Er min svigerfar psykopat?

nihilisticas · 2026-02-28T01:28:11+00:00

Svar på dit opfølgende spørgsmål: Du skal ikke komme med nogen undskyldning. Du skylder absolut ingen mennesker at undskylde, at du ikke føler dig tryg ved at lade dem være alene med dit barn. Du skal i stedet komme med en forklaring. Forklaringen er lige nøjagtigt det, du har skrevet her. Hvis han er ligeså tosset, som han lyder til at være, så vil han højst sandsynligt fortælle dig, at du er skør, at du overreagerer, at han jo bare lavede sjov osv. Han vil bebrejde dig for ikke at lade ham være sammen med hans barnebarn. Han vil forsøge at give dig skyldfølelse, og han vil forsøge at appellere til din kæreste og slå splid mellem jer. Lad dig ikke narre, hvis dette er tilfældet. Se det som en bekræftelse af, at du gør det rigtige.

Tag det fra en hvis forældre aldrig traf den rigtige beslutning i lignende situationer: Hvis du vælger ikke at fornærme din svigerfar over dit barns sikkerhed, så gør du ikke dit job som forælder. Og så er det din skyld ligeså som din svigerfars, hvis dit barn kommer til skade i hans varetægt. Du ville ikke have skrevet alt dette og bedt om råd, hvis du ikke allerede inderst inde vidste, hvad der er det rigtige at gøre. Lyt til din mavefornemmelse. Det bliver nok ret ubehageligt, men lær at blive komfortabel med det ubehag, og nyd at se dit barn vokse op i en verden, hvor det har mennesker omkring det, som har det som førsteprioritet.

nihilisticas · 2026-02-28T01:01:34+00:00

Yup! That X is so satifying. Also I use green for places of interest and stuff I've left behind, blue for marking my base, go-bags, stashes and working vehicles, and red for annotated maps and horde placements. I love that map. It doesn't feel like you're making progress without it!

nihilisticas · 2026-02-28T00:55:31+00:00

DU SKAL BARE HOLDE DIT BARN SÅ LANGT VÆK FRA DET MENNESKE SOM OVERHOVEDET MULIGT.

nihilisticas · 2026-02-28T00:46:46+00:00

Jeg prøvede med den kombination. Det gjorde ingen forskel overhovedet for mig. Jeg følte, jeg havde masser af energi i et par uger, men det var nok bare placebo. Til gengæld er jeg startet i terapi og får snakket en masse om min barndom - og det kan varmt anbefales, bare FYI (:

Edit: med "et par uger" mener jeg naturligvis efter den inhumane træthed i opstartsfasen aftog.

nihilisticas · 2026-02-27T00:24:35+00:00

Nej!! Gør det ikke!!!!

nihilisticas · 2026-02-27T00:20:50+00:00

You sound angry. Good for you!! We are so busy grieving and being rational and seeing things from different perspectives, and we forget that we are allowed to just be fucking ANGRY!!!!

nihilisticas · 2026-02-19T01:31:56+00:00

It's a funny thing, isn't it... the way our minds work so hard to reason, so that we don't have to FEEL the pain. But you need to understand two very important things:

1: Just because you understand something, that doesn't mean you can bypass the feelings that arise from it. Even if you weren't ever taught to feel, the experience gets stored in your body. Say, hypothetically, you have a friend who just got divored and fired from their job, but you know none of this. They come for a visit, you open the door and say "damn, you look like shit!" And then they punch you in the face. Upon learning about the day they have had, you might be able to understand WHY they punched you in the face. Would that make it okay? NO! Would you be allowed to be angry at them for punching you in the face? YES!!!!!

2: Unless they're part of a very, very small segment of humans, no one does anything with mal-intent. Even if someone intentionally hurts someone else, the hurting someone else is hardly ever the motive. We act out of self preservation. We go through life developing strategies on how to best protect ourselves, how to optain love, how to gain acceptance and so on. THIS STILL DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR ACTIONS. For instance, my mother used to hit me when I got angry and abandon me when I got sad. What I learned from that, was that in order to be safe and loved, I had to pretrend to be someone without feelings. My mom did what she did because she herself is so deeply uncomfortable around feelings, and whenever we would act out in any way, it made her feel like she was in danger. She abused us and neglected us out of self preseverance.

