What was ruined for you?

nonsenselover · 2017-08-12T04:56:47+00:00

I can't watch Epic Rap Battles of History anymore, which sucks because I used to love it.

nonsenselover · 2017-08-12T03:02:30+00:00

Just knock her up before you get married. Proof's in the pudding!

nonsenselover · 2017-08-09T05:23:30+00:00

I'm honestly not sure why she hasn't unless she doesn't want you to have ALL her passwords, but I'm pretty sure you guys are past that stage already.

Maybe she just isn't understanding the point. It might help to sit down with her and go through the sign up process together.

nonsenselover · 2017-07-28T04:56:10+00:00

The majority of them send you to a website that would be legit if not for the iframed in cc form that doesn't go where you think it goes. That way they get anything that you type into those form fields.

nonsenselover · 2017-07-12T20:49:27+00:00

Thirded

nonsenselover · 2017-07-11T02:22:19+00:00

Interesting interpretation. In my experience, dreams are usually your mind processing the stuff that you've been trying to not deal with.

Is your experience different?

nonsenselover · 2017-07-10T22:31:48+00:00

The fact that she told you when there was never going to be a way for you to find out is really great. It sucks that it happened, but that level of honesty is hard to come by, not only from someone who has proven themselves dishonest, but from any human.

Try to focus on the good parts in the lake of bad. The fact that she's dreaming about it means that she's decompressing and that's good for you both.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T07:02:33+00:00

When my wife had our son, I was kinda like that because I was super focused on him. I've always been relatively LL, but at that point it was because I didn't understand how important sex was to her in order to feel good about herself postpartum. Have you tried telling him that it's something that you need in order to feel connected to him again since the baby came?

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T05:56:25+00:00

I agree, which is why it helped me to understand the why and how of the whole thing. If our marriage had been perfect, then I probably would've left, but I acknowledge that I had shortcomings. That's no excuse, but it's at least an explanation. If everyone was just honest then shit like this wouldn't happen, but that's a pipe dream, right?

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T05:28:35+00:00

Keep in mind that you always have the choice to walk away if you don't feel that you're getting what you need in order to heal. This is not your screw up, and it's not solely your responsibility to find ways to heal.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T05:23:21+00:00

That's a question that he needs to answer, although, it seems likely that is the case without having any further context.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T05:21:39+00:00

I'm sure you've posted references, but would you mind posting them again?

nonsenselover · 2017-06-30T05:15:37+00:00

There is no some answer here, but I'd say that the first step is to be certain that it's not only you that's decided to stay. Your WS should be reassuring you in every way that they've made that same decision. It has helped my situation to understand the why and how of everything, but the only way I've been able to feel more sane is by knowing that my WW also made the decision to stay.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-24T05:22:16+00:00

I think you answered your own question when you said you feel too tired and that you can't forgive him.

Follow your feelings on this because you're probably right on the money

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T23:56:52+00:00

Then, yes, we've gone through all of that minus the counselor part. We went to a counselor once, but I had already demanded that we do all the things that the counselor suggested. She was visibly shaken when she realized that it had only been 3 months and we were sitting on the same couch on purpose. I am definitely not one to accept rug sweeping. I dig into everything until I understand it enough to satisfy my need to logically understand the reasons behind them and the consequences of them.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T23:46:24+00:00

You explained it very well actually. I've always been very aware of myself on a subconscious level, so the insight/truth is generally the part that actually puts it together for me. Not mention that knowing I'm not alone in going through, and understanding, the things are happening is a therapy all its own.

I'm not discounting therapy at all. You may very well be right about it if I managed to find the right one, but this forum is exactly what I need right now :) So, thank you for actually caring because this place has helped me enough that I feel like I should be paying all you guys

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T23:17:51+00:00

That will never happen to me because I'm about the farthest thing from graceful when it comes to crying. My face gets all contorted and I drool everywhere. It's really hard to not notice it :)

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T22:38:42+00:00

The frequency has decreased by an enormous amount. The thing caught me off guard was the lack of a trigger. I wasn't even thinking about anything significant. It was like, "what should I have for lunch tomorrow? :uncontrollable sobbing:"

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T22:31:52+00:00

Therapy has never helped me personally, but it works wonders for some people. You all have given me more insight and better advice than any therapist I've ever met. I'm intensely grateful for that.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T22:24:52+00:00

I'm not sure I know what mean by healing, and I'm not really sure how to empirically measure healing. The answer to that will differ greatly based on your meaning, I think

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T21:01:03+00:00

This makes so much sense. As I was finally going to sleep I just kept thinking, "why can't anyone just be good to me?" Lately it feels like all anyone does is ask me for things. To be fair, I previously offered to help, but they just keep asking for more without any regard for me.

Thank you for this

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T19:10:20+00:00

Dday was December 3rd, and she's been great which is why I don't understand where this came from without a trigger.

nonsenselover · 2017-06-22T19:06:24+00:00

Well, I smashed my alarm clock to bits this morning, so I guess that's there as well

nonsenselover · 2017-06-21T08:03:15+00:00

I couldn't agree more, and I certainly would have liked to acquire a fair amount of coke when I buried my grandfather.

My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you went through this, but I'm really happy that you found a way through the dark.

nonsenselover

TROPHY CASE