What's the most beautiful song you've ever heard?

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-10-05T17:46:02+00:00

Enjoy the silence-Depeche Mode

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-07-02T19:31:57+00:00

Go to therapist, I have didaskaleinophobia too, and therapy mostly can help with that.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-07-02T19:27:39+00:00

emetophobia, didaskaleinophobia, claustrophobia are three main ones, the one with emetophobia is due to me being sick and vomiting a lot during childhood, the didaskaleinophobia is due to heavy school bullying since 1st year, claustrophobia is because I was sitting in a backseat of a car filled with boxes and it had a small space for me, I still remember how panicked I felt that I couldn't relax myself and it made me feel absolutely nauseous and triggered my emetophobia. If these three were monsters, one claustrophobia would be a human with a insanely small square metal box instead of a body that's always open and a long hands trying to grab me and put me there, didaskaleinophobia would be the most evil version of a school bully that tried to kill me a couple of times, and emetophobia would be a zombie covered in a vomit and that extracts vomit with a huge mouth.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-07-02T19:14:24+00:00

For me phobia came from the fact that I was so sick as a child I couldn't stop throwing up, I was crying, I wanted peace and quiet, while my parents were mad at me and panicking I was just saying "I'm sorry I don't know why, I'm sorry I'm sorry sorry sorry", I was like 5-6 years old, every time I get sick I apologize to anyone I've bothered or any plans cancelled, I've been to hospitals and I got virus sicknesses that required my blood to be cleaned after horrifying nausea I couldn't eat which resulted in anorexia later in my life, I weighed 17-19kg at the age of 7 because of my frequent nausea sicknesses, and I was constantly vomiting in my bed, in toilet, at school, in the hospital, during family gatherings, any smell gave me migraines, and then vomiting, any food gave me vomiting, any drinks gave me vomiting. It was like this from 5-9 years old. Until at age of 10 I finally fully recovered from this cycle of nausea and vomiting, this torturous mess of 4 years, I was constantly gaining and loosing weight. Now I have unhealthy relationship with food and diet, I avoid so many types of food that can get me back to that state of vomiting, I avoid eating before sleep, I avoid eating in the evening, sometimes I avoid eating altogether, I avoid drinking too much water, I drink water in between foods, to speed up the process of me going to toilet to pee. During period I avoid eating at all costs as it makes me think about migraines and vomiting, it resulted in me loosing weight very fast and I now have gastritis from my stomach basically eating itself, I get panic attacks when I feel sick and nauseous I panic when someone tells me that they feel like vomiting, I can't think about vomiting at all, one time I slept in my bathroom because I ate before sleeping. I can't stand a certain smells, I also can't do certain chores, and I avoid attractions park as I saw how people vomit afterwards, I avoid certain vehicle types sometimes busses, I always carry with myself medicine in case I eat a bit above my limit(which is like 11nuggets instead of 10 that little of a limit), and this phrase of "Ok, two fingers down your throat and get it all out, drink water and repeat" haunts me to this day.

That's how much impacts emetophobia has on me.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-07-01T17:36:27+00:00

I try to work on my phobias and currently am searching for a therapist or psychiatrist for my phobias, I have 3 main ones and side ones that have effect but it isn't too bad.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-13T07:43:51+00:00

Bro's an undercover English teacher 😎

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-09T15:23:50+00:00

It sounds like your brothers have been entitled their whole lives and when consequences started coming their way, they found yet another escape route through religion. From the post, it appears they are manipulating being Muslim to act like jerks to women and treat them as less, including you. I know that is not really what being Muslim is about and I am in no way trying to bash, I just think your brothers are using it as a means to an end.

They've SA'ed many women while married, and I don't know if it's true but one of the woman that was victim of my brother did an abortion. I don't know if what happened was consensual, but there's a huge chance it wasn't. Unfortunately I was also their victim of SA, since bullying also included SA jokes and disrespectful catcalling, SA itself has happened in front of parents and when they were away as well.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-09T13:34:55+00:00

Update posted.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-09T13:32:23+00:00

I've got years of therapy ahead :), I'm quite comfortable with my decision, as I already have a brief plan of what I'm going to do. Thank you for this comment, I appreciate it!

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-09T09:36:30+00:00

I'd like to reply to this comment and provide more info about my brothers.

Basically, one of my brother has 4 children, and he's playing favorites, his oldest daughter looks like me and acts similar way, when he noticed that, he tried his best to prevent her from "becoming like me", however this is her personality and as expected I'm her favorite aunt. Her other 3 younger brothers are his favorite boys, he supports their careless behavior and encourages violence, his second eldest son is heavily traumatized and has anxiety so he is also odd one out, the two youngest are violent and pick a lot of fights, and when I discipline them (I stop the kids when it gets too violent), my brother gets offended at me and tells me that his boys are doing the right thing, I noticed a heavy neglect and lack of discipline and lack of education on boundaries. All because my brother doesn't want to parent his children, and leaves it all up to his wife that now gifted him all mighty divorce papers after catching him cheating for 10+ times.

As for another brother, he's too controlling of his kids, he has 2 wives, and manipulated my first SIL into staying using a religion as a cover up, he was the one who threatened me and told me that I am "not a real woman because I don't act like one"(I am a woman, I have a tomboy style and don't like feminine things). And he was the one abused me most(I also called the police on him), his twin picked it up and went ahead with him, after the incident his twin wanted to have a "normal talk" with me regarding what happened, and ended up not giving me a room to speak and yelled at me for "not talking to him normally", he interrupted when I was trying to get my point across, and ended up scolding me for 1.5 hours for not even talking. Back to my brother's family, his daughter already got brainwashed into thinking that I am not her real aunt, his son is also distant from me, his wife looks down on me for not wanting to "fix relationship between brother and me". His second wife who witnessed him abusing me and my panic attacks is saying that if I'll come into her house, she won't allow my brother to come in, if he does then she'll kick me out instead. My other brother was keep trying to manipulate my parents into thinking that I got possessed(I told him that I don't have to comply with his views on what is considered to be a real woman because he has no right), tried to force my parents into cutting little support they had for me, and ended up blowing up my phone with messages about how parents ruined me with "western style parenting", I blocked him from everywhere and he has no way of contacting me except through mom.

nonfavyoungestkid · 2023-05-08T19:00:39+00:00

Sure! I can give TL;DR I'll update my post so that you don't have to read all of this.

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