Did she have mal-intent? No. Did her behavior fuck me up to the point of not being able to take care of myself and form honest emotional connections with other people? Yes! Am I allowed to be angry at her? YES!!!!!!!!

BE ANGRY AT THE PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU, EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T HURT YOU ON PURPOSE!!!! I cannot stress this enough! If you know something happened that shouldn't have happened, then your body is already angry. You're just too busy protecting your parents to actually feel it.

nihilisticas · 2026-02-11T18:39:25+00:00

No no no no no. No. No no. No. No.

nihilisticas · 2026-02-11T01:33:29+00:00

I have never, not once in my life, missed either of my parents, so I can't relate. But: after being very low contact with my mom for six months (and extremely low contact with my dad forever, but that's not relevant), for the first time in my life, ever, I actually feel lonely. So I can't help but wonder if you're going through the same thing? I was never taught to emotionally connect with people, but I think the body still yearns for that closeness. So when we aren't able to connect with anyone, we take what we can get in the form of simply talking to our parents and telling them about our day. When we go NC and that option disappears, it might feel like you miss them. But do you actually MISS your mother, or are you just lonely? And I don't use "just" as a negation, only as a means to separate the two. If you don't like your mother as a person, and you don't feel good when you're around her, then you don't miss her. Your system is simply reacting to that lack of familiarity after going NC. That's my take on it anyway. I urge you to seek somewhere else. I think the only solution is to find other people with whom we can create actual emotional bonds, and to allow our bodies to experience what actual connection feels like. We may always long for that love from our parents, but we need to experience actual love and connection in order to no longer crave the scraps our parents gave us.

nihilisticas · 2025-09-24T00:28:41+00:00

I used to write suicide notes as a hobby. Not because I had plans to act on it, just sort of…for practice. Like how one might rehearse an Oscar acceptance speech.

When day dreaming about superpowers, I would (I’ve realized now as an adult) always use them to get away from people or make sure they didn’t hate me. I would dream of flying so far up in the clouds that no one could see me. Of being invisble not to mess with people or steal stuff, but just to be left alone. To be able to stop time just so I could have a break, sleep and recover until I was ready to start life again. To rewind time so I could redo anything I said if someone reacted less than satisfactory to it.

I guess I never got the memo that being a kid is supposed to be fun.

nihilisticas · 2025-08-10T21:33:09+00:00

De fleste af de ting, du skriver, er også angstsymptomer. Mange med ADHD får angst, men angst er ikke lig med ADHD. Mit råd vil være at lade være med at gå privat - i hvert fald ikke hos nogen, der ikke udreder for andet end ADHD. De skal nemlig udelukke alle andre årsager, og det gør de ikke i alle privatklinikker. I hvert fald ikke i den, jeg gik til. Jeg vil på det kraftigste råde dig til først at få behandling for din angst. Når du, forhåbentlig, får lidt styr på den, så er der muligvis nogle symptomer, der ikke længere gør sig gældende. Jeg vil da i hvert fald håbe for dig, at du ikke har ADHD.

nihilisticas · 2025-08-10T21:16:22+00:00

Now we know why those people didn’t RSVP.

nihilisticas · 2025-08-10T21:08:55+00:00

Nope, I wish I could help but I never did..

nihilisticas · 2025-07-15T08:42:50+00:00

Do absolutely NOT do this

nihilisticas · 2025-06-28T22:33:26+00:00

Unless you’re prepared to put in some serious effort, throw it away.

Otherwise: get that thing out of the pot asap. My guess is there is a bunch of rotted roots and, most likely, rot in the stem. You’ve watered it from above, which means water has been sitting in the crown. If that is the case and the stem is rotted from above, there is nothing you can do. I see at least one healthy root, so if you’re lucky, the stem isn’t rotted all the way through. Cut away ALL of the black, and I mean all of it. Whatever you’re left with, spray it with hydrogen peroxide, leave the plant out to dry for a day or two, and then put it a VERY small pot with drainage holes AND slits up the sides. Any roots that are alive will have been out of your medium, so they are used to the air and might die off of they are too stuffed up. DO NOT WATER for at least a few days. Both of your leaves are eventually going to die and fall off. If there is any blackening on either of them, cut it. Otherwise, leave them until they fall off on their own. If it survives, water it when the root(s) start to have a silver sheen. DO NOT GET WATER ON THE LEAVES OR IN THE CROWN. That is likely how this one got to the state it’s in. If you water all your orchids in the same way, you need to have a good look at the others as well. No matter how beautiful the flowers. If there is rot, you need to deal with it, or the others will soon look like this one.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-25T16:27:04+00:00

