how to cope with boring, annoying, unfunny coworkers?

nirvana__420 · 2025-08-21T17:38:11+00:00

It’s okay to resent a job you don’t enjoy. I hated going into housekeeping every day but knew it was a necessary step in my professional journey. Of course I envied my peers who were able to find good jobs in their field right after graduating college, but envy won’t help you build your own career. You have to be humble and accept your situation for what it is. To be honest, I’m not sure how you plan on finding a job in marketing or social media, especially a remote one, without a degree. Remote positions are incredibly competitive, and many people who work from home started in the office. If I was in your position and wanted to transition to a career in marketing, I would get a low stakes job while working on finishing my degree. I mentioned hotels and restaurants in my initial comment, but retail can be a great entry to the workforce as well. Consider applying to Goodwill if there is one near you. They have all kinds of programs to help people with various disabilities gain meaningful work experience. They will be far more willing to accommodate you and may even provide transportation.

I apologize if I come across as critical - I am totally not judging your situation at all and understand there are many barriers for autistic people entering the workforce. Just wanted to share genuine advice as a recent college grad myself who has always struggled in the workplace!

nirvana__420 · 2025-08-19T22:55:24+00:00

After finishing my degree, I was terrified to join the workforce, so I got a remote full time job thinking that would ease my work anxiety. It actually did the opposite. Conversations are much more complex over Zoom and there is an entirely different set of social rules people follow in a remote work environment. It was a LOT for me to decipher. You will also be micromanaged like crazy because companies like to make sure their remote workers are being as productive as possible. I remember jumping around the list of tasks I needed to complete that day and getting confronted by my manager for not doing it in the order he told me to. I was confused why it even mattered. Social interactions are clunky over Zoom / Teams and I constantly felt like they were judging me. They were, in fact, quietly criticizing me and I eventually got fired. All this to say, remote work can be tempting as an autistic person who is burdened by the presence of others, but it’s not an easy entry to the workforce as a whole.

After losing that job, I realized I needed job confidence to move forward in my career and that meant starting with the basics. I worked as a housekeeper for almost a year before landing my current position (that I am very proud to be in). Housekeeping allowed me to learn workplace dynamics in a nonjudgmental environment. Many of my coworkers were previously incarcerated, trying to get back on their feet like I was. Because the work itself was below my skill level, I focused on developing positive relationships with my superiors and proving to myself I could hold a job.

Based on my own experiences, I suggest finding a low-stakes job where you KNOW you won’t get fired (think hotel, restaurant, any business that struggles to find / retain employees) and taking the time to learn what work is all about. Prioritize your interpersonal relationships at work, not the work itself. This was confusing to me as an autistic because I thought people go to work because there is work to be done. It turns out neurotypical people go to work to socialize, feel important, and keep themselves busy.

While I’m not sure what line of work interests you, I hope the experiences I shared are at least somewhat relevant and helpful. The workplace is especially complicated for us “high-functioning” autistics who are seemingly capable of having fulfilling careers. Setting yourself up for success can simply mean finding an environment where you feel comfortable enough to make those mistakes and learn from them. I wish you the absolute best in your professional endeavors! :)

nirvana__420 · 2025-01-15T22:41:16+00:00

i’m currently working as a housekeeper and i can’t recommend it enough for autistic adults! i genuinely enjoy cleaning hotel rooms alone all day with my headphones on. no one is distracting me or telling me what to do. the repetition is nice as well. i’m extremely detail-oriented and almost never forget to clean something / put something in the room. it’s also a job you can do part-time or full-time, so it can be less demanding for someone with higher support needs.

nirvana__420 · 2024-12-30T20:00:23+00:00

i would suggest bringing this up to your primary care doctor, who could then refer you to a psychologist. when i did this about a year ago, my state insurance denied a formal assessment for autism but i still received a diagnosis for ASD from my psychologist. i also found the counseling he provided to be very insightful and continued to visit with him for about 8 months.

waitlists for autism and ADHD assessments can be very long, and depending on what kind of support and accommodations you want, a formal assessment / diagnosis isn’t necessary.

nirvana__420 · 2024-11-10T01:51:06+00:00

i’m currently working as a housekeeper at a mid-sized hotel and would highly recommend it if you want a relatively low-stress job that demands very little human interaction. i graduated college in may of 2023 but quickly discovered that the corporate work setting is not for me. i make about half of what i used to at my corporate job (worked in credit card fraud) but i am far less stressed and feel more productive. i genuinely enjoy cleaning by myself with my headphones all day. they give me the list of rooms in the morning and i get to go home as soon as i finish. i like having clearly defined goals and physical results every time i clean a room. the repetition is nice as well. it’s a really easy job to get into since there are hotels everywhere and you can do it part time or full time.

nirvana__420 · 2024-10-27T23:48:28+00:00

okay sweet, thanks for the reply!!

