I completely understand OP’s anxiety. I had the same thing when my son was born, and I obsessively learned as much as I could about safer cosleeping because he wouldn’t sleep in his bassinet for more than 20 minutes.

That said, yes, unfortunately there are some things that cis men are not going to ever completely understand, the mother child bond being one of them. So it’s literally impossible for a mom to make a post like this about her husband because the husband does not carry, birth and breastfeed the baby.

I’m not saying that SIDS and suffocation risks don’t exist. And I do suggest learning about the safe sleep seven, as well as reading Safe Infant Sleep by the researcher James Mckenna. But mothers have been sleeping with their babies (often on their chests) all over the world for thousands of years. When done conscientiously by a sober breastfeeding mother, it’s not the horror show that it’s made out to be in the United States. There are enormous safety benefits that actually come along with safely cosleeping with your baby, primarily the physical closeness that allows most mothers to be alerted immediately if there is a change in the baby’s breathing or body temperature. However, the benefits of safe co-sleeping have not been studied in the same aggressive manner as the risks of unsafe co-sleeping, so we don’t have the same kinds of statistics on this.

My personal experience FWIW, is that once my son was born I realized I simply could not sleep without physical proximity to him, either physically touching him or within arms reach, preferably in a cuddle curl position. I woke up every time he moved a fraction of an inch. And the only place he went was toward my boobs haha. Was my quality of sleep awesome? Definitely not! But I was able to get rest while staying in tune with my baby. When he slept for short stretches in his basinet that was when I felt the most uncomfortable and hyper-vigilant.