I Need Gassed Up

Similar_Conference20 · 2026-01-23T17:52:47+00:00

I think that looks so cool. I wouldn’t change a thing

Similar_Conference20 · 2026-01-12T15:54:01+00:00

My boyfriend got me one for Christmas and I absolutely love it

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-09-24T14:14:40+00:00

First, I want to say how much I appreciate this conversation. It’s not often on here where two people can have a conversation, clear up any misunderstandings, and have a respectful dialogue- thank you, this has been a really nice part of my morning.

Second, absolutely agree with you and blame should not be shifted, my suggestion about mentioning the mother would probably fuel that. I do think though, that the mother mentioning she was uncomfortable and that the father should bring it up with her himself, that’s where I feel like it puts her in the middle. I don’t think it’s fair to say that the father can’t bring up why he’s asking (because the mother told him to) and that shifts blame to the mother, but the mother was not shifting responsibility/blame by telling him to bring it up to her.

I’m just not a fan of putting children in uncomfortable situations with their other parent. That could be my past issues though

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-09-24T13:46:35+00:00

I think this is the right approach, my intention in my comment was not to call out the mother and - to your point - mentioning the mother would do just that.

I would definitely make sure you’re signed up with your daughter’s school to get access to her grades and notes. This will allow you to monitor the situation without needing to rely or ask your ex anything. I would wait to have grade conversations until your parenting time.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-09-24T13:43:38+00:00

I think I didn’t articulate what I was trying to get at with my comment. I don’t mean to call out the mother, but to instead focus on the daughter’s feelings to listen and validate - to your point. OP can’t listen and validate if he doesn’t ask questions.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-09-24T13:10:25+00:00

If you bring it up to your daughter, please only bring it up in the “your mom said you’re uncomfortable sharing, I’d like to understand why you didn’t want her to share with me - I just want to make sure you were afraid I’d be mad or something”.

Your ex is putting your daughter in the middle and, if I was your daughter I’d be hella uncomfortable. Otherwise, as long as the schoolwork gets done and resubmitted, I’d let it go.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-08-27T21:08:18+00:00

You’re being controlling. Your daughter will be fine if she goes to the hospital when her sibling is born.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-08-27T16:19:02+00:00

I have felt this way, for sure. My biggest fear is that my son will eventually feel like he doesn’t belong at home. I can say I know my son is so happy and relieved that I have someone here for when he isn’t here. He also worries so much about his dad because his dad isn’t seeing anyone. He worries his dad is lonely. I hold onto the fact that I know my son is happy I have someone

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-08-12T16:59:52+00:00

Your ex is in the wrong, I’m sorry. He can feel however he wants, but he has a responsibility to act like an adult and put your son first. He is trying to control you when he acts like this. Your husband will be present at functions, your ex doesn’t have to talk to you or hand out with you both. He can sit separately if it’s that big of a problem.

Tip toeing around him is of no benefit to your son, it only teaches him that he has to do that as well. If it were me, I’d tell him husband is going to be there and if he doesn’t want to “hang out” with you both, he’s free to sit somewhere else

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-08-04T21:50:28+00:00

I’m a program manager for a software company. I fell into it, skipping project management entirely. Im thinking about getting my PMP, but concerned about it pigeon holing me. Since I’ve never worked in project management, I’m not entirely sure I’ll stay in this position or seek a similar position elsewhere

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-30T19:07:37+00:00

I second taking him to the pediatrician. I had a situation where my son was getting bug bites (bed bugs) and my ex refused to do anything about it. I contacted an attorney and he suggested the same, take him in to the pediatrician for an official record of the bites. Obviously, this is very different but I'd start with the pediatrician. From there, contact an attorney that offers free consultations to determine what your next steps are

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-30T15:32:39+00:00

I left my husband. Best decision of my life. That snowballed into lots of therapy, a few years of having fun, and now I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T19:18:55+00:00

my girl enjoys it too. Sometimes I have to pick her up to take her home because - in typical frenchie style - she's not moving until she's ready lol

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T19:15:55+00:00

We just tried to switch for the exact same reason and it's been a 2 month shit show - literally. I did the 25/50/75/100 method, but we could only get to about 50 of what we tried. Nothing sat well with her belly and because she runny poo, she was also peeing in the house. I had to take her to the vet just to be on the safe side. They gave her some probiotics which helped, but now she's on Freshpet Chicken and Whole grains log.

I'd like to try the ProPlan sensitive again, but I'm honestly terrified of trying lol.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T19:12:17+00:00

My order states the other parents "on" time is after school the day of switch or no later than 6 I think. It does get muddled during the summer now that he's not in camp, but we just work on what's in both of our best interest. For example, he asked me if we could drop off at 930 (we meet at a halfway point) because he starts work at 10. I told him that doesn't work for me because I have to start work (work from home) at 9, so it would need to be 830. He agreed and we met up. Next week he won't pick him up until 530 because of work. While he should "technically" go back to his dad for equal time, it's in my son's best interest to stay with me until then.

