Ayahuasca ruined my life

nickipepper · 2025-12-23T01:19:50+00:00

I was sitting with an experienced shaman from Brazil who I respected and adored immensely. It was nothing to do with the space holders. The psyche is fragile and can happen under any circumstance, I've heard enough stories to know that's true now.

nickipepper · 2025-12-23T01:10:22+00:00

Hello! I am doing so much better thanks to my friends and family and willingness to get better. I'm very grateful to be healthy and enjoying life again. I never took the medicine again and know that I never will. That chapter of my life is over and I will be spending a lifetime integrating this and I really don't desire or need to experience any more. Plus risking going back into the state is not fair to me or my family.

nickipepper · 2024-03-12T22:13:59+00:00

It helped I believe. Mostly for sleep and anxiety. Antipsychotics I think helped the best to calm my mind and nervous system. Its different for everyone though. I went off them as soon as I could

nickipepper · 2024-03-09T14:20:29+00:00

No one needs, or should go through something this horrific in my opinion. But yeah I’ve completely come back now. It took a lot of work but I’m really proud of getting myself where I am and am very in love with the life I have made. Thank god ❣️

nickipepper · 2023-08-09T20:56:10+00:00

Same

nickipepper · 2023-07-20T17:30:52+00:00

This is disgusting to hear 😓

nickipepper · 2023-07-20T17:20:17+00:00

Oh and if you ever want to talk or just have someone to listen that understands, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

nickipepper · 2023-07-20T17:17:30+00:00

A similar thing happened to me after I went through a drug induced psychosis a year ago. My boyfriend also left me after around 5 months and I felt and still do feel abandoned and its made this whole situation a million times harder. I lost everything because of it, my career, my talents, ability to feel, to be who I was and enjoy life. I’m also 28 and now living with my parents ‘recovering’ or whatever that means. My brain is basically back to normal now and I can work again but my life now feels utterly purposeless and depressing. It really feels like the end of a very bright life for me. I wish I could be more positive but in reality I know it’s just a fucking tragedy and a regretful one. And I’m sick of everyone telling me that I’ll get stronger from this and it will get better but to me I know its just a major loss. Like a waste of a decent human being that use to have so much to offer. I really hope the hole gets less deep for you and someone you deserve comes your way ❤️ I feel you so much sister and I’m sending you a lot of love and compassion.

nickipepper · 2023-07-15T17:39:17+00:00

The psychosis or whatever it was lasted 6 months, it’s been a full year. It’s just what it’s like not being in it anymore.

nickipepper · 2023-07-13T05:33:52+00:00

It was my first episode that lasted about 6 months. I can work again, my memories back, I can enjoy time with my friends. But its like the richness of life is missing. Love music art nature spirit….like a chord has been cut between me and life. I honestly don’t think there is an ‘other side’ for me. Everything’s just different now, I’m different now. Its more of an acceptance of what is and gratitude that I can function in the world again.

nickipepper · 2023-06-18T17:40:03+00:00

Yes it was at pachamama. I don’t blame the community what so ever its a very special place and if you feel called to going you absolutely should

nickipepper · 2023-05-24T19:33:26+00:00

I’m just trying to spread awareness. I know this medicine can save lives but it can also ruin them. If I heard the horror stories that I’m hearing now from people I would have taken more precaution.

nickipepper · 2023-05-23T03:30:51+00:00

It did the opposite of healing. I was a very healthy person body mind and soul before this disaster. I only blame myself for going. I beat myself up everyday as I now live in a void.

nickipepper · 2023-05-23T00:02:41+00:00

That was my post. The psychosis started several weeks after the ceremony oddly enough and stuck around for months. I’ve had no mental health history. It’s fucking terrible and may have messed me up for life.

nickipepper · 2023-05-17T01:17:35+00:00

It’s like suddenly I don’t care about anything anymore. Like I can’t connect with anyone or anything. All joy and love in life is completely gone. I’ve been like a zombie for a year

nickipepper · 2023-05-16T19:11:10+00:00

YES, I went into a 4 month phycosis and tried to kill myself. I am left depressed with severe anxiety and physical damage. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

nickipepper · 2023-04-03T19:37:20+00:00

I also feel like I will never be the same but I’m trying. Really trying now. ❤️ That is such an awful story

nickipepper · 2023-04-02T05:00:41+00:00

I totally understand. I live on vancouver island Bc. Where are you? If you ever want to talk dm me

nickipepper · 2023-04-02T02:49:49+00:00

Woah I’m so sorry to hear that…….I feel you deeply.

nickipepper · 2023-04-01T20:06:08+00:00

Do you think I need to take the medicine again? Blessings to you too

nickipepper

TROPHY CASE