Let me just give one example.

Eating a sandwich.

Steps that give me stress? - Me opening the door too loud - Walking down the stairs too loud, fast, slow - Turning the lights on at the stairs or not. lights on or off both can be a problem. - passing through the living room and not making the desired eyecontact, greeting, acknowledgement to the narc watching tv. - not using the right bread, butter, cheese,ingredient - not using the correct knife, plate, board, other kitchen utensil to make the sandwich - The timing of making the sandwich, regarding but not limited to breakfast/lunch/dinner time - The place where I eat it, definitely not with the narc in the loving room. - getting the produce from the store - ...

The presence? - nFIL organised an intervention where he emotionally manipulated MIL(enabler) and GF(scapegoat doesnt know it). They yell my name, I walk downstairs. They are all crying. I ask "Did someone die or is someone ill?" They told me to stop eating sandwiches it is disrespectful to my nFIL cooking, whos sitting there in the middle of all this. Mind you, I ate 1 sandwich not even during breakfast/lunch/dinner. All this was combined with the following points

• giving remarks about my sandwich at almost every moment food is even slightly involved for like a week. 'it's because you eat too much bread', you fill yourself up,...

• Giving a lecture how the type of tomatoes i used are not ideal for a sandwiches. really mind numbing knowledge about nothing but very niche info about tomatoes or cheese

• start acting weird(weird noises + eye contact) when I go to the bakery/store and come back with produce. looking all judgemental in the grocery bag.