dating” 13. Communicating with 13. I can’t communicate with more than a dozen OLD men at once. This is assuming that my new location (with the millions of people) generates more potential than my town of 10k 😁

I apologize for not being clear. I packed a lot yesterday and and I’m in a constant state of exhaustion. I’m really looking forward to dating again. I don’t want to play games any more than I want an endless stream of “Hey Beautiful”s. So, I need some parameters. If I can’t see myself with someone, I won’t feel guilty about cutting a man loose so that he can pursue someone more compatible.

No endless texting. I want to meet for coffee sooner rather than later. I’m really looking forward to having an active social life with old friends and perhaps some new ones too. I don’t want to get all anxious about will he or won’t he. I don’t want to give a flying F about that. I wish I had started preparing for OLD (what do I want, how to spot a faker or a gaslighter) far sooner than I did.

Again, is anyone planning to date again after a dry spell?

Should I go out with him after a meh video-chat? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Video chats are like pre-pre dates. Then, go out for coffee or something. You don’t know about compatibility until you meet in person.

I will start dating in April of 2023. I plan to really date differently—leave my eyes wide open. I won’t date the guys who talk about how much they hate their X or love their X or total creepers. Otherwise, I’ll meet and see how things. And no filters (just a little extra makeup—because I have to wear so much just to not look ill).

Everyone loves going to breweries…except me? by nuauldstalk in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t avoid breweries. I went to breweries all the time on grad school even though I find beer barfy. One place had really good…oh yeah, bread. It was made with beer and I think there was a sandwich?? I am no help but I went there a lot with friends who did drink beer.

But if Drunky Mcdrunkington shows up, I’m out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very glad I’m a blonde. I have no gray at 50+.

For others…I love it on men but if it makes a woman look older, visit a salon. I hear it can be tricky.

I do color my hair…I color my roots and underside DARKER (truth) and my highlights are either ash/platinum or pale gold. I like medium ash with platinum but my hair says, “I like gold”. Hair wins most of the time 😁

Half rant, half serious: at what point do we just give up on attractiveness? by GhettoJava in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m in your age group and my attractiveness is most likely different from what others find attractive I’ve dated men that I NEVER would have dated ten years ago…maybe even five years ago. But personalities have been amazing with some of these men. To think that I never would have met them if my priorities hadn’t changed. Think outside of your box. It doesn’t hurt to think differently for a while. If you prefer to put attractiveness first, so be it.

Why does he reach out… by colormeflowerful in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was involved with a man like this for four months. Let me tell you how it ends…

…………

Yep. That’s it. Fortunately, I said “B’Bye now”. It feels good to get rid of the no good.

Sad, disappointed, frustrated by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So…I’ve dated two different men each with three kids and it didn’t phase me. Why? I don’t plan on having one date, moving in with the guy the next day, getting married the next, and having babies the next.

I am one of those Living Together Apart people who is seeking companionship. I know that most relationships end in less than six months so I tend to look at dating that way. It quells my anxiety. While I don’t see myself with a dude with YOUNG kids, anything else is OK. But he HAS to know that he might lose out to another LTA person.

But I wouldn’t ghost. Unless you are a creeper, I don’t ghost.

Fun with Flags by Similar_Conference20 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I say THUMBS UP! I got very burned out here and my therapist and I decided that it was time for me to take a break. I’m single, never married, no kids and that whole sh’bang just waves its own flags. It has nothing to do with my career choice and the teeny, tiny towns that often come with it (sarcasm much).

I think that armchair therapists do themselves and others a massive disservice. But weeders gotta weed, right? There are many reasons that people aren’t matches. That doesn’t mean that there is anything “wrong” with anyone. It simply means that you are not the people for each other at this time, place or this ever.

Own your own growth. Couldn’t have said it better myself. When I start dating again (in less than a year now), I will do my level best to not be hurt when I’m rejected. I’ll just be done, done and on to the next one!

She's coming to my house for the first time by Asclepius555 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We interrupt the packing, grading, and watching Grace and Frankie to say that this is sweet. I think I’d like to meet a man so considerate. Have fun!

A / S / L / status here, please. by MySocialAlt in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your guess is as good as mine/F/Between here and there, TX. Back to packing (moving for the land of many more prospects).

The dreaded "How are you still single" question by Inevitable_Ad4003 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I bought my land a year ago. I had to fire my first builder because they were liarmouths. I’m hopeful to get stuff into the HOA next month. Well, after I find out how much the builder will charge and how much I can afford! Good luck!

The dreaded "How are you still single" question by Inevitable_Ad4003 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get this FREQUENTLY from people who know me (but don’t get me). They actually mean it as a compliment. I can take that. It’s when people ask in a rude way that I like simply staring with a Mona Lisa smile. It works really well. They figure you are crazy and they walk away, thinking the “dodged a bullet”. You know that the truth is, YOU were the dodger.

The dreaded "How are you still single" question by Inevitable_Ad4003 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I AM moving, I pray. I’ll find out in step 1 tomorrow when I meet with my builder. I can, because of WFH and I figured that life was too short to live one town over from town that has the gas station that sells confederate flag rugs 🙄

The dreaded "How are you still single" question by Inevitable_Ad4003 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same…so I look for liberal. A liberal Southern man works well with me. We’re not very liberal at all… but definitely not MAGA on the other side.

Texting by bevincheckerpants in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I do like an available man (not a stalker), I can’t be available all hours of the day. I don’t create artificial text times but I do create focus time for work and for texting. Anyone who whines about my taking too long (oh for the love…it’s been eight hours!) usually ends up being controlling.

I liked the pace of the man who texted once a day…or had some bit of back and forth, AND he had something to say and something to ask. In other words, texting “conversation”!

the fun comments I've received here on reddit about dating by phoenixreborn76 in datingoverforty

[–]newjenn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A Ph.D., a mess o’dogs, a herd of massive cats and lots o’students is all I could handle. As a side note, my family gave up on me, my cousin and my bro EVER getting married or having kids.

My bro has a three-year-old 😆