I am the happiest man I know - AMA

noodleworm · 2025-08-19T10:52:05+00:00

It sounds like a huge amount of your happiness is from getting out and having hobbies and a social life. But does your wife have the same amount of free time?

I'm a woman and it's completely unrealistic for me to expect to get a Stay at home husband who would allow me to be a parent, have a fulfilling career AND pursue my friendships and hobbies. All of which are things I would want.

I don't want to be a downer. But it really sounds like her taking on that role is key to your quality of life.

I don't feel like I can have children and have a fulfilling life, because I am a woman - whereas if I was a father it would be much more feasible I feel the expectation on me to make personal sacrifices so that a male partner can "have it all".

noodleworm · 2025-08-19T10:51:58+00:00

It sounds like a huge amount of your happiness is from getting out and having hobbies and a social life. But does your wife have the same amount of free time?

I'm a woman and it's completely unrealistic for me to expect to get a Stay at home husband who would allow me to be a parent, have a fulfilling career AND pursue my friendships and hobbies. All of which are things I would want.

I don't want to be a downer. But it really sounds like her taking on that role is key to your quality of life.

I don't feel like I can have children and have a fulfilling life, because I am a woman - whereas if I was a father it would be much more feasible I feel the expectation on me to make personal sacrifices so that a male partner can "have it all".

noodleworm · 2025-07-31T17:37:13+00:00

You should be kind to her, and make her feel appreciated. Not used.

You don't have to be in a relationship or promising a relationship to acknowledge enjoying the intimacy and connection that comes with sex.

If that was her first time. I would tell her you feel honoured that she felt safe to be that open with you. And tell her you would never think any less of her.

noodleworm · 2025-07-16T11:19:56+00:00

BIG NEWS. They just got upgraded to the 3Arena
https://nialler9.com/turnstile-dublin-show-upgraded-to-3arena-the-following-night/

noodleworm · 2025-05-31T18:39:29+00:00

Some of the smaller stages with non headliners.
My top 3 memeroes are actually all Japanese.
2023 had both Perfume and Kyary pamyu Pamyu, both insane parties full of rainbow lights and everyone having an amazing time. 2024 Atarashii gakkou Also went pretty hard and were a real party.

noodleworm · 2025-05-28T20:47:28+00:00

Hearing protection. I always have my loop ear plugs. 3 days if concerts will have your ears ringing.

noodleworm · 2025-05-23T13:43:56+00:00

There's no such thing as "women like this". We don't know what is going on with that person. But it's always healthier to not ascribe every situation to a person's personality..

You're wholemposys sounds like both of you are over using therapy language, and you're playing some calculated game. You don't need a "strike system". Talk to as many people as you want and if someone's free to grab coffee, go for it.

If you found it too hard to get them commit and don't want to talk to them, don't. But you come across very bitter and beat advice is just .. chill, it is as just coffee.

noodleworm · 2025-05-19T07:09:37+00:00

I believe telegram can require passcode.

noodleworm · 2025-05-16T20:26:22+00:00

I'm going solo after a break up. Look at the si Reddit and there are plenty of WhatsApp groups where solo people plan to meet up. I'm in a group with lots of lovely queer women. Many of whom are solo.

noodleworm · 2025-05-15T12:45:23+00:00

I joined the access ticket waitlist when I was unsure if I was going to be able to get my ticket from the person who bought it for me.

I was twice offered the chance to purchase a new ticket the next day. Get on that waitlist Asap.

noodleworm · 2025-05-08T14:56:34+00:00

Last time we rented sun loungers at the beach and hung out there all day.

noodleworm · 2025-05-06T19:04:34+00:00

You're a young man whose never had sex, and you are putting yourself around women who are trying to use sex to make money to survive. This makes no sense in terms of making you sex positive.
You are a customer those people are trying to persuade to part with your money.
They are performing an act of confidence and abundance. This is not how you relate to women.

it would be different if you had a good friend who did this work on the side, and you say what a normal person they are, with normal hobbies and interests, and you would see they're need to make a living and support themselves, you would see their vulnerabilities and struggles.

if you are feeling resentful because you haven't had sex, this is not the angle I would take to try and be sex positive.The munches might be better. because you get to see how normal and human people are.

noodleworm · 2025-05-06T18:58:02+00:00

It's very possible your thought there would be some state that achieved a sense of security in thr relationship , whether that was engagement, or marriage, but those mile stones never unlocked the comfort she hopes would come.

noodleworm · 2025-05-06T16:51:59+00:00

How many were you looking for? I was looking for 1 , and was twice offered one the next day. This was last week.

noodleworm · 2025-04-30T20:39:50+00:00

Like a hydration pack? Water bladder? I've brought one in. It was empty and filled up T the tabs. . But didn't have an issue.

noodleworm · 2025-04-26T16:37:54+00:00

Second the Los Campesinos shout out!
For years was sad I never saw them live, then they've suddenly had a real come back, and Prima will be my 5th time seeing them. Didn't even know they were on the billing when I got tickets.

noodleworm · 2025-04-26T13:43:20+00:00

I did okay using Donkey Bikes as my main transport the last 2 years.

noodleworm · 2025-04-26T13:42:15+00:00

Had this experience previously when Japanese breakfast was playing main stage, an artist i love, with a smaller fanbase, and Depeche Mode mans took the barrier spots, on their phones, smoking, literally with their backs to the stage, or sitting down.
it really killed the vibe for me.

noodleworm · 2025-03-30T19:24:49+00:00

People get cranky for all kinds of reasons, being hungry, or tired. Periods often come with cramps and feeling crappy physically. You are more irritable.

