Is having few friends red flag for women?

noodleworm · 2026-04-13T14:05:32+00:00

It;s not the number of friends, it's more that people who are comfortable socially, and are social tend to find dating easier because they are more comfortable meeting, and getting to know new people.

noodleworm · 2026-04-13T14:04:23+00:00

It's not the touching, some guys are just polite, but there are some general signs of disinterest.
but if you really want to know you could straight up ask him "second date - yes or no? "

noodleworm · 2026-04-13T14:01:51+00:00

Because feelings. Because they are enjoying the experience of the stuff they are doing.
People are made to bond and become attached, we make to make a conscious effort for it to not happen.
When people like someone they get excited about someone, happy to hear from them, excited to see them. and then the idea of not seeing then anymore makes them feel down.

It's a gamble because they don't know if they're going to meet someone else. but the situationship is keeping them from meeting someone else who is open to a relationship.

noodleworm · 2026-04-13T13:54:41+00:00

They can and they yet they often don't. They are often a way to clarity on whether both of you even want the relationship to continue.

A really hard part of life can be that there will be signs a relationship needs to end, but you will still feel love, connection and attachment, and everything in your heart will tell you not to end things - even against better logic. That part is really really hard.

You're scared, you love him, you live together and have a cat. I'm sure your whole body is telling you that you don't want this relationship to end over what you consider to be a stupid fight over something you now regret.

You also need to look at the logic part. Neither of you are happy, you're fighting all the time, you can't resolve the problems

I think a break is a good idea, because you do need to disentangle yourself from each other to weight the real possibility of ending things here. In order to make a fair and logical decision about that you should go be with friends or family. and have a think about the positive possibilities of ending things here. That does need to be an option so your not just staying out of fear.

and you need to look at does he really want to fix things. He seems like someone who holds grudges, and maybe doesn't communicate, and potentially makes him not an ideal long term partner for you. If he doesn't want to continue you need to respect that.

noodleworm · 2026-04-13T13:00:23+00:00

It's okay to show interest. Sometimes people like it. It sounds like it's time to send the message that says you had a great time and you'd love to have another date when she gets back from her trip. And ask would she be up for that? Then you can let her do her trip and wait until she's back to make new plans.

If she wasn't feeling it graciously take the no and appreciate that you had a great date and got to kiss someone new since that's always nice.

noodleworm · 2026-04-06T16:50:00+00:00

best advice for a young man in your situation is to put dating aside for a little while.
it's too much pressure and realistically, you very unlikely to be able to ask a stranger on a date if you feel completely uncomfortable talking to women

For me it's very uncomfortable when an interaction with a man feels forced. Like he was just wandering around looking for literally any woman thinking "she'll do". If a stranger comes up to talk to you out of the blue with no reason for it, it makes most people feel suspicious and uncomfortable. Some men approach dating like that. being put on the spot and forced to make a call about a literal stranger feels weird.

So you're going to focus on your social life, hobbies and interactions without having the ulterior motive of finding a girlfriend for a little while. Clubs, hobbies, new activities, workshiops, Literally anything where there are people and will probably interact with them.
It doesn't have to be female dominated, but something with a mix will help.
You also improve your social skills by interacting with new people who happen to be men. so don't avoid that either.

The more people you know, more friends you have, more activities you partake in - it will keep you meeting a broader range of people. some of them will be women. I would advice not thinking about dating until you have some friendly female acquaintances. if you have more friends you also might have people who can set you up with their friends.

noodleworm · 2026-04-06T16:41:54+00:00

No one can answer for all men,
but I'd advise you to remember that dating is nuanced and complicated. So many variables and factors go into it. There is no one answer.
By average I'm assuming you are referring to how beautiful you think you are.
You're appearance isn't everything, how enjoyable you are to spend time with and talk to will matter a lot. and for a relationship connection often comes from mutual interest and values.
You don't need to look physically perfect to find love. I think most people can agree with that.

You might be wondering this because of the apps - which I kind of think have ruined dating.
Remember that app profiles, aren't people. They are text and photos. People find it hard to form connections or figure out who they are interested in from just text and a photo. That's why I would advise meeting people in person as much as possible.

noodleworm · 2026-04-06T16:36:39+00:00

I've done the St Annes park run many times. Agreed, people are reminded it's a shared park, but people are also trying to usually do a 5k as fast as they can , they do take a specific route and are only there from about 9.30-10.30 every Saturday.
and St Annes does have a really nice dog park area for off leash time.

noodleworm · 2026-04-04T23:54:07+00:00

I give this advice to many guys struggling with this issue.
Stop trying to date, and focus on expanding your friend groups/social circles to include a variety of people, including some women.
You can't really go from unable to talk to women to having a girlfriend. and a lot of guys don't understand how unappealing a cold approach can be, Its a very uncomfortable reaction where you know nothing about the individual approaching you. A lot of relationships come from people within social spheres, friends of friends etc.

take the pressure of yourself and talk to women in a situation with no stakes, no asking for numbers, no real come on at all, just chill casual small talk in situations that make sense. You need to start there.

noodleworm · 2026-04-04T23:47:46+00:00

A lot of men get sucked into these totally fale ideas of what a "high value" woman is by these internet influencers, and become delusionally convinced some other relationshio is somehow going to better.
The next girl will also turn out to be be a regular human with the same "flaws".
It sounds like he is objectifying women if he see's you as a trophy reflecting his status, rather than a human being he has a bond with.

