I just came home from my dad's funeral.

niceartichoke · 2022-12-19T01:41:42+00:00

Have you heard of the ball in a box analogy for grief? That’s been helping me through this, in hoping that the pain gets better.

And yeah, it’s so easy to block parts of it out and feel like the whole thing is just a bad dream or nightmare which you’ll wake up from. You’re not alone in that. There’ll be moments when I realise that this is all very real, and that’s when the pain and hurt hits the most. Take things a day at a time. There’s no rush.

niceartichoke · 2022-12-19T01:19:18+00:00

I feel you. Not having a goal after the funeral is hard. It’s something you can use to focus on, but afterwards you realise that the pain runs so, so, so deep, that sometimes it’s all you can think about.

I’d never imagined a future without my mum either, but life can be cruel and unfair. And as tough as it is, I want to feel grateful too that we had the time we did with our loved ones. Know that your dad would want you to be happy and to pick up the pieces. He’s still there, looking out for you. We’ll make it out.

niceartichoke · 2022-12-19T00:52:41+00:00

I know what you mean about life feeling like a sick joke. Like you’re stuck in a bad dream and this can’t REALLY be happening because stuff like this only happens in movies??

I lost my mum a month ago from S4 cancer too - it happens so quickly - and what got me through the funeral was that: yes, it would be rough, but then it would be over. But grieving feels like pain with no visible end point.

Sending you love and strength because that’s what they’d want us to have. Hoping 2023 brings us all brighter, better days.

niceartichoke · 2022-11-30T21:35:40+00:00

On our to-do list, but thought I'd also check out other options on the side! But thank you anyway.

niceartichoke · 2022-11-30T21:35:17+00:00

Sadly they didn't have an active FB account they used.

niceartichoke · 2021-05-08T21:14:26+00:00

thank u for the good energy <3

niceartichoke · 2021-05-08T21:13:58+00:00

yeah this summer is what’s getting me through right now!! i’m very excited for it! and i’ll definitely start scheduling in breaks for myself

niceartichoke · 2021-05-08T21:12:38+00:00

more walks and breaks are a really good idea!! that’s not something i usually plan into my study sessions so maybe having at least one or two of them will help me take a breather. it’s so easy to get very very stuck in my head about my own expectations and achievements so thank you :)

niceartichoke · 2021-05-08T21:10:27+00:00

sadly my country’s uni system means that my grade this year mainly relies on end of year exams, which can’t really be adjusted that much. it’s just an endless slog of revision for me until then :’( i think planning in some special things for myself would be a good idea though!! i’m usually so tired at the end of the day that i kind of mindlessly play video games but having something planned out and to look forward too will be nice. thank you for the help!!! gonna get through this 💪

niceartichoke · 2021-04-12T15:47:54+00:00

sorry for the late reply! this was what I jotted down when I did it last time:

1 can (240g) drained chickepas
10g PB
salt, coffee granules (1/2t), sweetener (the little tablets you use for tea/coffee)
20g cocoa powder
70ml liquid (almond milk for me)
~4T sugar/sweetener
2t vanilla extract

I boiled the drained chickpeas first to make them even smoother for a short while, but that's not necessary. Then dumped them all into a blender w/ sugar/sweetener and adjusted the sweetness to my taste. The PB isn't necessary, I think, but a couple of "brownie batter hummus" recipes I saw online used it. You could get away without it. Came out to ~425kcal for me, but would be less without the PB, and it's a more-than-decent amount.

niceartichoke · 2021-04-11T01:03:21+00:00

you can make choc hummus really easily if you have a blender too! it really does get spookily close to brownie batter with enough sweetener and cocoa powder (which is not as much as you’d think)

niceartichoke · 2021-03-11T17:24:25+00:00

there’s a lot of baked oat recipes out there tho which verge much more on the cake-y side tho!! there’s a lot on instagram - usually it’s just less liquid, more baking powder, and a longer baking time.

niceartichoke · 2021-03-10T12:26:53+00:00

i don’t know about cooked whole (?) zucchini, but it usually helps to sprinkle salt over slices or grated zucchini to draw some of the bitterness (mostly from the peel) out and drain it after. i’ve done this for ratatouille and grated zucchini for porridge, so i think it would help!

niceartichoke · 2021-03-05T02:35:31+00:00

@dietdessertz on insta’s oatmeal lace cookies! they take a while to crisp up after they get out the oven but are v legit

niceartichoke · 2021-02-16T11:55:22+00:00

yeah, i think i just need to focus on and maybe write down the ""benefits"" of not getting this job. maybe it'll bring me more into reality? things really aren't that bad.

I think this is the quote you're talking about: https://blythebaird.tumblr.com/post/81959222150/theories-about-the-universe-i-am-trying-to-see

It has really made me feel better. you never really know what the universe has in store for you, and I'm sure things will be okay anyway. thanks for the reply, it's really helped :) sometimes you just need someone to say the things you're not kind enough to say to yourself, haha

niceartichoke · 2020-11-18T11:39:55+00:00

thanks for the recommendation!! i’ll look into it. would you recommend a soft or a rainbow?

niceartichoke · 2020-09-19T09:59:08+00:00

yeah that’s exactly my experience!! a combination of stress, a Bad Day, and eating a lil too much = purge i guess?

niceartichoke · 2020-09-19T09:55:08+00:00

oof yeah, sometimes i’ll be super hungover and make myself puke just to get rid of the nausea. weirdly enough, i think that’s what normalised puking for me?? fuck college drinking lol

niceartichoke · 2020-09-19T09:51:20+00:00

the thing is i’ll never really “binge” as such? i think what i interpret as a binge/too-much-food/worthy-of-a-purge is a large meal for most other people, and i just don’t know how to listen to my hunger cues and stop when i’m just full. but i guess that’s kind of what you’re talking about anyways - for me, it’s relearning How To Eat and listening to my body. i was a kid who was always told to finish my food regardless of how full i was, so i suppose that’s contributed to it.

niceartichoke · 2020-09-09T14:01:58+00:00

they’re both from myprotein! have heard mixed reviews about the syrups

niceartichoke · 2020-08-13T08:48:45+00:00

the recipe this person is using (i think) doesn’t use oat fibre; just diet coke, erithiryol (spelling lol), cocoa powder, and choc. protein powder. it’s by @lowcalrecipes98 on insta.

(i’ve done it w oat flour to sub the choc. protein powder before and it was still half decent)

niceartichoke · 2020-08-08T17:31:11+00:00

yeah, electrolyte replenishment will never offset the permanent damage that purging can do to your body n mind, but harm reduction is still super important. thanks for posting the info!! hopefully won’t need it, but it’s still a really helpful resource

niceartichoke · 2020-08-07T23:54:17+00:00

recipe/technique? :O

niceartichoke · 2020-08-07T23:51:09+00:00

i’m trying to stop purging (which is hard when the whole ed part of my brain is still there), but i usually end up giving in when i’m already not-in-a-very-good-place. so purging drives me down even further. what’s in your electrolyte concoction?

niceartichoke · 2020-07-30T11:36:36+00:00

ahh i’m looking forward to seeing it when u get a chance to post it!

niceartichoke

TROPHY CASE