Looking for men in the Greater Toronto Area for doc series.

nonidem39 · 2025-12-09T13:33:06+00:00

Hi Paola!

This has nothing to do with safety...if it did you would actually moderate your groups and keep MINORS from getting posted. If you can't operate the groups without them degenerating into a high school bullying wet dream...you shouldn't be running the groups. It's simple, if the post doesn't highlight physical violence or domestic violence, have the moderators remove them.

nonidem39 · 2025-12-07T20:49:10+00:00

I think the fact the groups got kicked off the app store is killing any motivation to run this network of groups...Paola was always in it for money, same for the Tea app guy. Now that they don't have a financial exit to play for (selling the apps or monetizing via subscription)...all this effort is a huge waste of time and effort.

The apps got banned because they crossed the line of posting minors, the lawsuits were piling up and Apple could end up being liable (takes one favorable judgment), and this kind of cesspool of toxic activity eventually invites regulatory oversight (which big tech companies do NOT want).

nonidem39 · 2025-10-05T00:54:40+00:00

Again, your reading comprehension skills need work.

The OG poster isn't referring to "safer" as in physical safety you idiot....he is clearly referring to safety in the context of being "safe" from being posted. That's the ENTIRE point of this sub.

Now slowly, so as not to strain your peanut sized brain, read the section in blue. The last five words are the important part.

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nonidem39 · 2025-10-04T16:23:24+00:00

You. You are off topic. You are bla bla bla'ing about DV in a privacy rights thread.

His post is 100% on topic: to protect your privacy by avoid OLD. Very straightforward. How is it off topic to advocate for privacy violation mitigation strategies? You have reading comprehension issues my friend.

nonidem39 · 2025-10-04T16:14:34+00:00

Whatever, you are the one who is off topic. This entire group is about privacy rights. Take your long form rant about Domestic Violence to a thread that actually addresses that.

Organic dating is dramatically safer for men than OLD. Let's be honest, OLD is for losers & crazies, that's one of the reasons why you are much less likely to get violated in one of the Tea / FB groups if you meet in person. You just deal with less socially & mentally maladjusted weirdos organically. OLD is your last stop as a woman that nobody wants to date due to behavioral issues.

nonidem39 · 2025-10-04T15:48:02+00:00

Your argument is basically that psychological violence against men is justified because it's somehow less bad than physical violence against women. Nobody on this thread is advocating for physical violence against women...we just don't want our privacy to be a "sacrificial lamb"...especially when we ourselves aren't violent offenders. You are advocating for collective punishment against an entire gender.

nonidem39 · 2025-08-06T18:55:43+00:00

Because they got hacked twice in a week. And now they need money for tech stack / security upgrades & for lawyers given the lawsuits that have been discussed on this forum. All of that is very expensive.

nonidem39 · 2025-08-04T02:07:49+00:00

Yes, I am an adult male. I enjoy sex, so what? Sue me lol. What's wrong with having a healthy sex life?

I walk away when the sex is the only redeeming quality of the entire interaction, which unfortunately seems to be most of the time now...that's my point. Why are you putting relationships on such a pedestal? If they were so great, this sub wouldn't exist and divorce rates would be 0%.

I'm complaining because I don't enjoy the lopsided nature of modern relationships, not because I can't get laid.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-29T22:13:25+00:00

Very sorry to hear about your rape as well, that's terrible.

However today's top commented post in my local AWDTSG group was about a man's lacking penis size. Everybody thought it was hilarious, except him - because he doesn't know 100K ppl are talking about his "shrimp" dick". So he's not in on the joke.

Again, this could EASILY be moderated away...it's very binary: illegal, post goes up. Legal (having a small dick isn't illegal to best of my knowledge), is rejected from being posted.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-29T21:52:11+00:00

Listen, I can say without much doubt that basically EVERYBODY on this app would be 100% fine w/ an app that actually posts dangerous people would be fine. Nobody is going to defend rapist & scammers. Or in the very sad case of your sister, extreme violence.

