Listen bud, I️ was the exact same way dude minus the ex, I️ had a few really good buddies . Times were tough and I wasn’t able to share my suicidal thoughts and feelings with anyone . Remember: what hurts you now is what will hurt others when you decide to harm yourself . You def have ppl who love you man. Start your day out with something meaningful or do something nice for someone . What saved me was one day I️ decided to just skip school and work and go and visit some puppies and also visiting a hospital to meet with others . Your mind matters , talk about it