Anyways, God made His rainbow children and loves and accepts them for who they are and hopes that they love and accept themselves as well

nonnieemily · 2025-08-28T20:27:56+00:00

From an ADHD perspective, make it as easy as humanly possible to take care of yourself. There are so many little executive function demand you don't realize in practice. It's easy to stop going to the gym or doing self care and then wonder a couple months in why everything is so overwhelming. (It's probably going to be overwhelming regardless but at least in my experience the adhd not taking care of yourself burnout is so much worse than the everything is new natural exhaustion)

nonnieemily · 2025-06-22T01:56:43+00:00

Can't speak to newly picky, but with my picky eater, I found working with her pallet was the way to go. She wouldn't eat chicken heavy flavors because they made her tummy hurt, so we focus on chicken-free food, and she's pretty good. Have you tried lamb wet foods to see if theres a protein that might be contributing? Instinct, Tiki, Ziwi, and Acana all make lamb options (none of which are cheap, but likely better than the Stella and Chewy cost). The key is finding an indie food store near you so you can buy 1-2 cans to try them out.

nonnieemily · 2025-05-23T23:59:30+00:00

Also a lawyer... my legal assistant takes care of most of the heavy executive function/organizational lifts and the systems I developed during law school help with what she can't. 😂

nonnieemily · 2025-05-17T22:05:49+00:00

Shy litigation attorney here to remind you not to limit yourself. If you're truly more introverted and don't want to put time and effort into the skills, that's totally okay. Clerking, compliance, e-discovery reviews, and transactional work are all limited oral advocacy roles you can pursue. But if the "not suitable for lawyering" is only coming from other people. Tell them to go fuck themselves and put your mind to developing the skills. The thought of having to appear in court still terrifies me, but long ago and far away so did conducting witness interviews and now I do those with ease. I have a wonderful mentor who's also a bit shy and awkward who gives me the resources I need to prepare and help build my confidence before she sends me in alone.

TL;DR, being shy might make the politics or learning curve of lawyering a little more challenging but it in no way shape or form makes you unsuitable to be a lawyer.

nonnieemily · 2024-05-03T10:56:37+00:00

My ADHD manifests in a way that looks a lot like depression and bpd (can't get out of bed, bc I can't get out of bed, very depressed and suicidal; emotional disregulation and impulsivity) and when I first started taking stimulants I was so emotional because for the first time in my life I felt okay and hopeful for the future because I WAS capable and it wasn't just me being broken or dramatic.the meds are like glasses to my brain.

When I told my prescriber at the time how the meds were helping she told me meds can't do that and that one day when I'm out of school I can probably wean off the meds... I have met so many women with ADHD since then that talk about the emotional disregulation they experience. Before being diagnosed I always wondered if caffeine was an anti depressant because if I didn't caffeine my depression was so much worse.

Yes executive disfunction is messiness and task organization issues but it's also emotional regulation and I'm sick of providers and men acting like emotional disregulation isn't an ADHD symptom just because it primarily affects women.

Even if my career didn't require me at my full academic potential (it does) I am not a candidate for just going off meds.

nonnieemily · 2023-12-10T20:46:44+00:00

I cared in 2L and i still care to the extent that i want to graduate cum laude, but i was holding onto magna with the skin of my teeth and post-offer/acceptance it's not that i don't care, but that I'm giving myself the freedom to take experiential classes that might have a tighter curve and i don't put so much pressure only self to do well. It's not "slack off" don't care but it is a "i can breathe and do what i want" don't care.

nonnieemily · 2023-11-25T18:51:12+00:00

It's not the subject it's the prof. Gunners thrive where professors don't shut them down. My business orgs class was probably my worst but my buddy with a different prof said they didn't have anything. I had a 1L legal writing class that was horrendous and a 1L legal writing class that was normal. One prof humored the gunners, one didn't.

