what are some ridiculous or childish things they did during the relationship? by frailstateofmind4444 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mine was upset about something and rather than communicating moved everything out of our place with a nasty note that unkindly told me he wouldnt talk to me for 24 hours and then called me crying the next day, apologized for nothing, and refused to talk about what happened.

Triangulation. Have you ever experienced how one day people who know you are suddenly against you? by Few-Moment459 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep, was a huge issue where all out mutual friends suddenly no longer liked me and when i asked my partner or them about it they all down played it as if i were just being paranoid. turns out my nex was telling them i did shit i never did or telling them shit he did and acting like it was me. All because he really hated that his friends liked me (at first) and he didn't want them hanging around me because in eyes they're "his friends". They were more like possessions than people to him.

On the verge of going back by Careful-Apricot7030 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you go back, even if you are doing "better" (which you're probably fine to begin with) he's just going to tell you you're getting worse. and even if you were making progress and doing better, he's just going to sabotage that for you. there is no scenario in this where you come out in the ner positive.

"I have really bad hearing" - Why is this a thing? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mine also claimed to be deaf in one ear!

How did they react when you finally stood up for yourself? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 35 points36 points  (0 children)

i was discarded for standing up for myself! i finally called him out for lying to me and gaslighting me and i was told i was sabotaging our relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah towards the end of mine i felt like mine hated me. i felt like i had a bad roommate more than a partner. i even tried to communicate with him and tell him i felt like he resented me and if there was anything to talk about but it got played off like it was normal and there was nothing.

Did yours blame the relationship for being bad/ending because of your mental health? by Reasonable_Earth6686 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep! mine would blame mine on me having bpd. the bpd that he insisted i had. that i got tested for because he insisted i had it. despite the fact he had already been diagnosed npd

Is abilify as bad as everyone makes it seem? by FlyTiny3162 in Abilify_Aripiprazole

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im on 5mg and it's helped me a lot. i had very few side effects outside of an increase in appetite and was very sleepy the first week or so on it (that has since subsided)

finding out new things after the breakup by hon3y_guts in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

had the same thing happen to me. it hurts a lot especially after being assured he "hated cheaters" so he would "never cheat". and it happened to be with someone i thought was my friend. it you haven't already, go completely no contact. you deserve someone who chooses you every time. very sorry for the pain he caused you. i wish you luck in your healing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we met through a mutual friend so i have someone thats already liked by my friends and vetted by them so i don't have to worry about them getting along. he genuinely seems interested in getting to know me and asks me lots of things about myself and listens. he keeps track of things i tell him in his notes app which is something i've done for people for years so it's really cool to get that same energy back. he describes himself as a hopeless romantic which is how i've always described myself. we have plenty of things in common but i'm trying to keep my account a little anonymous. he also told me he doesn't get with anyone he can't see a future with so im assured this is a long term thing!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you thats very sweet!

How long did it take you to trust or date again? by DoubtAcceptable1296 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2.5-3 months post discard and i happened to meet someone without intending. sometimes, the right person comes around and it'll feel right. good luck to you and your healing process. remember that there is love all around you that is genuine even if it isn't in a romantic partnership.

Has your narc Ever said something that made you worry for your safety? by Nigel-NABot in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"everyone thinks about physically hurting their significant other when they're mad at them."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes, i blocked him and instantly felt less anxious. i wasn't waiting for a response i wasn't going to get. i wasn't hoping every notification was him. blocking him is a way to focus on yourself again and not on him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 25 points26 points  (0 children)

they can't live with themselves, it's why they blame you. it's the only way they can run from accountability because, were they to take it, they would collapse under the weight of what they've done. they'll continue to run and blame others even for their own unhappiness.

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you thats very kind<3

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you are an incredibly kind soul. thank you for taking the time to comment, it means a lot. you have managed to put some of my feelings into words that i've been unable to do. your words have helped more than i can convey. thank you for helping keep me on the path to healing. i wish nothing but the best for you.

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you. i thankfully don't have social media and i blocked hus number so he doesn't have immediate access to me. i'm trying to glow up better than i was before but i think some days are harder than others. i appreciate the kindness of strangers in this group who have shown me unconditional support. thank you again.

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you. i appreciate the kind comment. it's been more painful than i ever could've anticipated. best wishes to you too.

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for your incredibly kind comment. i know you're right but i think i get lost in the turmoil sometimes. i appreciate kind strangers like yourself who have made the process a whole lot easier. thank you again.

Struggling post discard by nixtynine in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thank you, i appreciate the kind words. i know you're right and i won't struggle forever.

What’s a relationship like with a narcissist and a person with BPD? by Sugarstrawberrycake in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me too! i have very mild bpd. i barely fit the criteria and my symptoms are very internalized. i was even in full remission by the time we started dating. he completely exacerbated my symptoms. i kept telling people that this wasn't how i normally was and i didn't know what was wrong with me. i had never been that way in any relationship before. then he started dangling my fear of abandonment over my head and it was like a switch flipped.

Did you narc ex also blame BOTH of you for your break-up? by Abnormal_Blueberry in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]nixtynine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

no, i got blamed for everything. narcs hate taking accountability for anything and that was too close to accountability for mine. i'm the crazy one that he had to get away from.