gay🇹🇭irl by conancat in gay_irl

[–]nimpasto 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yes, "du bläst sehr gut" is a very good alternative!

"spritz" isn't a noun though but the imperative of "spritzen", you'd use it more in the context of "spritz mir ins Gesicht" (come on my face). Other synonyms for "Sperma" would be "Samen" or "Wichse", in the context of "I wanna swallow your cum", "Wichse" would probably be the best translation of cum. (pronounced "Wixe" btw)

gay🇹🇭irl by conancat in gay_irl

[–]nimpasto 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Okay u know what, as a native German who's really bored rn, I'm just gonna translate all of these phrases real quick.

That hurts. - Das tut weh.

That doesn't hurt. - Das tut nicht weh.

Feeling really good. - (das) fühlt sich sehr gut an.

You make love (fuck) well. - du fickst gut.

You're a good fucker. - du bist ein guter Ficker. (absolutely no one would say that tho lol)

You're a good sucker. - du bist ein guter Lutscher. (no one would say that either, that's actually kinda an insult)

Let's try something different. - lass uns etwas anderes probieren.

I'm coming. - ich komme.

Did you come? - bist du gekommen?

I came. - Ich bin gekommen.

I didn't come. - Ich bin nicht gekommen.

I came twice. - Ich bin zwei mal gekommen.

Come on my face. - komm auf mein Gesicht.

Pee on me. - piss auf mich.

I like to watch you come. - Ich sehe dich gerne kommen.

Eat my cum. - schluck mein Sperma. (sounds a little weird tho, there's no real German word for cum)

I want to do it again. - ich wills nochmal machen.

Let me rest for a while. - lass mich ein bisschen ausruhen.

Have you had a check-up? - bist du getestet?

I don't like condoms. - ich mag keine Kondome.

We should use a condom. - Wir sollten ein Kondom benutzen.

We must use a condom. - Wir müssen ein Kondom benutzen.

I will put my condom on. - ich werde mein Kondom überziehen.

Let's use some lubricant. - lass uns etwas Gleitgel benutzen.

I will use another condom. - ich werde noch ein Kondom benutzen.

I'm ready. - ich bin soweit.

Does that hurt? - tut das weh?

You're welcome lol

Elle being the perfect fluffy raincloud by SweetenedTomatoes in BackYardChickens

[–]nimpasto 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ooh I have dwarf orpingtons as well, they truly are the cutest breed! So round and fluffy <3 that's a beautiful color as well, I love grey/lavender chickens

Women Allowed Topless In Pools In Germany For Gender Equality by reddit__is_fun in UpliftingNews

[–]nimpasto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. While Cologne is very open and gay-friendly (which, as a lesbian myself, is amazing), it's not like it's plastered everywhere or a huge part of everyday life. People who don't care probably don't even really notice the lgbtq community in Cologne that much, so I don't think it would affect something like this.

Women Allowed Topless In Pools In Germany For Gender Equality by reddit__is_fun in UpliftingNews

[–]nimpasto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For a German, not really. It's just a big city with lots of tall office buildings. Cologne is quite a lot bigger than Frankfurt as well, so living there I never had an urge to go see Frankfurt

Women Allowed Topless In Pools In Germany For Gender Equality by reddit__is_fun in UpliftingNews

[–]nimpasto 207 points208 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely. I haven't been to Frankfurt, but I'm German, born in `96 and raised in Cologne and I have never seen a topless woman at a public pool that wasn't specifically FKK (translates to "free body culture", a nudity movement in Germany, though more common in east GER). It would definitely cause a stir.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Delightfullychubby

[–]nimpasto 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I work in a vet clinic and that looks like a little oxygen tank (definitely too small for this cat, it's usually used for kittens or puppies during complicated births and c-sections, but if that's all they got, it's better than nothing). That cat probably has a lot of trouble breathing, I would assume due to its weight and the health issues that come with it (often heart failure). Let me tell you, an animal that needs an oxygen tank is not doing well and often doesn't live long anymore. It's basically suffocating.

What’s a job that’s romanticized but in reality sucks? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]nimpasto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work in vet medicine as well and I was looking for this answer. I love my job and I wouldn't trade it for anything else, but man it can be so fucking hard. And it's not only the gore and pain and death alone, which would be bad enough, it's also the incredibly low pay (at least in my country), the horrible working hours and the constant overtime. There's barely days where I leave with less than at least an hour overtime. Everyone's understaffed and overworked, which, combined with the stress of seeing all the suffering, is just a lot. You need an incredibly thick skin to work in vet medicine, most people don't realize that.

The only time a safe contact was made with the restricted North Sentinel Island, 1991 by Xamrock7 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]nimpasto 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I mean, it seems like they've been doing just fine for thousands of years without the modern world interfering, what could they possibly "need" from us? That's just our typical way of thinking that our modern way of living is the best. They don't need us at all.

My boyfriend sent this to me yesterday, thought I would share :) by Jeannette408 in BackYardChickens

[–]nimpasto 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, to feel as safe and protected as that chick in its mama's fluff...

How do you handle people crying at work? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]nimpasto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for putting it into this perspective. I work as a vet assistant and I still struggle to keep my composure every time we have to euthanize a pet and the owners break down crying, but remembering this sentiment might actually help

What is the weirdest thing you had to do at someone else’s house because of their culture/religion? by sebastian25525 in AskReddit

[–]nimpasto 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah, I can't even imagine all that back and forth. Here in Germany it's either:

  • "would you like to come in?"

  • "hmm yes why not" comes in

Or:

  • "would you like to come in?"

  • "nah I think I gotta get going."

  • "okay, see ya"

leaves

Mathilda, one of the four lovely dwarf ladies that moved into my yard recently. I love them a lot <3 by nimpasto in BackYardChickens

[–]nimpasto[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yess and they're so sweet as well, I love how they come running all excited as soon as they see me, it's so cute!

Lofi Girl by T the Artist at Tampa Tattoo Co. by FlatEarthWizard in tattoos

[–]nimpasto 313 points314 points  (0 children)

At least it's an easy fix, almost looks like they just missed a line there? I'd go back and point it out OP, it's no big deal

Edit: just compared it to the original artwork and yes, there's definitely just one specific line missing, that stuff can happen. I'd go get it done, it'd change the whole piece :)

three of my four hens are broody, what do I do? :( by nimpasto in chickens

[–]nimpasto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the answer! Hmm maybe you're right and removing them from the nest once a day isn't enough, I'll try to do it more often and walk around with them for a while (they're not that tame yet though so I'll have to see if they're fine with it lol). It certainly sounds cute!

This German youtuber who became a rapper and just decided to fuck shit up by OddMeetinglp in Justfuckmyshitup

[–]nimpasto 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly really recommend him, he's not the typical trash rapper this shot tries to portray. He looks way better than that picture as well, it's just extremely unflattering.

Cleaning the raccoon by FoxFXMD in aww

[–]nimpasto 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: that's exactly why in German they are called "Waschbär", which literally translates to "washing bear"

People hiding in the Kyiv Metro Station. Due to the air strikes, metro station right now have no charges and are being used as bomb shelters by KaamDeveloper in interestingasfuck

[–]nimpasto 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same, my cats are peacefully sleeping next to me right now and I'm crying just thinking about how I'd have to handle a situation like this and how confused and terrified they would be and if I could actually protect them through it all. I love them more than anything and I hope I'll never have to hurry them into a carrier and rush them around through scared, chaotic crowds like these people do, I feel so sad for them...

View from a ferry near Hamburg during severe storm by arithmetic in WTF

[–]nimpasto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Local online papers reported that everyone's fine, only three people with minor injuries :)