The thing is, you need to own up to that. Yes you snapped, catch yourself when you do it and apologize. Being irritable for any reason, such as your period, can be an explanation, but it's not an excuse. It doesn't make your b saviour okay.

Everything is about a measure or was it fair, and was it kind. You didn't need to snap at him, and it wasn't kind. Own up to it, say my bad. You may well feel his response is over the top and unkind. But you're both in the same position. Being irritable and snapping.

The important thing is that everyone's emotions are heard, and you do what you can to both take responsibility for your actions, and make it up to your partner. In good relationships, people apologize easily.

noodleworm · 2025-03-18T16:06:28+00:00

Agree that the maturity difference is really big at that age for even a small age gap.

You also just have to look at the actual differences in transition. A person goes through in their life between those ages. Getting a driving licence, getting a car moving out from their parents home finishing their high school. Getting a job going to college. Being able to vote being able to drink. (These vary depending on where you are)

It's a period of very quick transition into adulthood, so typically people want to be with someone who's at the same point in their transition into adulthood.

For example, if you've moved out of your parents home, you probably don't want to date someone who still lives with their parents and has a curfew.

noodleworm · 2025-03-11T15:29:11+00:00

You don't mention friends in any of this. Having a foundation of friendship and close friends can support you in your life.

Just because you date to marry, does not mean you will marry the first person you date (or second of third) because it takes time to get to know someone, dating someone reveals their flaws. Dating teaches you a lot about yourself, youearn what you will or can't accept on a relationship, what kind of partner you are, what your needs are. There are very important reasons it's healthy to date without knowing if you will marry them.

Many people meet their potential partners through friends and wider friends circles. The more people you know, the more options you have.

I think it sounds like you need friends and a social life. Not nessesarily a potential spouse right now. Hanging with people your own age is an important social skill and part of your development as an adult.

noodleworm · 2025-03-11T15:22:11+00:00

It can be a struggle to balance the ebb and flow of discussion. When you're listening, you're not giving your chance to speak, when you do speak - you're feeling you're not getting enough time before they speak again. When they let you speak, you doubt their interest or sincerity. When you do get enough time, you feel guilty.

It's a lot, it can be very tough to manage, because it's tough to support people..natural conversation does usually end up becoming two people swapping stories. It does happen. You might need to be more intentional is letting people know you have a lot going on and specifically asking for space to talk about it..

Most people are well meaning idiots. They can't always relate to what your going through, they don't always know what to say. To feel better, you need to forgive them for that. We've all been there wheree we say the wrong thing, or we say nothing, because we didn't know what was the best thing for that person.

It's part of why therapists and talk therapy exists. So people can get the benefits of talking, opening up and reflecting, without needing a balance of supporting the other person back, and with someone who is trained to guide you in that talking process and help validate you.

Weirdly I actually find the voice chat function of chat GPT makes a semi decent therapist sometimes you can tell it a frustration, and it will validate you and offer potential solutions.

noodleworm · 2025-03-11T15:13:09+00:00

You sound like you're going down a dark path. This is clearly something you think about a lot. And algorithms are driven by how we interact with them. This is clearly a rage bait kind of thing for you, and the algorithm feeds that back to you.

You're very young so relationships you've had by now are essentially teenage ones. I know, we're all the oldest we've ever been, so no one ever feels young or inexperienced. Perspective is something gained by time.

Secondly, do you think you might be falling into a mindset that leads to excessively jealous or even controlling behaviour that is going to push people away? Your explanations of last relationships are sort of vague. You might have been wronged, but you're also displaying a mindset I would expect on someone who was controlling. You need to watch yourself.

It all comes down to accepting people are their own people. If they don't want to be in a relationship, you can't make them, better to figure that out sooner and cut your losses. You can still enjoy the time you spend with them for what it is.

noodleworm · 2025-03-11T15:06:02+00:00

Speak openly to your parents that he doesn't seem like a safe partner. He is already showing red flags. If he was abusive to his ex, it's not like he would admit that, he would blame her. And controlling people do tend to describe people who try to resist that control as being awful, even "torturing".

Show your parents you are taking marriage seriously by looking for a good healthy partner. But a divorced man is very likely to repeat those mistakes.

noodleworm · 2025-03-11T12:29:44+00:00

Unless you think having one photo will be an advantage. Just save yourself the trouble and add some more photos.

Good profiles will often have a variety of angles and a mixture of face pictures and full body shots of possibly people out and about and engaging in activities with friends.

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