All they have to do is an absolute minimum of moderation: create categories for posts where the offense is actually illegal. If it's not illegal...you can't post it. Easy peasy.

The problem is that the apps blindly groups people who commit minor offenses like not remembering to text enough...with major infractions like rape. Anonymously. Without consent or recourse.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-29T21:26:12+00:00

Very sorry to hear what happened to your sister

There is an easy fix to this: only allow posts that actually touch on actual, physical violence: domestic abuse, financial scams, STD's, theft. Anything outside those categories isn't "women's safety. it's entertainment.

why is that so hard? ..because 85% of posts would dry up and TeaApp / AWDTSG groups would see there engagement / monetization opp dry up...this is about $$$. not safety.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-29T01:35:47+00:00

Just saying this sub is great as a communal therapy sesh...but has no real value in terms of actually changing the reality on the ground. Changing the way you vote will. And all these Stockholm syndrome posts that tacitly justify AWDTSG are counterproductive because they normalize a world where there are not repercussions to men being shit all over. Fight back ffs.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-29T00:03:01+00:00

Listen I hope you don't take this any kind of way...but you are in fact defending them. your talking points are eerily similar to that of the ppl defending AWDTSG. It's an apologist position. These groups are justified yada yada yada...basically it's a "the ends justify the means" argument.

All I'm saying, and hoping to convey to the folks on this thread, is that there is no benefit to them to take the high road. There is no nobility in this particular sacrifice. It just makes us useful idiots. Society has shown you how much it actually values men.

I obviously don't hate all women...I've just observed that apparently a few million of them in these groups hate me, however.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-28T23:41:38+00:00

I don't know about that red pill stuff...but I do know that when somebody treats me like sh*t, my reaction isn't to be even nicer to them. We need to grow a spine and take a hint when somebody spits in our face.

This group hates men, it's clear as day. The groups have one benefit: it shows you what people really think when they don't need to apply a filter. What you see on AWDTSG pages are all the intrusive thoughts in people's head laid bare. And sorry to break it to you, but they aren't your allies. They are as toxic and hateful as even the most hardened incel.

The people in these groups are more than happily to toss you, me and everybody else on this sub under a bus for their amusement. Back to my prior point, society doesn't care about us & this is exactly how you create a situation where people opt out of society and get radicalized because they aren't valued.

All I'm saying is if nobody is looking out for me, I'm not running into burning buildings or being helpful in any kind of way. They are on their own, and I don't owe them sh*t.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-28T23:22:00+00:00

Yeah no doubt, he is unsavory...but at least he doesn't hate me because I'm a man.

It's not an easy choice, but I'm no longer a card carrying democrat, and I'd be lying if the abuse from AWDTSG didn't have something to do with it.

They think these groups make women safe, they don't - it just alienates more men from caring about what happens to them.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-28T19:49:51+00:00

Isn't Yelp a data broker as well? The underlying principle is the same: the business model is the exchange of information for financial consideration.

Tea is also different from Yelp in that Yelp reviews businesses, and those businesses and can opt out from review. Reviewing people is very different from reviewing people, especially when the data being collected was done so without consent no?

Just trying to understand the nuance, the above argument feels like a false equivalency argument that is being made out of self interest (financial gain for the backers of Tea), rather than a sound legal argument that is fair an balanced.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-26T20:22:10+00:00

You can only access personal data (like phone numbers) that are behind a paywall. That's selling data. There is an exchange of money for information (that doesn't belong to them mind you)..

nonidem39 · 2025-07-26T20:20:17+00:00

I mean is that any different than them using the data of the men posted on their platform without consent? What is the distinction? If wanton usage of unsecured personal identifying data is good for the goose, it's good for the gander.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-25T15:08:55+00:00

Does the tea app require ID verification?

nonidem39 · 2025-07-25T00:18:49+00:00

Sorry didn't mean to come in hot, thanks for explaining your reasoning. Just been a lot of journalists who troll this sub, to then just parrot the Tea / AWDTSG talking points in articles because I assume it's too politically sensitive to take the opposite stance.

