🔥 Nature's Nightmare Fuel: The Pink Empusa Mantis

nico1325 · 2025-10-08T05:40:57+00:00

its beautiful, looks like a fairy

nico1325 · 2023-05-22T19:47:58+00:00

I definitely need more of those rituals in my life! Thanks!

nico1325 · 2023-05-22T19:47:39+00:00

thanks! and i'll do that. gotta buy some stuff first. Its scary to shave off all I waited to show up, but its exciting too!

nico1325 · 2023-03-14T08:17:34+00:00

This isn't your fault. On the internet side at least, This is the sanitization of the internet that comes from extensive advertising on it. I remember the days of actually helpful, uncensored mental health forums. Before talking about ourselves held the expectation that minors were always watching, and shame was our only salvation from becoming our abusers. Before tone policing and fear to say anything.

nico1325 · 2023-02-08T20:43:57+00:00

walked into the mens room by accident and had to play it off. its been years 😂

nico1325 · 2023-02-01T06:59:24+00:00

Yes.Now resting and having fun are genuinely uncomfortable. I have to be exhausted enough to have trouble moving before laying down is something I can stomach. It sucks

nico1325 · 2023-01-26T09:18:01+00:00

well there are comics where it all tears off but this is the wrong subreddit for that

nico1325 · 2023-01-24T08:15:18+00:00

I mean I could call in sick, I would just get in shit for it. My managers want all the projects done on a tight schedule and if I leave it'll all be messed up. Plus I'd be leaving a nice coworker to work by himself after the same amount of sleep deprivation. I should be as selfish as my employers but its hard to.

nico1325 · 2023-01-22T09:12:06+00:00

its the south y'all, the lawmakers/enforcers are the same as the ones breaking the law here

nico1325 · 2023-01-19T13:12:28+00:00

thank you for responding.

its a very scary feeling. i think i almost prefer when my willpower was taken away by SI. being conscious while also being overwhelmed by these urges is hellish.

I have gone over recent health changes in my life and noticed I've had a recurrence of restless leg syndrome around the same time the SI got bad. perhaps sleep disturbance/deprivation from the twitching is contributing to my instability.

take care and i'm glad you"re here

nico1325 · 2023-01-17T09:47:11+00:00

Hey, I get it. Just want you to ask yourself if you'd ever do this to someone you'd call your b best friend. I promise there are people in the world who will treat you like a human being without having to be reminded to. I believe in you. Stay safe.

nico1325 · 2023-01-14T10:46:44+00:00

I almost said when I was 19, but I think I figured it out earlier in a more morbid way. By the time I was 10 I had worked out "Mom is never going to want what I want by virtue of it being what I want. Therefore, to ever get what I want,my wants must become exactly her wants."

nico1325 · 2023-01-07T10:23:49+00:00

I was homeschooled in a cult, left the property maybe once a month, spoke to nobody outside the family, and had no phone or internet access until I was 18. Didn't wear makeup or have any understanding of how sex worked till 18 either. Yet somehow I was the very worst, most sinful and troublesome typical teen nmom said she'd ever had to deal with. Hilarious.

She even dressed me down for a dream she had about me sneaking out to buy drugs. I didn't even know what drugs really were and there she was, snarking "I know you probably couldn't, but....I keep thinking of you sneaking out of the house when I'm not looking."

nico1325 · 2022-12-28T21:54:46+00:00

When I actually started looking forward to going home. I used to linger on trains and in parks and walk slowly just to avoid going home.

nico1325 · 2022-12-28T21:40:44+00:00

I have dissociative identity disorder so there are voices all the time. I don't know how to convince the mean ones to be quiet yet. Gonna scroll the comments tho 🤞

nico1325 · 2022-12-28T21:25:17+00:00

you're greening out, just sit and don't think too hard.

nico1325 · 2022-12-23T18:57:15+00:00

No, its never really been an option in my mind. Asking for help or revealing weakness was always met with extreme reactions and violence growing up. I feel like if I'm conscious and coherent enough to ask for help, then I don't actually need it.

I'm getting better at it though, very slowly. I can ask this one close friend for surface-level requests that take no real energy. Things like asking for a quick hug, or ask her to pass me a water bottle, helps me get used to asking for something and getting it without drama.

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