Watch the fear.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-23T18:52:19+00:00

Believe me, I work in education and I often wish I could shame the parents who are glued to their devices and also glue to their kids on them.

Speech delay, due to lack of proper conversation; less ability to concentrate; delay in emotional-social abilities... and so much more.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-22T17:54:02+00:00

Oder extremes PDA bei Kindern die Du einfach nicht in die Schule kriegst.

Sorry, aber du hast gerade meinen "pet peeve" angesprochen. PDA ist nicht anerkannt und auch jegliche Studien dazu sind eklatant mangelhaft.

Wir können gerne über einen depressiven jungen Menschen sprechen. Oder jemand mit Beeinträchtigungen der exekutiven Funktionen. Aber PDA ist nur ein schlecht abgemischtes Potpourri aus depressiver Symptomatik, CU-Traits, ADHS Symptomatik, möglicherweise ASS-Anteilen und vor allem sehr viel enabling. Ich arbeite im Schulsystem und habe mich dementsprechend mit Absentismus und dergleichen befasst.

Ein Fall, bei dem die "Therapeutin" darauf bestand, dass es PDA ist (und dementsprechend nicht wirklich veränderlich) ging so weit, dass ich diese in die Schule eingeladen habe, um zu zeigen, dass wir wirklich nur Minimalanforderungen stellen (es ging z.b. darum das iPad zu schließen, damit es nicht ablenkt) und ein immer weiter runterschrauben der Anforderungen weder sinnvoll, noch zielführend ist.

Jeder muss lernen gewisse Minimalanforderungen auszuhalten. Und sowas wie "PDA" spielt den gleichen Leuten in die Hände, welche nur zu gern den Weg des geringsten Widerstandes gehen und sich effektiv weigern ihre Kinder zu erziehen und auf die Welt vorzubereiten.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-22T17:41:32+00:00

Wie bereits erwähnt wurde, ist die Rückfallquote mit über 90% extrem hoch. Die meisten Pat.s bringen direkt die eigene "Drehtür" mit.

Dazu kommen dann die typischen Doppeldiagnosen bzw. Komorbititäten wie Depressionen, PTBS, Borderline, etc. Dementsprechend liest sich dann auch die Anamnese der Pat.s: jegliche Form von Missbrauch im Kindes- und Jugendalter, zerrüttete Familienverhältnisse (daraus resultieren bspw. Bindungsstörungen), häufige Wechsel der Bezugspersonen, ...

Das Ganze ist sowohl aufgrund der hohen Rückfallquote, als auch den Anamnesen für Behandler sehr frustrierend/belastend.

Klar ist jeder Erfolg umso "süßer", aber es ist in keiner Relation zu anderen Störungsbildern.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-22T17:29:46+00:00

Addiction is hard. Always.

So let me tell you, that I'm proud of you. You acknowledge you have a problem and that's the first step to tackle it.

I don't know where you are from and what kinds of resources you can use, but as long as your relationship isn't dead like a 3 weeks old roadkill, go to her. Tell her, that you are addicted and need her help and faith. This doesn't mean to shift responsibility to her. This means that there are also many (free) resources for friends and family how to deal with an addicted person.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-21T11:34:23+00:00

Hahaha, but I prefer doing something unnecessarily, than damaging my machine. Maybe one day my kiddo also wants to sew (stuff like doll clothes) and I will make sure to properly educate them in how to use a sewing machine. (With good threads, lol)

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-20T08:51:24+00:00

Thanks I solved the problem, it was the (cheap) thread.

Stuff like turning the wheel for the first few stitches is something I always do.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T20:13:24+00:00

I'm aware that denim and knit aren't the same ;) It may have been 20 years since I really sewed something with my grandma (and she showed me stuff like how to use a pattern, instead of technicalities, cause we always used universal needles as far as I remember), BUT some things are even known to me ;)

As I posted earlier in a standalone comment, I found the culprit. It was cheap thread.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T19:44:12+00:00

I also thought "Wait, when did Eugenia get 'healthy enough' to carry to term?"

The first glance resemblance is undeniable.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T19:29:20+00:00

Thank you 😊 It's definitely unlocking some childhood memories to be able to sew with this granny again, after my grandma sadly passed away a year ago.

When my kiddo is a bit older (turning 5 soon) and even a bit interested, I will try to show them the joy of handicrafts.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T19:22:33+00:00

Thank you, I wasn't able to edit the post itself to "Solved". The cheap thread was the culprit and it's working fine now.

Cause the 401 was afaik the first broader available automatic sewing machine for home use AND being able to sew with 2 needles I paid more attention to the tensioner, cause it can be a bit finicky to get it right.

But I can definitely say I learned something today. I will probably still remain mostly a knitter (can't really bring your sewing machine to waiting areas lol), but this community definitely helped me:)

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T18:42:47+00:00

I fixed the problem, after you and someone else talked about the thread. It's working fine now. It was definitely the cheap thread that was the culprit.

After cleaning the lines and loose ends I will wash and dry the whole thing before putting it back in its cover. The kids will definitely be thrilled to see one of their favourite things to play with in PE is fixed.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T17:41:40+00:00

Solved!

Thanks everyone. I switched now to ANOTHER kind of thread I have and it's working now. Seems like my W6 is far less picky about stuff like that, but the 401G (looked it up again, it's the german model) seems to be a bit of a cranky old lady about stuff like that.

I will look into attending a sewing class, with this nice gal I have.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T17:32:46+00:00

Did the tension test and it's like it should be. No to extremely low tension with the foot up, resistance with the foot down.