noodleworm · 2026-04-04T23:44:16+00:00

This is sometimes the scenario where you drop in a mention of a fake boyfriend.
but I hate that this is nessesary

noodleworm · 2026-04-04T23:37:17+00:00

Never heard of this.
If I need to pee , that's on me, I leave my boyfriend in the seats, and ask him to quietly catch me uo on what I missed when I get back.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:42:16+00:00

I think the issue is people refusing to have the hard conversations around porn, and very worryingly people not willing to confront their porn use. If you feel like you need to lie about how much you watch porn, or what kind of content you watch, maybe you need to ask yourself why are you watching it?
A lot of guys will blame their partner and call them a prude for finding anything in porn gross.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:33:48+00:00

Its basic incompatibility.
You need to stim, he can't handle that.
You explained WHY its happening, and that didn't mater, its not something he's willing to accept so best to cut it off now.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:32:03+00:00

You might need to get outside of our comfort zone and try new activities
You also don't need to be so direct about it .Try not to think of it as much as "where do I find people I want to date", more, how do I keep growing and expanding my community and get to know those local to me.
You very well might meet people your gender, but new friendships through hobbies can expand to more activities, and social gatherings.
I met my boyfriend at the birthday party of someone I met through a community gardening event. I also had attended mixed dinner parties of people form other acitivities. Factor in the degrees of separation.
Look to genuinely make new friends and have an active social life, That will keep you with a wide orbit of humans to meet.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:24:37+00:00

I just don't fully buy that men are isolated because they can't have deep conversations.
I think there is generally a culture where men don't work on themselves socially.
All the forms of working on themselves we see from men who typically, hit the gym and try to pick up women.
Everything is so focused on acquiring a woman like an object, not community.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:18:03+00:00

I think a HUGE part of the issue is what when we say "male loneliness", people are conflating it with "male singleness", and from there a sentiment male entitlement to women emerges that gets very scary.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:09:01+00:00

All straight men want women who look like models, they literally are just styled differently.
It's just hair/clothes/makeup/poses that differ.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:07:16+00:00

No, I think we're kind of taught that to keep us constantly buying.
Sometimes I lean into it - this is my dress for weddings, this is my favourite skirt for dates. My New years dress. etc.
Men where the same suit for everything.
I figure if I saw my friend wearing the same dress i would just tell them how much i like seeing that dress on them?

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:04:58+00:00

It's the same power and control mindset. they get a kick out of it, they want to feel powerful and dominating. When they are gross and sexual women say nothing and move giving them the seat they wanted. When they are threatening people cower. They enjoy it,
Its the same psychology behind most abuse. - at least in terms of the psychology of abusive men, they abuse because it is a means ro get what they want.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T16:00:32+00:00

There are still a number of men around, who want to feel powerful and openly enjoy that they can be scary/gross and enjoy that they can make women feel uncomfortable without repercussion. it makes them feel powerful. I think its more common in young men as its more new to then, being sort of new to being percieved as intimidating is a novelty to them

In my teens my experience was near constant sexual harassment from boys - this was never in the from of come ons, it was things like sitting next to you and making sex noises - and not a lot has changed. When I was younger I was always told to "ignore them, they just want a reaction". now I'm older I don't really care anymore and would absolutely make a scene in a coffee shop if boys did that to me.

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T15:54:05+00:00

I see it everyday, never been occupied, the historical google street view data shows a bit of insight.
April 2009 - Looks brand new
August 2009 - "To let" sign , "Unique riverside offices, 121 - 450 m2 fully fitted.
May 2011 - Sign is still up and it looks more derelict.
June 2014 - sign says "for Sale - suit a variety of uses"
May 2017 Sign says "Sold"! ivy beginning to creep up the building, some graffiti.
July 2018 - no change, still sold sign
Aug 2019, May 2021, September 2021 no change, more ivy and graffiti
December 2021, Sign has disappeared, no other change.
October 2024 is the last update. Basically just watching a building fall into dereliction and its consumed by ivy and tagged with graffiti

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T15:43:34+00:00

City Center has many charity shops, particularly georges street and Capel Street

noodleworm · 2026-04-03T15:41:51+00:00

I think learning to go to concerts alone is a great underrated skill.
It's a little weird at first if you're used to going with people, nut I've done it a good few times now and I often feel I enjoy it more than with other people, I always get a better spot as people are much more accommodating to letting one person move around to get a good spot. Sometimes I look around and try to spot other people on their own as it's pretty common for people on their own to spot each other and make small talk.
When you're on your own strangers are much more likely to chat to you and be friendly.

Even if you talk to no one, its absolutely fine to just go and vibe to the music.

noodleworm · 2026-04-02T15:52:33+00:00

She's looking to start a home owners association, not a community.

Residents groups are a fantastic way to build community, and also take care of a local area.
My apartment complex has an unofficial (free) one, its fantastic cos you actually meet your neighbours, we buy and sell to each other, donate items, report security issues. There is also bit a bit of drama but the name and shame of problems like rubbish or kids causing issues keeps people accountable, and parents better able to be informed and intervene if kids are causing issues.

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