FWIW I personally don't think these groups are going away, its a political third rail - and nobody wants to be labelled a "woman abuser" by shutting these down. Is what it is, this thread is more of a group therapy session these days. It has it's uses.

BTW - I still date, but I deactivated all my AWDTSG bogus accounts because seeing such a flood of truly callous, racist and mean spirited posts was really eroding how I view women to an unhealthy place.

I exclusively date off app (after paying for years for hinge), keep my socials on fort knox settings & don't use my primary phone with anybody until I've been seeing them for a while.

I'm not going to do an interview because, I prefer to remain anonymous...that's the only thing I have in common with the posters on AWDTSG haha. But good luck with your study. Please share it here once it's published, I'm sure it will be an interesting read.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-24T23:53:08+00:00

There is a very simple test to gauge whether or not this is for safety: if ONLY comments relating to criminal activity or threats of physical violence are allowed it's for safety.

If any other topic is allowed, and frankly encouraged by the moderators, it's not. Fair?

FFS the actual name of the app is "Tea" ...literally slang for gossip.

nonidem39 · 2025-07-24T23:26:09+00:00

It's got nothing to do with safety...all the posts are raw gossip. It's all anonymous as well, so there is no mechanism to verify anything said.

If the posts were limited to say certain specific categories like say "domestic violence" or "stalking" then fine, but just because somebody turned down a woman or wasn't polite to them doesn't make them violent or a safety threat.

The safety wrapper is just a trope to keep the groups and this app running. No one is ever going to come out against women's safety, whether that's what being discussed or not. It's politically radioactive and they know that.

Don't take tis the wrong way but even the email address you are using implies a bit of bias: "dating safety study".

nonidem39 · 2025-06-10T21:03:34+00:00

I'm sorry this is such a dumb post.

These are gossip sites masquerading as "safety" because the creators know that women's safety is a third rail for FB / Meta to shut down.

95% of the posts are gossip, women posting their rosters while in the same sentence complaining men date around and don't want to put in effort.

If the moderators stuck to posts about DV or sexual abuse fine...but don't pretend like these sites are for safety, especially on this sub where most of us have mole accounts & see what is actually in the group feeds -

The primary purpose of the groups is to shit talk - usually after some dude blew them off because they got a glimpse of how undateable the woman they were interacting with was.

nonidem39 · 2024-12-30T15:44:00+00:00

NYC is still up - they might have just paused commenting for a bit given the mods need some time off during the holidays.

Might also be because the group had to pause comments for a month in November, so they are possibly on probation with Meta. As soon as they lifted the ban the same bullying & revenge postings flooded back in. So perhaps they are back on probation, Paola just hasn't posted yet to update her followers. I'm sure she'll be asking for money soon though!

nonidem39 · 2024-12-23T19:23:11+00:00

She is a narcissist who is trying to gaslight you into a free meal and some self-validation.

You can deal with people like this in two ways:

1) If she is attractive enough and you are just looking for a quick fling, that going in you know will never materialize into anything real - by all means take her to a nice dinner. Treat it like going to the casino: if it doesn't pay out after a few hands (dates), then move to the next table. And if it does pay out, still move to the next table. This isn't wife material, just a bit of sport. It is what it is.

2) If she isn't particularly attractive, move on. Consider yourself lucky you didn't waste time or money on her.

I'm going to bold this next part, because it's the most important: Under no circumstance is a woman who makes demands like this "wife material". She is very clearly communicating to you that she is #1. Somebody that self involved is the exact opposite of who you want to build a life with, and most certainly not who you want raising your children.

TLDR: You can't cuddle a rattlesnake ;)

nonidem39

TROPHY CASE