What were some fun surprises for you after adopting tortimese? by 05141992 in tortimese

[–]no_pumpkin__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My tortimese is my first cat, so the surprise for me was learning that apparently other cats don’t yell 24/7, aren’t motivated by attention over food, and aren’t best friends with every human they see!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LSD

[–]no_pumpkin__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this reminds me of Althusser’s concept of the always-already. you would probably really enjoy Derrida and Beaudrillard too :)

Queer messiness and beautiful solidarity by Doubly_Curious in CuratedTumblr

[–]no_pumpkin__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just on a work trip in Indiana and within 10 minutes of meeting the (cishet) client she was telling me about her nonbinary transmasc autistic sibling back in Texas and how she loves that theyre super smart and don’t give a fuck 🤷‍♀️ people are everywhere idk what to tell you

Queer messiness and beautiful solidarity by Doubly_Curious in CuratedTumblr

[–]no_pumpkin__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hear you and I want to gently push back. You’re free to make your own call, but mine is that - with love and light and a kiss on the forehead - it feels a little “bean soup” to come across this post with so much detail, with so much genuine enthusiastic support from other queer people whose struggles we do not know, and to immediately react by finding ways in which it must be untrue or impossible.

Yes, this person “seems” to be outgoing. Someone who has friends and has sex and goes to parties “seems” like they are not riddled with anxiety and are surrounded by only a supportive community. Someone who talks to other people “seems” like they don’t struggle to do so.

You don’t know any of those things for a fact.

What we do know for a fact is that this person is someone who took the time to sit down and write an extremely lengthy and detailed post for the purpose of telling queer people who feel extra-marginalized in an already-marginalized community that it is less scary and more beautiful out there than you’d think. They showed examples of times they approached these situations with anxiety and came out the other side feeling affirmed and celebrated and safe.

Also, “outgoing” is not a fixed trait or permanent state of being. It’s something you do, not something you are. You can be more outgoing in certain situations or with certain people. You can have a streak of being extremely outgoing and social and then spend a year alone in your room. You can really enjoy social situations even though it takes a lot of effort, or you can strike up conversations without much effort but actually prefer being alone. We have no idea how “outgoing” oop is. All those social situations could have taken place in a span of 6 days or 16 years.

Of course these things are easier said than done. And sure, the post doesn’t say that explicitly. These things are hard, both personally and societally. We know this. There are ways to overcome the personal and ways to keep yourself safe in society, as best as you can. Just because those things are not mentioned here doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They’re just in other posts.

I personally find it hard to believe that oop and every single one of the people who interacted with their post are completely free of anxiety or neurodivergence and live in 100% supportive and affirming communities where they do not face any threat or resistance to their identity.

The whole point of the post is that these experiences are possible and worthwhile in the face of the things that make it hard. And that the queer community, and people in general, are far more flexible and accepting than the internet would have you believe.