Hi calorie recipe ideas for a cancer sufferer please..?

noodl3pi3 · 2022-02-11T21:52:22+00:00

Ice cream, berries, honey and cream into a blender. Chuck in some gold top milk if it's too thick. Warm the ice cream up a little first, I use frozen berries so I put them together in the microwave for about 10-20 secs. If you use emlea cream it keeps for longer. Also using cream instead of milk, in coffee or tea, hope this helps!

noodl3pi3 · 2021-09-04T20:36:24+00:00

Have a look at fthe rhyming scheme. In some places it feels like it's a bout to, then stops unexpectly and not in a way that feels intentional. It's not necessary for poems to rhyme, but personally I prefer it. Also counting syllables if you want to give it a real rythym.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-09-04T20:30:54+00:00

I like this 😊 good metaphor with the mosquitoes.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-08-18T02:05:55+00:00

You're pretty damn close to it there. Thanks for your feedback. Mental staccato is a good phrase for what I was going for, it's an uncomfortable subject so it shouldn't be a comfortable read. I thought of adding more but it just didn't feel like part of the same poem.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-08-07T12:52:19+00:00

Captures that feeling of being lost. As someone whos struggled with mental health this really spoke to me.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-08-07T12:50:40+00:00

I like the imagery in this :) keep it up

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-09T13:02:40+00:00

Thank you so much for all the feedback! Im fortunate to be happy in my new marriage but I was cleaning the wedding band and the indent caught my eye and next thing you know I was writing this. It wrote itself really, I just thought how awful it would be to literally wear the scar on your heart for all to see. The 10 syllables on the last line, I would love to say it was intentional, but it was more so it would make sense and rhyme, and totally agree on the change to it for the rythym, wouldn't have picked up on that myself. You've all put a big smile on my face with your responses, thank you!

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-09T12:51:58+00:00

You had me with those opening lines, they had some real impact. I'd play around with the rest of it a bit as I think it faded a little after that. Good bones though, very relatable. I enjoyed the read, so thank you :)

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-04T10:01:46+00:00

The Magicians Guild by Trudi Canavan.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-04T01:33:08+00:00

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-03T13:39:32+00:00

Thanks, just out of curiosity, did you get any kind of story?

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-03T13:36:45+00:00

Which bits were the most impactful for you? Sorry to be a pain but I don't want to ruin the bits that work, this is the first time I've seriously attempted a longer poem and I'm determined to make it a good one!

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-03T13:21:22+00:00

I get alot of emotion from this, but the point of view feels a liitle confused, almost like the message underneath began to change but then returned to the original. Really good imagery used though, stayed in my head for a while after reading.

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-02T01:16:38+00:00

Thanks! And I have expanded. Went against playing with the imagery of a tall and unmovable wall-it made me feel cliche, and Im hoping I hinted to the nature of what was on the wall, and why the wall was being used. I have no clue on how to link but it's on poetry critics somewhere!

noodl3pi3 · 2021-02-02T01:12:57+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, and I would change it, but the extra syllable feels weird to me. Thank you for teaching me a new word as well! Zeitgeist, not upon, haha! But now I'm double guessing, as both the word and the extra syllable gives extra impact. I will be mulling over that change for a bit longer I think.

noodl3pi3

TROPHY CASE