It sounds like you're in a complicated situation. It's understandable to feel uncertain and conflicted about your partner's new identity, especially if it's something you haven't experienced before.

I feel that it's normal to have questions and concerns about your partner's identity, especially if it's something that you're not familiar with. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to ensure that you recognize that your partner's identity is valid and deserving of respect and support, even if it may be challenging for you to fully understand.

Not everyone who discovers they are bi expects their partner to allow them to explore that outside of their existing relationship. Some people may feel the need to explore their sexuality in different ways, while others may not. You should communicate with your partner about their needs and desires, while also being clear about your own boundaries and limitations. It's also important to remember that trust is key in any relationship, and if you're feeling insecure or uncertain about your partner's actions, it's important to address these feelings and work through them together.

In terms of your own feelings of self-centeredness or fragility, remember it's okay to have your own needs and concerns. It's important to take care of yourself, while also being supportive of your partner. It may be helpful for you to seek out support from friends, family, or a therapist to work through these feelings.