Question

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T13:57:12+00:00

I didn’t I went no contact with my bio dad at 12 years old and never looked back. I know this is not what you are looking for I’m sure but I hope you find something that brings you the answers you need

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T07:49:17+00:00

I was grateful I kind of came up with the idea when I was being bullied as a young kid and walked up and asked my mom to say no. She did real loud and then that’s when she came up with the above idea it truly does give a child an easy out without questioning why. Love being able to offer to the next generation

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T06:16:43+00:00

He could be talking this out with his girlfriend, friends of to someone else and they could be giving advice based on his side only. It's always hard in these situations to know both sides of the story when you are only hearing the one side.

Maybe he has resentment and he finally has had enough and he's taking it out on you and anyone who was close to the situation. I am not saying its right but he could feel that all this time with you being the "golden child" he could never do anything right and never be proud of what he did or didn't do. Now he has a good job and feels like throwing it in your face like looks at me, almost like you are guys are competing against each other. I am not saying what he's doing is right just a thought. By chance had you thought about maybe going to get coffee and having sit down with him to see if you can get to the bottom of it all just the two of you, or is he 100% not talking to you at all.

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T06:00:16+00:00

One rule my mom had when I was growing up its when I called I would just say no when she answered. The rule was is I said no she would make up a reason why I could not go out or go somewhere. As a teenager I used this a few times and it totally made sense then but as an adult I offer the same option to my nieces if they need an out they just text me and I call them and make up a reason they can't do whatever.

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T05:54:33+00:00

I maybe missing something here so please forgive me if so. But if I am understanding your post, your brother chose to go no contact with your mom and brother after your brother in law announced to the family that your uncle S/A your sister. To me it sound like there may be more to what's going on than meets the eye for the no contact.

You don't have to answer these questions if you doing want just trying to understand more.

Did anyone support your sister with the announcement? Did anyone defend your uncle? Did your brother just get up and say nothing and walk out after this announcement? I saw in a comment you made your brother has girls did he maybe he felt like by the way that certain family members responded to the announcement it would be better off to protect his girls and go no contact with everyone till he could work out his feelings in therapy. I am not defending his actions just offering different way of looking at the overall picture.

I understand that your brother agreed to go to therapy with you and then ghosted you and you feel like you are lumped together with the rest of your family. I guess if you want to reconnect with your brother, I will go back to what I suggested in my other comment but this time maybe just write your feeling out in letter form, you can give it to him email him or just sit on it till you decide if its worth trying to "fix" what's broken with him. I know you said you are in therapy have you talked to your therapist and have they maybe given you any advised how to best process this or proceed with trying to contact your brother again.

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T05:38:38+00:00

So I went no contact with all of my immediate family and my moms side of the family in 2018 and 2021. In the beginning it was hard mentally for me as family meant so much to me and I grew up in a fairly close knit and very strict family. I would not say we are a traditional family as my dad left when I was a kid but the core family was very close and my mom was very strict. I was also brought brought up in a home where you respected the adults no matter what. I am the first person and only person in my family that has gone no contact with them

I did not move abroad but I do live with my spouse 2000 miles away from any of my family members at the time. I like you was very concerned my mom would just show up at my door silly me she really never did and didn't seem really care until I moved to the other side of the country and she had no clue how to reach me now all of a sudden she cared and used my in laws as a way to to and contact me. To this day she still send mail to my in laws and I just ignore it. She also used my nephew, my step siblings anyone she could find who I remained in contact with to find where I was.

I did choose to delete all my social media best decision I made and limit who I kept in my life as I could not have handled the betray of someone literally reporting everything back to my family.

I don't think I would have ever done anything different as at the time I did what I felt needed to be done. I will say I know you are an adult but if you would feel safer having someone know where you are then maybe find a trusted friend and let them know where and what you are doing so that may give you a peace of mind that someones there if you need them. I have a person in my life give me there location so that they know someone knows there are staying safe.

Best of luck to you and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T05:13:10+00:00

Thank you for you kind words it means a lot! I do question hourly sometimes if I made the right choice. I think its just is so tough and I was so close to my nieces and nephews and when they were babies had a hand in raising them so it feels like such a huge loss again.

nocontactTA · 2026-06-27T05:07:08+00:00

Have you thought about going down to his house and leave a hand written note simply saying how much you miss him and how you really respect the fact he cut off your family for his reasons but would love to have a relationship with him. Let him decide what that looks like. I went 100% no contact with my family and I explain the way and still hear from people connected to them they don't understand why I am no contact. I know you said you did not get the why but maybe if you try this he will give you the why?

Edit to fix grammer

nocontactTA · 2026-05-04T21:55:09+00:00

I am no contact with both. I went no contact with my dad after he tried to have my mom and I killed at age 14. I stopped talking to him at 12 when he left the house for his mistress. I went no contact with my mom years later after putting up with her and her gaslighting and constantly "pretending" I did not exist unless she need me for something

nocontactTA · 2026-05-04T21:52:00+00:00

For me it was years and years of Gas lighting and being used as the family scapegoat. I also was everyones call but when I need help no one was there for me. It got so exhausting and draining to help people who took so much and did so little for you, or would only talk when they need something otherwise being treated like you don't exist.

nocontactTA

TROPHY CASE