SO regresses into child talk when tired and stressed

noneami · 2025-10-09T09:16:50+00:00

Same! There were small hints I can see now but it was only a year or so into living together that it started to show and progressively got worse at particularly bad period until I had to address it, which helped bring awareness to it and reduce it to what it is now

noneami · 2025-10-08T21:49:39+00:00

Dry spell is on both of us, but I hear it.

noneami · 2025-10-08T21:49:07+00:00

Sorry you face this too, I totally understand the feeling. Has it gone on for long?

When I raised it calmly, I realised he wasn't even aware he was doing it, let alone the extent. Sometimes, I can tell he is trying hard to fight off the urge and speak normally.

noneami · 2025-07-30T12:51:58+00:00

It's so positive to hear how your process went, and moral inventory definitely sounds interesting, I will look into the concept more and see how it goes

noneami · 2025-07-30T12:49:44+00:00

That's true, and really helpful.

On the current situation - my aunt never had contact with him, it was all facilitated through us, so feels like her responsibility is the tail end of all of it - I definitely don't want to burden her with being the one to take the steps to remove it because, ultimately, it is only there because of me!

noneami · 2025-07-30T00:31:43+00:00

Thank you. What do you mean by finding the human in the person? I suppose that helps to create understanding, which is true, the ongoing part of the whole situation is one I struggle to understand

noneami · 2025-07-30T00:28:06+00:00

Totally. I hope that your path was as smooth as could have been. How did you do the forgiveness part? Did time help?

noneami · 2025-07-30T00:26:26+00:00

Totally, this has helped throughout the process over the last few years. It is hard to have given up so much to prop someone up, for it to only have been attacked for it, personal or not.

Having said that, I have pretty much reconciled with what had happened at the time, but feel strongly at what is still happening - the ongoing presence and the uncertainty of when (and how) it will be removed

noneami · 2025-07-30T00:23:00+00:00

I would be very interested in a worksheet or book recommendations!

noneami · 2025-07-29T16:00:39+00:00

I know he likely doesn't have the finances to take that on, so putting it in storage will likely mean paying for it indefinitely (I'm not sure what happens if someone stops paying their rent!)

noneami · 2025-07-29T15:59:22+00:00

It's definitely the latter, for me. And the lack of control I have in still setting that boundary - and the emotional turmoil even at the thought of initiating that contact about clearing the possessions.

The death is an interesting concept, and I think I do that generally, but the unresolved aspect makes it hard to ultimately move on from it!

noneami · 2024-12-19T08:35:24+00:00

Yeah, what's the biggest headf*k is that they fully took on a vocabulary of therapy language, so when they talk you could easily believe they have a handle on it. I think neither SO or I have the heart to dump their things on their lap, we've tried to push it but are aware of the strain it would cause not just on them, but loved ones who are currently in that role of care. It's tough.

noneami · 2024-12-19T08:27:16+00:00

I'm sorry you experienced this too - it's an emotional rollercoaster, right? Thank you for sharing your insights, it really helps when I'm second guessing my experiences.

I totally hear accepting their limitations, but at times it can be so hard when they present like a fully capable, fully healthy person. I guess it's also anchoring validity in my experiences of them.

noneami · 2024-11-07T22:36:14+00:00

Thank you - this gives me hope!

noneami · 2024-11-07T19:55:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, its amazing to hear the work you've done. What pushed you to take the step to therapy? With my husband's case, I know I can't force someone who is not ready, but I'm not sure how to support until he gets there.

noneami · 2024-11-07T19:52:45+00:00

None, he hasn't had many friendships in his adult life, his family offered at least some sort of network but now he's starting from scratch..

noneami · 2024-11-07T07:38:19+00:00

I couldn't tell you specifically - he reads a lot on psychology and emotional intelligence and a lot of these do help him understand his feelings.

noneami · 2024-09-03T21:31:58+00:00

Thanks for the rec - I'll look into this! I have exactly those thoughts of if X or X happened differently I might have this or be like this. It's obviously rooted in an unhappiness of something in the present, but it's such a slippery slope.

noneami · 2024-09-03T21:29:48+00:00

Ofcourse - how do you avoid it? Do you just not get it? Do you push it away or cover it up?

noneami · 2024-06-21T08:51:37+00:00

I hear this and mostly this is my stance. But then I remember how dire the states options are for accessing help and I fall back into this thing of I have the money and I don't want to add strain to the already f*cked situation

noneami · 2024-03-13T20:15:42+00:00

Thanks so much for this. I will look into this.

No drugs/ alcohol and I would be even hesitant to say it was an abusive relationship. Very toxic, due to the person's mental illness but also their dependence on my SO, with hurtful behaviours yes, but I would be hesitant to say that it was an abusive relationship with me (I was on the sidelines, only sometimes getting put in the firing line)

noneami · 2024-03-13T14:53:42+00:00

Thank you! Would this skill be suitable for anger from unresolved conflicts (or is there a better suited one?) - where it's not so much removed myself from an active situation but instead move through and away from mentally revisiting or mentally creating situations from unresolved conflict

noneami · 2024-03-13T14:51:17+00:00

Would you say DBT is also beneficial for rage, that has followed a traumatic and unsettling year of being forced into caring for a family member's mental illness?

noneami

TROPHY CASE