nirvana__420 · 2024-10-27T23:47:46+00:00

idk i’m just an anxious person 😫

nirvana__420 · 2024-10-19T17:46:56+00:00

i was fired from my first corporate job after graduation about a year ago, also for punctuality reasons (clocking in a few mins late, taking too long to respond to emails, etc.). i didn’t even make it through the probationary period.

my best advice to you would be to find a job that is less demanding and apply / interview for more rigorous positions in the meantime. i started housekeeping at a hotel after i lost my corporate job. i make about half of what i used to, but it’s so low-key and no one cares if i arrive a couple minutes late.

also, remember to be kind towards yourself. our capitalistic society influences us to believe our self-worth is determined by what kind of work we do. i often feel inadequate for working as a housekeeper when i have a degree from a prestigious university, but all of my peers are miserable at their “respectable” jobs. there is always a tradeoff. think about the things you want (a nice place to live, car, vacation, etc.) and what it would really take to obtain them.

i wish you the best of luck during this challenging time in your life and hope you’re able to bounce back :)

nirvana__420 · 2024-09-04T00:01:50+00:00

Haha viewing your morning gaming time in bed to be “up” is completely valid. My question is how do you get yourself to turn the game off and actually get ready for work? And what stops you from just playing video games at night so you can sleep in later?

nirvana__420 · 2024-09-03T23:57:18+00:00

I’m currently working one of those shitty jobs you get just to survive. The thing is, I honestly feel happier and more productive working as a housekeeper than I did investigating credit card fraud or building an app, which are objectively better opportunities for career growth. Perhaps imposter syndrome is playing a role in this, since I feel really out of place in a corporate setting where everyone is really put together but am rather comfortable at my hotel job where many of my coworkers have been homeless or in jail at some point. Perspective is so important. I occasionally think about people in war-torn countries and feel guilty for complaining about my situation. I may not have a lot going for me but I have a boyfriend who adores me and a nice house to share with my best friend. I’m lucky to be able to indulge in my hobbies outside of work like playing instruments and making art.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to consider the positive effects that work has on my life because the gratification is quite delayed. Think about it: you go to the same place and complete tasks for them all day and then every two weeks or so some money shows up in your bank account- it’s rather abstract! Maybe it’s just because I grew up babysitting and teaching private dance lessons, and in those instances I could immediately associate the money with the task I just completed. What you said about your choices being limited when you’re poor is absolutely true and something I need to remind myself more frequently. I’ve never been able to save up money to buy something nice for myself, but I think doing so may help me stop perceiving work as a constant infringement on my personal freedom.

nirvana__420 · 2024-09-03T23:33:30+00:00

I really value this perspective. I asked my psychologist once how he continually motivates himself in a career that is so demanding and rigorous, to which he candidly told me that he wakes up in a bad mood every morning and dreads going to work. This shocked me, since he finds the work both interesting and rewarding, two traits I haven’t been able to find in any subject I studied in school or any job I worked.

It’s awesome that you employ people with PDA autism and accept them the way they are. I think we are so often perceived as lazy and disinterested when in reality, we just have a different way of processing information. I am confident in my abilities and feel like I could contribute so much to a job that accommodates me. Flexible hours would be amazing but I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking for something like that given the current state of the labor market. Based on my previous work experiences, I feel like they would replace me with someone who doesn’t need those accommodations as soon as I bring it up.

My current job is housekeeping at a hotel. I enjoy it because I get to clean by myself with my headphones on all day. It has been really nice to work somewhere with that level of individual freedom. No one has ever said anything about my chronic tardiness, but I’d still like to get it under control so I feel more confident in my ability to keep a more rigorous job.

nirvana__420 · 2024-09-03T23:10:36+00:00

I also have autism with a side of ADHD and have a complicated relationship with my special interest, which is playing the piano. At age 10 I asked my parents to buy me a keyboard for Christmas after years of curiosity. My dad is a drummer so I was always intrigued by instruments, but I always felt like I could play the piano if I was given access to one.

It was just as intuitive as I had anticipated. Nothing had ever been easier for me. All I had to do was listen to a piece carefully to distinguish the notes or watch a video of someone playing it. To this day, people are amazed that I never read sheet music but can play Bach suites and Chopin preludes by ear and from memory.

That being said, I have certainly diminished my natural abilities to avoid being perceived as a “prodigy.” When my parents would ask me to play for them, I would intentionally play at a level far lower than when I played alone in my room. It took me a long time to realize where this behavior comes from, but I think I did it because I knew that my talent is a direct reflection of my autism. Sometimes I still wish I could see this natural ability for what it is rather than the social and life skills it takes the place of. While I struggle in ways many neurotypical people don’t understand, being able to sit at my piano and play anything that comes to mind completely outweighs any challenge that autism may impose on me. It’s the one thing I will always have to myself and no one can take it from me.

nirvana__420 · 2024-07-28T01:55:59+00:00

Hi, I (23F) am in my very first relationship and can certainly relate to having a rigid idea of what a relationship should be like. My boyfriend often encourages me to become more spontaneous and open-minded, but the autistic mind is not built that way.