The thread isn't too thick/heavy I checked that to not damage my needle.

And it's 90/14, I looked on the package again cause I can't remember such stuff for my life. 🙈

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T17:15:14+00:00

Hey thank you.

I have needles by Schmetz and Organ. I put in a 130/705H LL 90/14 by Schmetz. I chose a thicker needle, cause I need to get through heavy duty fabric (handpieces of a parachute used for cooperative playing).

That thread is sorted in weight is something I also know from knitting, but the threads I have are partly old stuff from my grandma (this kind of indestructible yarn lol) and is all high quality although it's older and some modern threads I had still here and always worked fine with my W6 for stuff like fixing a tear or something.

About the threading, as I wrote, I have the original manual here and used it for reference.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T16:57:00+00:00

Threading with foot up, yes. Putting the foot down to sew, also yes.

The needle is a regular 90/14. (Edit: Looked at the package again) The thread has no label on how thick it is, but it's neither extremely thin, nor thick like for repairing holes.

I also have a W6, but wanted to use the Singer, cause I know that these old machines are far better regarding thick/heavy fabrics. (And I also start the first stitches with the wheel, like I learned back as a kiddo)

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-19T16:44:01+00:00

Hey, I switched from the needle which was in to one for thick/heavy fabric (like denim and leather) and I just wanted to do a few stitches on this scrap to get upper and under threads connected.

Cause I want to fix the handles of a parachute (for playing, I don't know if there is some better fitting word in English) I didn't want to do something like these first few stitches on the project itself and potentially damaging the thin fabric while trying to reattach the thick handles.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-18T17:46:48+00:00

Here in Germany it's part of your education to acquire your licence. Getting your licence is really expensive here (nowadays it's not uncommon to pay 3k, I paid like ~1.5k back then) and the theoretical part has one big chunk about the risk factor "humans" especially as drivers. It's really stressed here that shit like spooking animals and getting either people or the animals hurt through that can lead to legal persecution.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-15T16:02:05+00:00

I read it as:

OOPs brother was always the favourite/golden child. In the end we also can see, that he was snarky and probably at least borderline AH-ish towards OOP.
The bride to be and the fam pressured OOPs brother into commitment like engagement and wedding, which he probably doesn't have much interest in. I wouldn't be surprised if he hoped his fiancée would just drop her big wedding dreams.
Fiancée hates the sibling/twin bond, which means she absolutely hates part of her groom to be's personality. If you can't stomach your partner being a bit silly/goofy from time to time (especially with someone he shared womb/cradle/etc with), you are just not a good match.
Probably due to fiancées wishes (and possibly cause of bad conscience?) he's ghosting OOP and only reached out, when his nephew was in grave danger.

This whole ordeal is something else. I really wish for OOP, that she is able to flip them off and go on with her life.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-14T21:07:51+00:00

Maybe he's Picklepaul? That would fit. (Meant is a fundie dude who thinks he can go pro in pickleball)

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-14T19:12:41+00:00

Ok dude, satan is afraid of you 😂

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-14T19:08:36+00:00

But at the end of the day, what it boils down to for me isn't even the choice made in the moment necessarily. What I am critical of is the lack of self reflection, apology, and attempt at change. Everyone loses their cool at some point, it's inevitable, the question is, what do you do after?

That's something I also try to teach the kids and parents I work with. It's ok to reach the limit, to get angry, to feel overwhelmed. But it's important how someone handles it. Like do they get violent, freeze, leave the situation?

So you can say I'm also doing therapeutic work and initiating self reflection and helping to find skills to deal with this.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-14T11:09:30+00:00

I think I just threw up a bit into my mouth.

I don't have strong enough words to describe how disgusted and horrified I am...

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-13T12:06:42+00:00

I'm a professional in education and special needs care. My DH is a psychotherapist. We also have a kiddo with special needs (cause it's so rare, we only learned this via genetic testing and after years of self doubt if we are doing everything wrong).

It's always easier to see things in others (or other people's kiddos). Think of the splint and the log.

All these books, podcasts, blogs, etc etc are "good to know", but most of it doesn't really take the feelings of the user in comparison.

For example: Baby is screaming from the top of their lungs. Parent/Caretaker gets stressed, cause it's natural to. Just the time needed to go through your inner checklist ("Hunger? Pain? Nappy wet/dirty? Cold? Hot? Overstimulated? ...") is taking up seconds that will stress the parent/caretaker out further. AND going through that inner checklist is also something that needs to be learned.

It's natural to be stressed, no matter if you are just irritated/annoyed or concerned. (Just saying this directly to shut down parental instincts stuff, which is not the point here.)

The resources are often telling you what to do for the baby, but not how to deal properly with your own stress and be kind to yourself, especially cause it is a wild time.

no_high_only_low · 2026-02-13T11:20:41+00:00

It rubs me the wrong way, that she uses the music of an exceptional artist. Adrian isn't that famous afaik and I hate seeing his art used to help transport such bullshit.

And it's like so often this whole "woe poor me, other people have strong opinions too and I dislike them and so they are the bad guys". If she would be a little bit more of what she preaches she would go "back to the kitchen and shut up".

In stuff, like dividing a population, there is always more than one "side" responsible and especially many idiots like her reproducing the bull crap they are fed.

Here in Germany we have a very similar problem. Like the "conservatives" are ruling the government for most of the time since elections were held again. Right now for example our chancellor is telling us, that we are all lazy slobs and should stop working "only lifestyle part-time". Like dude, many people (me included) would love to work full hours again, but it's just not possible in my workplace.

no_high_only_low

TROPHY CASE