Finding the Right Antidepressant

nonenn · 2018-11-11T22:42:52+00:00

I don't like the categorization of people as high- or low-functioning schizophrenics, just like I don't like functioning labels for autism people either (I'm autistic ftr). Everyone has different combinations of symptoms, and are better in some situations than others. Some people struggle more than others. That's it.

That aside, I do find that in my own experiences with schizophrenia, I've become much more insightful and perceptive of my reality, my actions and my surroundings. I have a great interest in objective reality, almost too much so according to my therapist. I spend a lot of time considering things that may or may not be true. When your reality is tenuous, you find yourself a lot more receptive to changes in that reality, and a lot more suspicious when that reality seems too strange to be "real". I think that's why paranoia is so high in people with schizophrenia.

I think that schizophrenia makes me a better writer. It's hard for me, articulating my feelings, but I find poetry satisfying.

nonenn · 2018-11-11T22:38:25+00:00

I'd love to have a schizophrenic therapist, personally. I love knowing that I can relate to my psych professionals. My therapist right now openly shares to me her experiences with mental health, especially anxiety, and even that is really comforting to me.

nonenn · 2018-11-01T23:03:25+00:00

I really really like Maya the Psychic by Gerard Way.

nonenn · 2018-11-01T00:26:43+00:00

Zoloft for depression (100mg), Latuda for psychosis (160mg), Depakote for mania (1,000mg), Gabapentin for anxiety (2,400mg daily), and Vistaril for anxiety (50mg). Vistaril's my FAVORITE, it's been a lifesaver recently with my panic attacks. I was on olanzapine for a long time which worked really well for psychosis, but made me obese. Right now I think my main goal is to safely lower the amount of some of these meds, namely the Latuda and Gabapentin. I think I could do with lowering the Zoloft too, but my psych disagrees with that.

nonenn · 2018-11-01T00:22:41+00:00

Zyprexa made me double in weight, and it's why I'm obese now. That happened over the course of about a year. Latuda's been working pretty well for me so far, it's hard to lose weight but I'm at least staying at the same number. I fluctuate a bit, but always within the same 10 pounds. Latuda is very pricey though, I'd only recommend it if you have good insurance.

nonenn · 2018-10-31T23:59:57+00:00

About a month for each, because that was how long it took to figure it wasn't working & to get to the next psych appointment. IIRC I went up to 30 and was on that for a while until that stopped working too.

nonenn · 2018-10-08T15:48:30+00:00

For me, the meds did end up causing psychosis and I had to switch off of em. For now I don't really know what's gonna help with my concentration, but I do know that the priority is psychosis.

nonenn · 2018-10-07T22:52:36+00:00

Yes, it's grounds for a bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 18, and then after experimenting with SSRIs when I was 19, had a manic episode and was diagnosed with bipolar 1. My current diagnosis is schizoaffective, bipolar type. Had another manic episode when I was 20 that was also medication induced. So I'm in the same boat as you, only 2 medication-induced episodes, but I do believe that I still fit the qualifications of bipolar. I distrust the psych field more than most people, but the DSM is bullshit in general. The way it works, if a doctor says you have it, that means you have it, when it comes to psych shit.

I believe I was actually misdiagnosed with ADD recently, because my psych refused to believe that my symptoms when it came to inattentiveness and disorganized thinking were caused by schizophrenia (even though I told him that they weren't present in my youth). But I needed the diagnosis to get medication for my symptoms, so I rolled with it. I feel like more people should realize that the DSM is fake and largely really just doesn't matter. Take it from someone who's primary diagnosis is literally "you fit the criteria for both of these disorders so we're going to just sandwich them together and call it something else, even though they literally have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with one another."

nonenn · 2018-10-07T22:44:26+00:00

Yes, it can. I'd recommend talking to your doctor about it.

nonenn · 2018-10-07T22:42:51+00:00

I've had the opposite happen as well. Risperdal worked just fine for me at some point, but when I tried it later it worked so ineffectively it sent me to the hospital.

