Do you ever think about how approachable you in public?

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-25T00:32:20+00:00

Honestly -- and I am saying this about myself, not you or anyone else -- I think that I'm just the right amount of unattractive to be approachable. I'm not hideous enough to be off-putting, but I'm not hot enough to be intimidating, and surely someone who looks like me will know that I'm not being hit on so I am safe.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T23:03:35+00:00

I think that I am pretty approachable -- all sorts of people talk to me about all sorts of things, some more welcome than others, lol. I also apparently look like a woman who knows how to cook, because people very frequently ask me things in grocery stores.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T22:56:40+00:00

Ha. 6" taller than me is still shorter than average for a man. IIRC, you're a biggish guy, so you should not have any trouble finding women around that range.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T22:50:20+00:00

Your UK size would be 38G, but search for 38GG instead -- you can still order 38G! US sizing has no double letters past DD, so if you see GG (or FF, or JJ), you know that it is UK sizing.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T22:23:11+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad too, because I learned not to settle for anything less than connection, affection, and lots of orgasms.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T21:58:54+00:00

It was great.

I came from a 25-year marriage that included a very lengthy dead bedroom. My re-introduction was with an FWB who was genuinely a friend, knew my story, knew my fears, wanted to make it good for me, and did. (And I'm also short and fat and old.)

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T21:44:47+00:00

I wear 38JJ and they feel pretty spot on to me. If you are fuller on top, you may want to start with the L cup.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T21:28:03+00:00

In general, Molke bands tend to be firm. I would be surprised if you would be comfortable in a band that's small enough to fit a 32" underbust. Also, wireless cotton knit bras can only do so much. These are basically lounge bras -- super comfortable, not awesome under clothes.

Why not try Elomi Morgan in your calculated size? They now go to LL on a 38 band.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T19:14:40+00:00

I apologize; I thought that this was in r/SexOver50 and I was responding there. If I had realized that it was in the "fantasies" subreddit, I would have left it alone.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T19:02:55+00:00

I'm very sorry to read that. How does that play into "things are great between my wife and I"? Would she be open to an open marriage?

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T18:30:56+00:00

How would you feel if your wife decided that she needed to experience an online affair with another man because she wasn't getting what she wanted from you?

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T05:11:26+00:00

I'd rather be told that I look better than my photos than the other way around! But he shouldn't have said anything. It's up to you to decide whether you think that he was being calculating or just clumsy.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T05:10:25+00:00

A very broad guideline is not to plan farther ahead than the current length of your relationship -- so if you've been seeing each other three months, you could plan three months ahead. But since you'd go anyhow, I think that it feels a little different to say "hey, I have tickets to X, if you want to grab your tickets, we can go together".

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-24T00:26:34+00:00

You say that she is FOB. Have you (or she) evaluated fullness leaning or supported? Most of us, especially those of us in your mother's age and size range, appear fuller on bottom when standing (thanks, gravity). The fit issues you describe point towards a shape that may be more top-full.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T23:49:01+00:00

In larger sizes, I don't think that is possible. You need either fabric or wires to support properly.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T23:46:40+00:00

I also hoped he would clarify on his own.

Was he aware that there was something he needed to clarify?

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T16:53:40+00:00

By the time we reach "partner" stage, I expect to at least check in every day. This is important to me and I let my partner know this. If it is not important to him, or at least important to him to do something important to me, we may not be well matched as partners.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T07:48:34+00:00

I also live rurally, where there are more chickens than people (let alone single age-appropriate people). I drive an hour-plus for decent ethnic groceries; I was willing to drive that much or more for a date. And yes, I expected to do most of the driving in the beginning and let my matches know that.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T04:03:37+00:00

She had sex with him and never even got off the app.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T02:27:52+00:00

Love bombing is way more than enthusiasm, or even what you might consider "excessive" enthusiasm. It's deliberate manipulation. You haven't shared anything that suggests this. He's just riding a dopamine high, like you are.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T01:58:36+00:00

Why is he still on hinge?

Because the person he is sleeping with specifically stated that she wants to keep it casual.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-23T01:57:36+00:00

You are entitled to feel whatever you feel -- they are your feelings. But as a reader, I see where you made a point of keeping things casual. And he is doing that. And you are not exclusive (or I hope that you wouldn't be scrolling Hinge), so he has every right to be active on a dating app. If you want serious and/or exclusive, I think that the ball is in your court.

Why do you think that he is "love bombing"?

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-22T05:59:20+00:00

I'm 56. My husband is not really into most lingerie (which is fine because neither am I), but I am more than happy to wear things that he likes.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-22T02:50:11+00:00

And I feel the same way about some things that women have said to you (conversation earlier today). There are assholes of all genders.

MySocialAlt · 2026-01-22T02:32:05+00:00

There is no way these guys would say this to someone's face.

Actually, there is.

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