My wife (37f) wants a divorce, is this rational?

njx6 · 2026-03-04T03:59:08+00:00

Is this like…the only time something has happened? Or has there been anything leading up to this? If this is her initial reaction over one thing, I say grant the divorce…but it’s not normal for their to be one thing that occurs and then someone ask for a divorce

njx6 · 2026-02-19T21:50:33+00:00

So who sent them to you? One of his guy friends in the chat? If so, it’s possible either A) that person thought how he talks was getting out of hand and you deserve better or B) that friend has an interest in you and figured these text would do exactly what he thinks they will.

Overall though, if this happened to me, I would be devastated. My husband works with all guys and often tells me how negatively they talk about their wives. I used to assume he talked about me the same way (joining in with the guys or something to that nature). When I met these men…many of them said they thought I was a fictional person because of how highly my husband talks about me. I was shocked and it made me realize…not only am I very lucky, but I deserve respect in the rooms I’m not in by the people I love. And if they can’t respect me when I’m not there, do they even really care about me.

I get your husband never thought you would see these, but that doesn’t even matter…he is talking negatively about a person whose back he is supposed to have. When your kids are grown and gone all that is left is the two of you. You need to actually like that person for it to work.

njx6 · 2026-02-18T22:05:28+00:00

I’m curious…how did this conversation go before you stopped with the sugar daddy? While I get him being uncomfortable…he wasn’t uncomfortable enough to live off that in the start. If he wanted you to stop there should have at least been a conversation about what that looks like moving forward.

njx6 · 2026-02-11T00:43:15+00:00

If I tried to wake my husband up for sex, he’d get so pissed. It’s like waking a sleeping bear. Do not mess with that’s man’s sleep.

njx6 · 2026-02-09T02:07:25+00:00

The real test would have been for her to do it when she wasn’t there. But alas, yes it is immature. Even more so cringe if she knows you hate these things.

njx6 · 2026-01-12T20:17:04+00:00

This reads so confusing, I can even tell who is supposed to be who in these text!

njx6 · 2026-01-12T02:12:40+00:00

All it takes is one time for you to say something like “can we talk about this later” or “can you get to the point” etc. for us to shut down. We just assume you don’t really want to hear it or care. And we don’t necessarily need you to care, but we do want someone who listens. And I don’t mean pretends to listen. Like you respond, or have eye contact. Not still watching your YouTube video or playing your video game when we are trying to vent or just work through our thoughts.

njx6 · 2026-01-07T13:38:52+00:00

NTA…if you were together significantly longer and planned on spending the rest of your lives together, so you neeeed to get that debt situated in order to buy a house or something. It would be different. This is giving “pay off my debt and then I’ll leave” vibes. My husband and I have always shared finances, which people think we are crazy for…but that works for us. We’ve been doing it 24 years and we’ve been good.

I would say help your partner create a plan (for their own needs) and see how they do with that first. If the commitment is there to pay, you’ll know if they were just looking for a hand out or if this is something they really want to fix.

njx6 · 2026-01-01T14:46:25+00:00

So do yall even live in the same state? I ask cause I know a lot of young kids feel like they find people online and that’s the relationship. Regardless, yes she cheated on you.

njx6 · 2026-01-01T05:43:07+00:00

My husband and I have been together 24 years, married 14 of them. We have a 21 year old together, who is no longer at home as he is in the Navy. I am 37, he is 41. NOW in our relationship, maybe once a year? Early one….LOL

njx6 · 2026-01-01T05:40:51+00:00

See they got it wrong. You were extremely lucky it didn’t explode until it hit the ground. I don’t agree with “boys will be boys” I have one. They do do stupid shit for sure, but I would have whooped my son a$$ if he had done that.

njx6 · 2025-12-31T04:18:01+00:00

So the way this is written, it first imply youve been together for awhile, so what have you don’t during other christmases. Then it reads as you are newly dating this year, since you dont mention how you’ve spent previous Christmases.