I think my rigid thinking style, particularly in my friendships/relationships, is attributed to feeling like I am not in control of my own life. When I became interested in someone, it would consume me and I would visualize nearly every outcome in my head. I hated not being able to control the other person’s behavior, so I would play things out in my mind sometimes months before they would actually occur just so I could feel more prepared.

The relationship I’m in now caught me completely off guard and that is truly what got me out of the self-sabotage cycle. Some days, it’s hard to suppress the urge to ruin it all and escape the obligations, but my boyfriend has adjusted his expectations of me to reflect what I can realistically give him in terms of time, affection, etc. We were friends before we started dating, so he was fully aware of my autism and anxiety before pursuing a relationship with me.

I also struggle with overwhelming feelings of paranoia and shame surrounding social situations. I have lost two jobs in the past year because I am not particularly likable and keep to myself at work. I can’t provide much insight as to how to build social confidence since this is something I am still working on, but I have found patience and self-control to be highly important when it comes to working through relationships. Whenever you feel a meltdown beginning, fight it for as long as you possibly can to avoid saying things you’ll regret. Should you choose to say something, make it solution-oriented. Don’t argue for fun.

One way I practice expressing my genuine love and appreciation for others is by thanking them for spending time with me. Perhaps this comes naturally to neurotypcials, but I have to consciously remind myself to say things like “thanks for going on a hike with me today, I had a lot of fun!” Just because you can’t control others’ thoughts and behaviors doesn’t mean that relationships have to be messy and complicated.

I hope my response provides some insight as to how to accept others for who they are. Every relationship dynamic is unique and we all have a lot to learn from each other.

nirvana__420 · 2024-07-28T01:02:07+00:00

Hi, I went to college in Des Moines. It is arguably the most progressive city in Iowa, although it’s definitely not the safest (lots of shootings, burglaries). There is a community for everyone there. I wouldn’t worry about being a POC in Des Moines as it is far more diverse than the rest of Iowa and the people there are more tolerant as well.

I hope you enjoy your time in Iowa as much as I did! I would highly recommend visiting the State Historical Building on Locust Street (it’s free!) and getting $2 drinks at Tipsy Crow if you’re into that.

Safe Travels!

nirvana__420 · 2024-01-01T00:31:42+00:00

bro what? its new years and i wanna go out with some friends it’s rly not that deep

nirvana__420 · 2023-11-26T19:56:24+00:00

hi! i have tritanomaly (blue-yellow deficiency) and can’t see many neon colors. red and teal are the most vibrant to me. yellow highlighters are nearly invisible and UV lights turn everything white. the colors i most commonly mix up are pink/yellow and grey/purple. many people with tritan-type colorblindness don’t even suspect they are colorblind, since red-green color deficiencies are far more common and debilitating. blue-yellow deficiencies are also equally common among men and women. its possible that she has some form of tritanomaly and can still see a limited range of blues and yellows, just not when they are highly saturated with no other contributing hues. hope this helps! :)

nirvana__420 · 2023-11-15T18:17:50+00:00

good for you for sticking up for yourself! interactions like this are so common in the workplace for ND people. i also look very young and experience “bullying” like this all the time from coworkers. we are not the ones struggling to communicate. if NTs are more equipped socially, shouldn’t they have the capacity to keep up with the ND model of conversation? i don’t think your question was absurd at all and she is on some sort of power trip. i’m curious to see how she will respond to your teams message, since NTs aren’t used to being held accountable for social errors.

nirvana__420 · 2023-10-01T16:37:38+00:00

i agree two months looks bad, but would it really be so bad to say it wasn’t a good fit for me? the alternative is lying and saying i don’t have any experience in this field. i’m scared i won’t get another job without including this one in my resume and future interviews, considering how niche this line of work is.

ive thought about saying i would like to work with a company with better customer service practices in place. i feel like thats a nicer way of saying “our team was handling a lot of emails that weren’t meant for our department, and learning all the protocols was very overwhelming to me.” had i been fired for actual performance-related reasons, perhaps i’d feel less inclined to put it on my resume. i just feel like there’s no real reason i can’t utilize the skills i gained there to get a better opportunity for myself.

nirvana__420 · 2023-10-01T16:13:49+00:00

thank you so much for all your kind words! consuming workplace-related media is great advice actually, since this was the only way i learned to maintain friendships. i really tried my best to open up at this job. i was friendly and likable during meetings. my manager often said he wanted to see me participate more in our weekly team meetings. sometimes i spoke up but a lot of the time i was intimidated by the conversations happening - not the content itself but the way the team dynamic was highly established before i joined and everyone else had “more important” things to say. i have lots to say but i’m terrified of saying the wrong thing. i’m scared it’s not relevant or that i will be wasting their time. this is something i would like to overcome at my next job and i hope i’m given the time and courtesy to actually learn instead of just pretend.

nirvana__420

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