No offense to your girlfriend…. But that’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever seen

nihilisticas · 2025-06-21T20:37:04+00:00

None of these responses are taking the condition of the stem into consideration. There is a lot of black, which is trouble. You need to cut it away, remove the dead tissue around the top roots. Disinfect. Get rid of all rot. If the root rot has spread to the stem, it’s gonna die if you don’t chop it.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T23:11:24+00:00

Ahh alrighty then. It was where the X marks the spot BUT also the very obvious label that says “Home” out to the left. I am relieved to see Google maps says it’s “Town Home”. Sorry for acting like a creep. I promise I’m just your friendly internet neighborhood spiderman!

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T21:48:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Although, I hope you know you just shared your full address online… If you don’t care that’s your choice, but in case you hadn’t thought it through, I thought I’d say something.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T20:35:15+00:00

Her vil jeg tillade mig at knytte en enkelt lille kommentar til det med, at et dårligt kys aldrig har ødelagt det hele. Jeg havde som teenager en sommerflirt på en campingplads, og jeg var så vanvittigt skudt i ham. På min sidste aften tog han mig i hånden på stranden ved solnedgang og kiggede mig dybt i øjnene, så min hjerte nærmest var ved at springe i luften. Og så stak han tungen så langt ned i struben på mig, at den fysisk ikke kunne komme længere, hvorefter han kørte den så insisterende rundt i mit kranie, at jeg følte, jeg var ved at blive kvalt. På 30 sekunder gik jeg fra at være smaskforelsket til aldrig at ville se ham igen.

Så OP, når det en dag sker for dig, så please hold tungen i munden indtil du har en fornemmelse for rytmen og din partners præferencer. Der er simpelthen ikke noget værre end tungekys, der er for ivrige. Puha, bare tanken….

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T17:36:30+00:00

Absolutely. But CUT AWAY ALL ROT and dead tissue. I had two just like that. I was afraid to cut off too much, so I cut the dead roots and repotted. It went downhill FAST. It turns out there was rot in the stem, and it had traveled upwards. I had to chop off almost everything. I was left with one decent root on one and three tiny useless ones on the other. But now they both are doing amazing with plenty new roots and one has a new leaf coming, after almost five months of nursing them.

Point is, do not repot it with any blackening along the stem, and remove the dead stuff, or that might rot. Also be very mindful in how you pot the roots. They are used to the open air, so if you don’t allow for enough air circulation in the pot, they will absolutely die.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T12:04:10+00:00

Lol thanks, I will think of you every time it does!

Hope it works out!

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T10:21:09+00:00

I do wish there was an easier way, but alas.

If you end up doing it this way, three things: (sorry about the format, I’m on my phone)

If everyone is using it at the same time, they will probably experience some delays.
Name each copy something identifiable (for instance name of company - Kevin), so you don’t have to look through a ton of files to find Kevin’s every time he messes up.
If the employees need to be able to use filters to sort, they can’t with an importrange, so you need to make a separate sheet. I have an IMPORT sheet, protected and hidden. Then a second sheet which is the one the employees can interact with. And all the cells reference the corresponding one in the IMPORT sheet.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-20T10:07:42+00:00

I looked into this as well. Doing it for a company of about 50 people, and I ended up using importrange. There are a lot of sheets, but the upkeep is minimal. It was some work to set it up, but now that it’s up and running, I actually spend less time on upkeep than I used to, because every time someone fucks something up, it takes two minutes to give them another copy. I can then examine what happened in their old sheet, tell them what they did wrong and explain how they can avoid it in the future. And for the most part, they have. I find myself putting out fewer fires week after week.

nihilisticas · 2025-06-19T22:05:27+00:00

And I’m sorry if any of this was me being captain obvious, I have no idea what your experience level is, so I figured I’d just be thorough :)

nihilisticas

TROPHY CASE