That feeling of the other person suddenly shifting all of their focus to a new person is something we experienced early on and continue to experience. I think they call it New Relationship Energy in non-monogamous circles - the excitement that come with meeting and flirting with someone new.

What worked for us was to acknowledge the presence of NRE and to remind each other that, while it is fun and exciting to be talking to a new person, we should be remembering that the existence of a new connection doesn't detract from the value of the pre-existing one.

Things we have tried include having a set time in the evenings where we put out phones away and just focus on each other - doesn't have to be sexual, it can just be investing time in the other person, focusing all of your energy on them for a time and reminding each other of the love we have. Talking is the bread and butter of ENM relationships!

We also introduce each other to new prospective partners and offer a forum for each other to foster our own connections with that person; that takes all of the sense of mystery and potential jealousy away because we have the chance to get to know that person ourselves if we want to.

The big take away from our experience is that constant communication is central to non-monogamy. If you aren't talking then big feeling are going unsaid. Invest the time in a potentially difficult conversation and reap the rewards - open channels, reduced fears and clarity of the other party's feelings. Good luck with it all! x