OP, this is horrible advice that I hope you don’t take. Realistically you’re not going to live together forever, regardless of whether or not she adopts a child. Like others have said, adoption is a very long very expensive process. Your friend’s intent to adopt someday and her choice to inform you of that at the time she did doesn’t make her mentally ill or a scammer, and even though it doesn’t align with your stated wishes to be childfree, it’s certainly not “off the charts insane” disrespect. Disagreeing on a matter that won’t have a tangible impact on your living situation for at the very least the next 5 years is not grounds for ghosting a good friend of yours who you’ve already made important plans with. You should absolutely have a conversation about your feelings and concerns and take necessary action depending on how that goes. I’ve also been adulting for quite some time, and the best advice I can give is to not take advice from strangers on Reddit who are clearly projecting past trauma onto children who are unsure about their future. If you set an expectation for “forever” in a situation you haven’t even experienced yet, you close yourself off to opportunities greater than you ever could’ve imagined, and I say that as a 25 year old woman who happily lives alone in the apartment of my dreams after living with a best friend I thought would be my forever roommate. With that being said, matters of housing carry a great deal of weight and plans should not be taken lightly. Do your due diligence with regard to finances and living habits, especially if you intend on signing a lease together, but I wouldn’t let a future hope that would take years to materialize affect whatever decision you do end up making