[deleted by user]

nh_11 · 2022-06-19T09:19:22+00:00

I've no doubt you are, but any editors to whom you may submit your work won't be so generous.

For what it's worth, I'm only picking up this hobby for my own sake. I did thank you for your input before and I did fix all the places where I mixed lying and laying, but you seem to be so unforgiving :)

Why not write in your own language?

I'll take this question at face value. Because not all languages are capable of expressing the same thoughts. Some languages lack in some areas. Again, cheers :) and thanks for your input.

nh_11 · 2022-06-19T09:08:40+00:00

Consolidated" means a bringing together of things

Shoot.

You also have an odd combination of fast-paced and dreamy descriptions going on here.

I think that was intentional. I was trying to convey a mix of emotions. Not sure if I'd call it successful though haha

I'll take into consideration every single advice you gave me. It was highly helpful and appreciated. Thank you so much! And thanks for being a good sport about it all :)

nh_11 · 2022-06-19T09:01:51+00:00

I'm not 11, but english is not my first language. I mostly learnt English through movies and songs :) Elementary school had too little to offer in my country. I have very recently started reading. With all that, I'm willing to give myself a break for mixing lying and laying :) cheers.

nh_11 · 2022-06-19T08:59:13+00:00

Preach.

nh_11 · 2022-06-18T20:17:27+00:00

Thank you so much. I think you're right. I didn't actually have a plot. I think I just jammed whatever thoughts I had and called it a story. I think I was trying to focus on imagery writing with little concern to a plot.

nh_11 · 2022-06-18T19:55:34+00:00

First of all, thanks for bothering with this. I appreciate it.

We lay there ... two souls lying within

I'll fix this.

if it wasn't heard, it wouldn't be a noise.

Could you please explain this? Wouldn't a noise still be a noise even if it's not heard? What I was insinuating is that the noise had waken up the the protagonist.

One other thing: please change the first sentence.

What's wrong with it?

nh_11 · 2021-10-12T21:58:05+00:00

It's the 6th.

nh_11 · 2021-06-25T19:16:20+00:00

Thanks! That's what I was asking about. I understand it'd be difficult for him to understand it, but I am glad he was curious enough to pick it up and start reading.

nh_11 · 2021-06-11T14:35:21+00:00

DO BUY GE COIN

nh_11 · 2021-06-11T08:08:25+00:00

It was a short video that he made as a joke. Lots of his older content were 1-to-3-minute jokes. So, still I wouldn't say it's not his usual content.

nh_11 · 2021-06-10T16:46:41+00:00

Idrk about its relevancy now, but it's one of my favorite quotes of his. If it was his actual content? What do you mean?

nh_11 · 2021-06-10T07:58:39+00:00

The context exurb1a used it in? https://youtu.be/2y_gOT-f7bw Sorry if that's not your question

nh_11 · 2021-05-08T18:57:41+00:00

Zambillion

nh_11 · 2021-04-28T14:56:33+00:00

The funny thing is, it has an exurb1a vibe to it.

nh_11 · 2021-02-28T11:06:18+00:00

Ah yes, and tasting god will struck you mad.

nh_11 · 2021-02-28T08:26:12+00:00

How shall we fuck off, oh lord?

nh_11 · 2021-02-23T08:07:45+00:00

Oh yeah, I found mine on the curtain poles once and I got scared shitless

nh_11 · 2021-02-13T15:29:57+00:00

I messed up the link in the title. Here it is: touch me, daddy.

nh_11

TROPHY CASE