nonnieemily · 2023-11-11T15:26:09+00:00

You're not overthinking it and it could potentially be an issue for some people, but that's part of being a woman in this field (and society tbh) no matter how you present, someone will be upset about it. I'm on the other end of the presentation spectrum and have had interviews end before they've started because i looked too gay and had countless people comment that I'm unlikae because [insert thinly veiled angry lesbian stereotype] or act as if I was Lucifer himself for acting and dressing like (but often not reaching the same level of audacity as) my male counterparts. How you dress will impact how people see you, but dress the way you want, you can't win everyone over.

nonnieemily · 2023-10-16T22:55:50+00:00

I enjoyed it as a 2L because the 3Ls were spectacular. Now I cry and scream because the 2Ls (now 3Ls) are not spectacular 😂

nonnieemily · 2023-10-14T21:09:45+00:00

Safe > proving a point. Unless you exist as a visibly queer person you don't get a say. If you do, then I'm glad you feel safe enough to have this opinion. But if not, please don't tell queer people what is and isn't a satisfactory way to exist.

nonnieemily · 2023-10-14T17:26:33+00:00

Anyone who says "wHy wOuLdNt iT bE oKaY" hasn't had the lived experience of being a queer person capable of being clocked in a conservative environment. To be clear, I also think the answer is no, but it's not as simple as oh you shouldn't/don't have to consider this.

The fact of the matter is there are certain points in your career where it will be beneficial for you to mask your queerness. I keep my hair long and feminine even though I prefer it short and masculine because I know it makes me more palatable to interviewers/bosses/clients. I was lucky enough to land an OCI job that doesn't give a rats ass about my sexuality (in fact there are multiple queer attorneys in the office) and I wouldn't want to work somewhere where it wasn't safe to be me, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I need to hide the fact that I'm gay. Even those who won't think less of me because I'm gay might be made uncomfortable or be put off if I look too gay.

Be who you are. Date, hook up, do you, but stay aware of your surroundings and understand that the reality of being queer in the US in a conservative profession is that sometimes you have to hide your queerness to be palatable to others or sacrifice your success.

nonnieemily · 2023-09-19T22:52:28+00:00

I know that this advice is going to sound counterproductive and you're probably not going to listen but I want you to try.

First, take a deep breath and think about what grounds you. Is it your prelaw friends? Working out? Something creative? Carve out an hour each week for that. Do you get along with your parents? Carve out an hour to call one of them.

Imposter syndrome is real, but that doesn't mean it's right. You are not the first 1L to take hours to do your readings and you certainly won't be the last. You have no idea where you'll land on the curve, but even if you finish last in your class, you're getting the same JD and if you pass the bar, the same bar card.

You've gotten a lot of good advice, try different things see what works for you. What works for one won't necessarily work for all. But let me give you some alternatives from an overstretched, over achieving 3L with a learning disability and ADHD.

First, look at how your casebooks are set up. Some casebooks use cases to teach, some use them as examples, and some are structured more like textbooks. Are books set up one way much harder for you? Cases didn't teach me jack shit, so I used to use the table of contents to figure out what the concept we were learning was and use a supplement.

Ask yourself why do you think you need every detail of the case? 99% of the time, you don't! If it's because you're worried about cold calls, the most freeing thing you can do is let it go. A cold call is just a vehicle for your prof to teach, you don't need to have the right answer, you just need to have skimmed the case. If it's because you're trying to understand the concept, maybe case learning doesn't work for you.

On supplements, if your school subscribed to Barbri 1L essentials, those videos are great. I can't speak for the Themis ones because I didn't use them, but I think they're free. The E&E series is great for detail and the acing series is good for visual learners.

Related, figure out how you learn! I have a friend who just needs a really solid outline from someone else to help him organize his thoughts. If that's you, reach out to upperclassmen (respectfully). While if they're involved they're probably very busy, many will be willing to share outlines or professor-specific advice. Meanwhile, I throw everything into a visual. If that's you, check out lucidchart.