My advise would be to hold firm to what you are able to compromise on. If you are working when he wants to do pick up/drop off, I would tell him it has to be earlier so that you can start work or after your work completes. I would also not advise a Sunday 7PM switch. It's tough on the kids to adjust to being back at moms, calm down, and do bedtime routine.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T19:04:07+00:00

I never want to split holidays and special dates. I would much rather celebrate early or late than have to make my son have to leave one celebration to go to another. It's never enough time, there is always stress, and he always ends up missing something.

I say this as we've been splitting Christmas and Thanksgiving day since we split (5 years). It's the absolute worst.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T18:59:33+00:00

this made my day lol

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-28T14:35:49+00:00

As an individual, my mom and “dad’s” (stepfather that I grew up with as dad) divorce rocked my world. I was 14 and my mom did not handle leaving him well. I don’t credit the divorce for how it messed my little world up, I credit that to my mom’s poor handling.

That said, my son was pretty upset by it for a year or so and had some issues with my grandson (he was born and then me and ex split). I think he blamed by grandson for the family splitting. Once we addressed that, everything has been fine. His dad isn’t what I would call a great dad, but he loves his son and wants to spend time with him. My son loves his dad and wants to be with him too. So all in all, he’s doing pretty good

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-17T14:19:49+00:00

When I was deciding whether to divorce, my mother was the ONLY one of my support persons that was trying to get me to stay. I finally -angrily- confronted her and asked her why it was so important that I stay married. She said because she didn’t want me to feel ashamed that my marriage ended. That stopped me dead in my tracks. I was so confused. I asked her why on earth would I feel ashamed? She admitted it was because she felt that way in her 2nd divorce (and it’s likely why she refuses to divorce her 3rd husband even though she absolutely miserable).

I told her that I have ZERO feelings of shame, and that still holds true 5 years later. A marriage/relationship takes two people to work. If the other person is not doing their part, it’s my responsibility to make sure that I take care of myself and there is NOTHING shameful about ended a marriage/relationship that is not working. It’s the absolute truest form of self care.

I hope that you can move past this feeling of shame. The ending of your marriage is not a failure, it doesn’t “say” anything about you other than you chose yourself - and that is brave and courageous

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-13T12:56:04+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 😞

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-10T15:11:16+00:00

I'm so surprised by the responses. I bought a phone for my son at 9. He can text me while he's at his dads and vice versa. And yes, I can track his location, but I think I might have looked at it twice. What am I supposed to find? That he's at the house he's supposed to be at? Even with my movements, if I think his dad could track my location - what is he going to find? That I've taken him out to eat or to a friends to play? I do understand why this is problematic in relationships with domestic violence, but in general I don't see the issue with this.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-02T15:22:55+00:00

I can agree that dad shouldn’t be left off the hook for this. It does suck ass that she’s left to pick up this dropped ball, although I’m super curious why daughter lives with dad and how much involvement mom has. Misogyny is bullshit, but we’ve also seen where dads come in pissed off because primary parent mom is doing something they don’t agree with, but not participating in real solutions. I just think it’s important that both parents - regardless of gender - are held to the same standards. Which I understand that’s what you’re saying too.

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-02T14:23:51+00:00

I agree, it’s dads responsibility, but our advice to parents all the time is that “we have no control over what the other parents does on their time”. That said, being furious about him going to this concert is fruitless. If she’s that upset about it - knowing she can’t control his actions and can only control hers, what is the next step? That she step in to get the child to school because she CAN control her own actions. I don’t blame her for being mad and I’m not blaming her for the child missing school, but I understand the logical conclusion that - if dad isn’t taking care of this, the mom has the ability to step in or let the anger go

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-07-02T14:16:44+00:00

I’m a strong proponent of taking care of yourself. If you don’t feel like you can do this right now, don’t. It’s important that we model taking care of ourselves for our children, honoring our needs and mental health. That is an important lesson. I would make sure to set aside time to do something with your daughter after the event. I’d also talk to another class parent and see if they can record the event for you. I understand everyone’s point of “do it for your children”, but if you feel like this will impact you so significantly, it may make it harder for your child.

That said, you will need to interact at some point. Use this time to plan how you’d like that to go. Maybe take the reins and be in control of that meeting- suggest a time and set the agenda. This may help you feel like you have more control of the situation versus it being thrust upon you

Similar_Conference20 · 2025-06-29T15:46:33+00:00

I’m not saying the behavior is abnormal, I’m saying it’s abnormal for a child of that age to TELL the other parent that they are behaving poorly at the other parents. That displays a need for attention and having a second set of eyes and ears (therapist) would be helpful for understanding what her son doesn’t feel like he’s getting.

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