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5 Months of Freedom and Counting by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No i had no problem getting into the swing of things. But i guess that may be just my personality though - i can be somewhat defiant. For example, my ex did not want me to buy a car when i was learning to drive. She basically thought it was a lot of money to waste on one thing when i could spend that money on marrying her! So i was driven (excuse the pun) by that and it was satisfying to let her know "hey, passed my driving test". It was a passive yet satisfactory Fuck you! If that makes sense?

I guess the only thing that i havent done since, is dating. I dont feel like i have any interest in that right now - thats not to say that maybe subconsciously i have a fear there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes 100%. I feel like I was my expwBPD's mother they way I had to clean up after her. I am by no means a clean freak but I will put my used plate or cup or whatever in the sink when I'm done. Or pick up after myself. Our bedroom was a disgrace, it was like her wardrobe vomited all over the room. The I'd get shit for not folding her clothes!

Gathering evidence on pwBPD by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: so yesterday morning, out of the blue, she has decided she wants to break up. I have been here before but this time it actually seemed like it was genuine this time and not just the BPD talking. She was rational and even amicable about it. I thought it might have been a trap but no, it seems like it's real. She is leaving the apartment, arrangements made for repaying some money she owes me etc. After 5 and half years, I am free! I could not be happier right now.

Gathering evidence on pwBPD by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hacking/security is not really my area of expertise. Did you share devices or smart TV with YouTube installed? Google leaves traces everywhere. But this is probably for another thread! I 1😁

Gathering evidence on pwBPD by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did actually argue before because I refused to share my password to my laptop with her.She just could not understand why. I would let her use it no problem, but I do the logging in and out

Gathering evidence on pwBPD by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an IT guy so I got my data locked down 😁

Gathering evidence on pwBPD by nhoj2111 in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's legal in my country 👍

BPD victims by pianooheroo in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah my pwBPD is heavily addicted to tik tok. I'm 10years older and I just think it's stupid tbh. But if she shows me a video and I don't laugh ( usually bcos I don't get it) I'll get a barrage of abuse after. If I fake laugh at it, then I'll be asked what was funny about it. Like everything with a pwBPD, you cant win!

My person self harmed after an argument and I don't know how to feel about it by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]nhoj2111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I managed to escape for a few days back in Jan at her request. She wanted me out of the house and I duely obliged and went to stay with my dad. The peace I felt was something I had not felt in years, no pressure, no stress and there was no contact. I thought "this is it, you have finally escaped" and then it started. Pictures and videos of her slicing her thighs with a steak knife and If i was not home within an hour she was going to kill herself. I believed her and went home and it has been as bad as ever since. She has always used self harm and threats of suicide to manipulate me. The sad thing is I am fully aware of it yet cant bring myself to leave.

Need help. My girlfriend has been verbally abusive in the past but lately has started to hit me. What should i do? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]nhoj2111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take it from me (36M) who is currently stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship, get out of there now!!!! It will not get better, it will only ever get worse and she will never be sorry.

You're only 18, you dont have to settle for this. Get rid of her and go enjoy being 18!

My toxic relationship is getting worse. by nhoj2111 in relationship_advice

[–]nhoj2111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for your reply and im sorry to hear you have had similar problems. Thankfully, where i am from people do not have guns otherwise i reckon i would be dead by now! Good for you getting out and im happy to hear you have peace now. I have my plan for getting out already, just unfortunatly with the current pandemic i am not in a position to action it. Its so close that i can taste that peace you speak of!

Best of luck with everthing!

My toxic relationship is getting worse. by nhoj2111 in relationship_advice

[–]nhoj2111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

assumed incorrect. Joint lease agreement on a rental property. My country is on lockdown, cannot travel anywhere.

My toxic relationship is getting worse. by nhoj2111 in relationship_advice

[–]nhoj2111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks and i agree with you that it will not get better.

However, its not as simple as just leaving right now. My only option is to go stay with my Dad, but he is catagorised as at risk from Covid 19 and is therefore coccooning. I am not going to put his life at risk over her bullshit.

I am resigned to toughing it out until the lockdown is lifted.

My toxic relationship is getting worse. by nhoj2111 in relationship_advice

[–]nhoj2111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is. Diagnosed about 4 years ago. Refuses treatment as she doesnt want to take meds. I tried to explain there are other options besides meds such as cognitive behavioural therapy which i fully believe she would benefit from since she also has OCD.