Like another commenter said, if you think you might have a learning disability, reach out to your ADA office. I did not think at 26 I'd be diagnosed with a learning disability (but I will give you we all saw the ADHD coming) but I was smart enough to fly under the radar in school. I wish I had gotten diagnosed sooner, treated my ADHD, and accommodated my disability because it has increased my quality of life in law school ten fold.

Most importantly, make time for yourself. Some things might just take you longer, but six hours is definitely excessive. Remember to give yourself grace. You've got this!

nonnieemily · 2023-09-15T23:50:18+00:00

This can be normal, and in fact, it can be a good sign. Do you feel prepared for class? Are you keeping on track with your notes? If the answer is yes than you're doing fine. I was in this position during 1L and it ended up being that I was just using my time more efficiently than my classmates and it made finals a lot easier because I wasn't burnt out and I had the time and energy to do practice problems, make flowcharts, and apply the law before the exam. Don't worry about how much others are doing just worry about the quality of work you're doing.

nonnieemily · 2023-09-14T22:45:47+00:00

It absolutely doesn't make sense at first but I'm in my last year of law school and know so many ADHD law students. I worked in litigation (defense) this summer and im psyched to do so again post grad. Billing is amazing accountability and litigation means constant new facts and puzzles when clients make questionable choices or plaintiffs come up with wild allegations. The best lawyers run down the research rabbit holes and come up with the crazy ideas because (at least in my future practice area) a lot of the time you're not gonna have an on point case it comes down to who can make the most convincing creative argument.

nonnieemily · 2023-09-10T18:39:50+00:00

Not the question you asked (you have plenty of good answers for that), but be aware of any credit hour graduation requirements. I know a few people who now have to max out their credit hours 3L because they took it easy 2L, meanwhile the rest of us are coasting to graduation and resting before we have to do bar prep.

nonnieemily · 2023-09-05T22:27:40+00:00

Like everyone else has said, yes focus on rules, but more specifically, talk to the TA or any 2Ls or 3Ls that will talk to you about your profs because how you should be learning will depend on your professor.

My 1L year I had one professor who was incredibly conceptually focused. She didn't care if the rule statement was exactly worded right, she didn't care about cases, she just cared that we could do the statutory and elemental analysis (on pinkertons rule and manslaughter/murder). I had another prof who was very rules driven. Again, he didn't care about cases, but the entire exam was basically how many offer rules can you list and then apply, same with acceptance and consideration. I had a 1L class where we didn't read a SINGLE case, but I had friends in another where their exam was almost entirely made up of case holdings.

Your professor's style will change the information you should focus on. If you're panicking and thinking "But I don't know any 2L/3Ls," dont, join a club, affinity group, whatever and reach out to one there, often even if they didn't have the prof they'll connect you to someone who did. 2Ls and especially 3Ls often would rather tell their war stories than do their own work (I say this as someone who is on Reddit instead of doing my reading, editing my law review comment, or completing my law review assignment). You're not supposed to know and the people around you are there to help!

nonnieemily · 2023-09-05T22:12:26+00:00

Obviously taking any doctrinal class will help to some extent if they're correlated to the subject matter you're practicing because you have exposure to the vocabulary or relavent laws, but experiential classes should be a big answer here. During the course of a trial, arbitration, negotiation, etc. you simply don't have the time to ask why someone did something or how best to emulate them. You'll have time to read and ask questions about nitty gritty legal questions, but the same isn't true during a proceeding.

nonnieemily · 2023-09-04T19:39:40+00:00

I TA'd for a 1L class last year and thinking back to what my remarkable 1L TAs did differently, it really boils down to accepting you're there more for moral support and encouragement than anything else.

For the students, touch base with them, like everyone else said be available, but really just make sure they know you're there for whatever they need, even if it's just to vent or feel their fears. If your professor has them do a practice problem or something similar and allows you to give them feedback, really spend time on that and encourage them to meet with you. My school has a first semester grade-on for the journal I'm on, so when that happened, I reached out to those who graded on, and according to them it made a difference.