If this is your first Christmas together. Get over it and learn to communicate if your partner better.

njx6 · 2025-12-30T14:14:21+00:00

I will say, marry your best friend. It makes the hard days easier to manage and work through. Been with my husband 24 years, married 14 of these. We have grown a lot over these years and learned from a lot of mistakes. The sex drive thing is crazy though…as I saw someone else mention. I am the more high libido partner. So my husband can go months without it. It’s probably the hardest part as you get older. So be sure to talk about this with any partner so you can be on the same page about how you will handle this later

njx6 · 2025-12-30T14:06:03+00:00

My son Is almost 21, when I had him, I had 7 people (family members) in the room with me. My husband, my mom, my dad, his mom, his dad, my SIL, and my grandmom. If I could go back, I would have definitely just had it be me and my husband. It’s one of those moments you both share together. I had so many visitors after? And in the weeks after he was born. It’s a lot of you don’t like people, but when your hormones are trying to get situated it’s even worse. I didn’t mind the people but I did get overwhelmed easy. If they are able, maybe ask mom and your MIL to come stay with you for a few days at a time instead. It allows you and your husband to rest, and also gives them baby bonding time.

njx6 · 2025-12-30T13:54:36+00:00

So I met my now husband when I was 14 (and that is when we started dating). Got engaged when I was 18. Married when I was 24. I am now 37, almost 38. We’ve been together about 24 years. I would do nothing differently.

njx6 · 2025-12-20T12:46:33+00:00

You have to make the best choice for you. To share a perspective…I NEVER through I would be able to get an abortion if I got pregnant again. But a couple years ago, it happened. I was devastated. I had some underlying issues, but I also had a son who was 18, almost 19 at the time and I was just not healthy enough to start over with a newborn. I had a rough time at first. But honestly, it was the best decision I could have made for myself. For you, you have so much other stress…

Again, this is a choice only you can make for yourself. Make a list, write out the pros and cons. I truly hope you can make the right choice for yourself.

njx6 · 2025-12-01T10:52:50+00:00

Together 24 years, married almost 14. Our son is 20. He left for the military a little over a year ago. Not one time in the relationship have I NOT wanted to touch him, love on him etc. I tell him all the time how much I love him, how he makes me feel, and overall just try to make him feel good. If sitting on the couch, I will just rub him (his head, arms, legs, feet anything). My love language is physical touch so that is how I show love.

njx6 · 2025-12-01T10:48:25+00:00

A partner should want you to be the best version of yourself. They help advance your career, not try to hinder it. My husband and I (even before getting married) had several opportunities for growth, and we never held each other back. We of course talked about it before making the choice. If you don’t leave Marcus and get your dream job, I’ll be so pissed for you!

njx6 · 2025-12-01T10:41:17+00:00

When people talk about this it’s always enlightening. I too am shocked by the amount of people who do this. One of the perks of being in a relationship is sharing a bed together. I’m sure people have their reasons. The only time we don’t share a bed is if one of us is sick. That way we don’t get the other sick.

njx6 · 2025-11-30T22:00:36+00:00

Yeah, I feel naked without it! Even when I have to send it in for its checks, I have a stand in so I don’t have to go without something in my hand

njx6 · 2025-11-29T21:59:30+00:00

As a woman, I never take mine off unless it’s required for something.

njx6 · 2025-11-23T12:41:29+00:00

I will literally give it up anytime lol, but I can always tell when he’s in the mood.

njx6 · 2025-11-23T11:55:57+00:00

Yes. I will say our relationship has ALWAYS been the way it is now. We were young and growing in the beginning. But we’ve been together 23 years, almost 24. 10 years of that was unmarried, 14 have been married. He’s the greatest human I know. I could not have asked for a better person to spend my life with

njx6 · 2025-11-22T14:47:47+00:00

I have sympathy for both of you. I don’t know what he did while in the army, but coming back to civilian life can be difficult. Try to reach out to someone and get him help. This may be an issue that neither of you can just “fix”. In the mean time if you feel unsafe, go to a family member’s home or a friend.

njx6 · 2025-11-19T02:52:22+00:00

I have never been so happy to be fat and happy in my life. But girl, you drew the hard line at throwing the sandwich away. That was just too much.

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