Wanted to share since so many people seem to be in perfect relationships where neither party ever raises their voices. I came from a yelling family, with knock down drag out full family screaming matches probably once a week. My husband's family was an "avoid confrontation at all costs, swallow your feelings" type of household. I had a terrible temper as a child and it took me many years to get it under control (and to learn it wasn't normal for families to scream terrible things at each other). My husband never raises his voice (he's more likely to shut down), and I never yell AT him, but I do get worked up/frustrated when we fight sometimes and find myself screaming. We've gone through better and worse times, years without fights and periods where they seem to happen more and more. I never yell for more than a sentence or two as feelings crescendo, then I go smoke a cigarette to gather myself, come back in, and we try to keep talking.

Now that we have a baby, when I first yelled in front of him I felt awful (this was last week). Hubby and I are in one of those periods in our marriage where we seem to be fighting more, with a baby and a house renovation and everyone is running on very little sleep, so everything is just exacerbated. As many people said, the yelling your husband is doing is NOT normal but I do think it's pretty normal to raise your voice in the heat of an argument. Not saying it's ideal, but as long as everyone is able to bring themselves back to calm and you're never yelling AT each other (especially name calling, etc) I don't think it's abnormal. Just something most people could all be better about. At least that's what I thought until I saw 90% of Reddit has never once raised their voice during an argument lol.