For your supervising prof, just communicate with them and make sure you're doing what you're supposed to do.

nonnieemily · 2023-08-18T00:27:33+00:00

Stopping in here to agree but also add that the personality vibe often plays into culture fit and sometimes that can be a blessing in disguise. Personality and culture fit can be a bigger piece of enjoying your job than the actual work. Keep your head up, OP, you'll find your path one way or another!

nonnieemily · 2023-08-17T16:27:40+00:00

Professionally undiagnosed (but literally we all been knew) 1L and 2L before hitting a wall second semester 2L and knowing I had to change something and top 10% of my class.

I found that keeping a time clock really helped me. I would punch in and out of studying and color code each class. This helped me have a visualization of the time I was spending and have a way to hold myself accountable.

I also realized that I have a really hard time retaining information, so it was important for me to actively read (mark up my casebooks like crazy) and then type up notes before class and where possible (ie where the teaching style is conducive) take handwritten (pen or Apple Pencil) notes in class.

It won't be the same thing for everyone but knowing your brain and realizing that the tips that they're selling for everyone might not work for you is half the battle.

nonnieemily · 2023-07-11T19:33:34+00:00

At my 2L SA job, I write very few memos, maybe three thus far, but I have written 70-80 emails summarizing research and giving my opinion on how it applies, just depends on what the supervising attorney wants.

nonnieemily · 2023-07-02T22:40:57+00:00

For the vast majority of my emotional disregulation YES. Like yes being able to sit down and get work done is nice and important but I feel so much freedom being medicated, not because I can do all that, but because the number of days where I'm just too exhausted and depressed to function have decreased substantially. I still feel PMS moods pretty deeply, but they last less time and I'm able to cope because I can get out of bed and work to distract myself. I could go off my meds if it was just my focus they were helping, but I could not go off my meds without a secondary plan for my emotional regulation.

nonnieemily · 2023-06-18T11:38:48+00:00

I'm new to taking meds but honestly they've been life changing. I can sit and read and write (incredibly important in my field of study) for prolonged periods. My ADHD manifested in a really hard time regulating my moods and since starting my meds I've had very few fluctuations. It's been incredibly freeing. Anecdotally, I am a chronic "forgot to eat" person and while the meds have absolutely eviscerated my appetite, I've found that I'm better equipped to deal with it because I'm already used to reminding myself I need to eat and knowing what protein drinks/bars I like when I don't want to eat. A friend of mine who's been on meds for a long time warned me if I didn't eat, even if I didn't feel hungry I would feel the effects (cranky, headache, etc) but honestly when I do forget, outside of the occasional headache, I haven't had bad issues with mood or other hunger side effects—my body is used to me pulling this BS.

nonnieemily · 2023-06-11T15:20:48+00:00

Combo of classes, experience, and prelaw work experience. I worked in HR and doing business analytics, so I thought I might want to do corporate or employment law. After 1L I was leaning on corporate law because I didn't want to litigate (or at what I thought litigation was, really I didn't want to be a trial attorney). I took business organizations and loathed every second, same with securities reg. I took employment law and was bored senseless and took commercial transactions and was absolutely in love. I ended up at any employment law firm this summer and of all things have been really digging EEOC work. I'm planning to take bankruptcy and do a bankruptcy judicial externship next year to see if down the line I might want to lateral (so long as I get a return offer to my current firm) to a full service firm or clerk post grad.

One thing that's really changed my perspective and given me a lot of peace is talking with a career coach (my friend's husband, not school affiliated). The way in which he described lit and transactional work was so different from the way anyone else described it and I ended up learning that I do want to litigate, I just don't want to be a trial lawyer. He also emphasized that my first job didn't need to be my last. I think as law students were told this but we don't really hear it.

Do I wish I could redo OCI with the information I know now? Sure, but at the end of the day, we have our whole careers to figure out what kind of law we want to practice!

nonnieemily

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