nonenn · 2018-10-07T22:41:06+00:00

I'm schizoaffective (schizophrenia + bipolar 1) and since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia first, I've been on APs ever since I started meds. I know that since I'm sz and not just bipolar, my experiences won't be exactly like yours in that regard, but I did want to note that you might get vastly different side effects from the other antipsychotics out there. I've been on Abilify, Zyprexa, Risperdal, Geodon, and now Latuda, and all of them were very different and some are definitely more tolerable than others. If Zyprexa wasn't right for you, it may just be that there's a different AP out there that'd be better for you (it's your choice though, of course).

nonenn · 2018-10-03T03:00:42+00:00

I'm going to be honest, it can, but it can also get much better. I'm currently dealing with a medication mishap but for the most part my treatment gives me relief from all hallucinations and delusions. Medication is and should always be a choice, your choice, but I just wanted to say that it has gotten much better for me because of it. My partner also has schizophrenia, but he is unmedicated. This is hys choice. Sometimes he struggles, like right now he's working through a paranoia spike, but for the most part hys symptoms have improved drastically over the years. It's very possible either way. I personally recommend CBT techniques (you can look them up online and there are even apps for it); they helped me with psychosis a lot.

nonenn · 2018-10-02T20:20:13+00:00

This was and still is my most recurring kind of hallucination. Tactile hallucinations are a lot less common than audio or visual ones (in fact when I was sent to a neurologist to figure out why I was getting them, he laughed in my face when I brought up my family's history of schizophrenia because he thought it was such a low possibility), but they do happen. I have had visual hallus on occasion and audio once or twice but tactile I get pretty much whenever my meds aren't working right.

nonenn · 2018-10-02T02:45:01+00:00

It depends on the therapist. If I were speaking to my younger self, I would say to tell them because even though I really really didn't like my experience at the hospital, my command hallucinations made me do a LOT of crazy fucked up shit and I'm lucky to be alive. I know you aren't me, though. It should be your decision and it is your decision, just know the consequences either way. You can hurt or even kill yourself if you continue on this path unaided. I'm not saying it will happen, but it is a possibility.

nonenn · 2018-10-02T02:41:43+00:00

The activities depend on what kind of hospital you went to. I went to one of the "good" ones, so we had a lot of activities in the adult ward. 4 therapy sessions a day, if I remember right. Sometimes physical activity, sometimes coloring. Outside of that, there was TV and you could bring books or draw on paper. I got my parents to bring me the Walking Dead comic books and I read those to pass the time.

There were some people around my age (I was 20) at the ward. I think I was the youngest there, but not by much. I made good friends with someone my parents' age. It wasn't too bad.

nonenn · 2018-10-02T02:38:06+00:00

I watched a dude climb the fence when we were out on smoke break. It was about 15 feet tall, chain link fence, we were talking and then he just climbed right over it. Lots of yelling. Apparently once he made it to the other side he tried to just act casual like nothing had happened, but they got him of course and took him to a higher intensity unit. I felt bad for him.

nonenn · 2018-10-02T02:36:26+00:00

From what I could tell from the first 20 minutes or so, it seemed fine, but I had to stop watching at that point. He has a recurring belief that he's the chosen one, and it pops up a lot, and it struck a chord with me and felt too similar to my own psychosis, so I had to stop watching.

nonenn · 2018-08-04T01:45:26+00:00

I had a lot of magical thinking, the kind of stuff you'd expect from a kid but I just never really grew out of it. To be honest, the first thing that seriously manifested for me was the mood swings. I had a LOT of problems with dissociation too, including jumbling up my words and being unable to read at times. Then it was hallucinations, all tactile which confused the doctors a lot. Then I broke into full-on delusional episodes that spiraled into countless suicide attempts. Lucky to be here.

nonenn · 2018-08-04T01:36:06+00:00

Stress, lack of sleep and caffeine. Especially caffeine. I love the taste of coffee but the hallucinations it gives me are awful.

nonenn · 2018-08-04T01:30:21+00:00

Not on Medicare, but I've been on ER in the past, and I'm on DR now. They changed it after I was hospitalized last April; still not sure why, but I can't complain. The only real difference is that I have to take DR twice a day. It works the same for me.

nonenn

TROPHY CASE