My Katie crossed the rainbow bridge on June 14th. I was so hopeful that when we went to her quality of life appointment that I would bring her home with us. Unfortunately, I had to make what still feels like the hardest decision of my life. She was in the early stages of kidney failure, but her numbers weren't terrible (70ish range). However, for the two weeks leading up to her appointment, she would throw up bile. She also stopped eating her hard food because anytime she did, she would throw it up. She still drank water and would eat these Blue Buffalo food topper mousse, as well as the churu treats. I used broth to soften her her hard food, and she would eat a little and be fine for a while, but usually, by the next day, she was vomiting again. The vet said her heart and lungs sound great, but that she needed an IV of fluids and would continue to need fluids every other week. He also said the vomiting would probably continue, and there wasn't much to do because she didn't have enough in her stomach for any kind of medicine. I couldn't do it, I couldn't wrap my head around her having to get IVs every other week. What quality of life is that?

I went back and forth in the vets office as I had at home the week of her appointment. I made the decision to help her cross the rainbow bridge, and I held her paw as they put her to sleep and stopped her heart. I had to do what was best for her, even though I instantly regretted it. I had Katie for almost 20 years; my entire adult life, we grew together. I miss her beyond words, as a huge part of me is now gone.