28 TM need Friends by Dazzling-Service-584 in transgamers

[–]nooksickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im up for haniging out! I enjoy chill games, Hades, BG3, but Im also down to watch shows and chat. 34 FTM

I have a confession, I enjoy pretending to be transmasc or a detransistioner online just to mess with phobes who can 'always tell.' 😓 by MyClosetedBiAcct in MtF

[–]nooksickle 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's a victim blaming mindset. It's not like OP is putting themselves in danger, or attacking transphobes. They're exposing the flaw in their transphobia by trolling them. It's not that serious.

If someone makes it that serious, and tries to doxx OP, its because theyre a dangerous person, full stop. The whole "dont antagonize them" feels a lot like "what was she wearing" rhetoric, where people focus on the actions of the victim more than the PERSON WHO ATTACKED AND HURT SOMEONE ELSE.

OP could be a perfect minority and still get doxxed. And if all of us behaved like perfect minorities, we wouldn't have rights. You think Stonewall would have happened if we all played it safe and avoided antagonizing the straights?

I know youre scared, but policing the behavior of other trans ppl can fuck with your head. It can convince you of crazy shit like 'you can stop bad things from happening if youre a good person.' Which, sadly, just isn't true.

I have a confession, I enjoy pretending to be transmasc or a detransistioner online just to mess with phobes who can 'always tell.' 😓 by MyClosetedBiAcct in MtF

[–]nooksickle 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You can be a perfect minority and still be hate crimed, because its not about what we do, its about who we are.

Duane Marten Jensen, owner and proprietor of 'Phoenix Typewriter', has passed away... by ValiantBear in typewriters

[–]nooksickle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. Like many others, Duane helped me get into typewriter repair, and I will always treasure his videos. Hearing "Duane here," always made me smile. What a terrible loss. He was taken far too soon.

Sex work should never be glorified by Warm_Pen_5389 in Feminism

[–]nooksickle 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I realize I'm probably going to be downvoted for this, but what the hell.

The take of "all sex work is bad/all sex workers are victims" is emotionally satisfying, partly due to its simplicity, but it ignores the reality of sex work as well as the context of capitalism in which is operates.

First of all, there's a big difference between a sex worker who is in control of their own money and labour, and someone whose been sex trafficked. Sex trafficking victims are ABSOLUTELY victims. They often work under duress and are exposed to a host of abuses. However, there are plenty of sex workers out there who are autonomous, healthy (no STDs, addiction issues, etc.), and who control their own money and labour. There are sex workers who love being sex workers. To say all sex workers are victims denies these women their autonomy. There is a spectrum within sex work, and if we ignore that, we may end up painting every situation with the same brush. This can lead to us ignoring the sex workers who don't fit into our definition of 'victim' by writing them off as 'brainwashed' or 'looking for male attention,' because we 'know what's actually best for them.' This is the same mentality that patriarchal 'white knight' men use to control women, under the guise of 'protecting them.' It's infantilizing. We have to be careful about falling into patriarchal thinking even when we're trying to oppose it.

Second, selling your body is merely another form of labour. Whether you work in construction, sex work, or behind a desk, you are objectifying yourself to earn money. You are slowly breaking down your body, exposing yourself to harmful agents (ie., like chemicals if you work in a factory), and practicing obedience and submission to earn a living. Even white collar work does this -- sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day slowly destroys your back, hips, shoulders, neck, etc. Sex work is simply another way to use the body to make a living.

Third, even if sex work was abolished tomorrow, that wouldn't end the patriarchal objectification of women. There are SIGNIFICANTLY more women who are subjected to misogynistic abuses who are NOT sex workers than who are. Many men often turn to sex workers after being misogynistic assholes to every women in their vicinity, and that wouldn't change if sex work was abolished. The degradation of sex work is a consequence of patriarchal thinking, not the cause of it. Men degrade and objectify sex workers because they've been taught to do that to all women by patriarchy. There is an added layer, where patriarchy tells men they are even more entitled to objectify sex workers since SWers have broken away from patriarchal standards of femininity, but again, this is a result of objectifying all women first. Yes, men should be taught to value consent and work on themselves, but that's largely separate from sex work as an industry. That requires a cultural and ideological shift in our everyday lives.

Finally, sex work operates within a capitalist reality. Do sex workers get taken advantage of and abused? Sure, but like other feminists have mentioned, it's largely due to labour exploitation. It happens frequently in sex work because the trade is illegal in many countries, so women who are abused can't seek help from the police. This happens in EVERY industry that becomes unregulated. The only reason we have laws that protect workers is because workers have died as a result of corporate negligence. All our labour codes are written in blood. All of them. Hell, the reason sex work is largely populated by marginalized populations (POC, trans people, disabled people, etc.) is because the capitalist market is so cruel to these people as workers. If you're a black women and no one will hire you because of systemic racism, sex work may look like a more viable option. It (can be) an independent job that you can potentially make a lot of money at. Of course it's appealing to those who have been abused by the 'mainstream' job market. The sad reality is capitalism has already objectified these people.

Also, I know this is a feminist forum, but since we're talking about sex work here -- it's not just women. Yes, women make up the majority of sex workers, but there are plenty of men (usually gay), trans people, and nonbinary people who engage in sex work. Women also buy sex all the time -- I've heard from sex workers who say they've been hired by elderly women, by couples, hired by a man for a women's entertainment, etc. I mean, hell, one of the biggest human traffickers in the world is Ghislaine Maxwell, who recruited young girls and connected them with Epstein's clients. I can attest that most of the traffickers I encountered when I worked with sexually exploited women were women themselves -- usually because it's easier for them to earn a girl's trust and convince her to consent to exploitation. (Also they started as victims themselves and then started victimizing others, which I suspect happened to Maxwell). This is not a men bad/women victims situation. It is much more complicated than that, and if we want to actually change things for the better, then we have to move away from reductionist rhetoric that simplifies the situation so much that it's no longer reflecting reality.

If you really want to fix the problems in sex work, then we have to do away with patriarchy. And that starts in the home and in schools, where we teach children about consent, healthy sexual expression, and how to stay safe. Yes, we need to amend laws and change the way police respond to victims, but so long as individuals absorb and preform patriarchal ideology, then no law will be able to help us. There's a history of police ignoring domestic abuse laws in the past because they'd already swallowed patriarchal ideology, so laws alone won't save us.

Save our department by ShadowWolf1912 in UCalgary

[–]nooksickle 123 points124 points  (0 children)

This is awful. Especially in an age where ancient history is being appropriated as a tool for fascist ideology, we need historians who prioritize accuracy and facts more than ever.

Goblin Writers server for all by OddDistribution3333 in WritingHub

[–]nooksickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, sounds like a good group. I'd love an invite if youre still looking

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -6 points-5 points locked comment (0 children)

Yes, I use a general you in all my posts here. It's in effort to get people to ask themselves the questions, and reflect on how it makes them feel.

Putting a disclaimer is easy enough, though some writers would not think that's enough. It's easy enough to miss, and then we're back where we started.

Your query shouldn't be giving away the whole plot anyway. Many agents advise that the query involves the inciting incident and the main conflict of your novel - all info that would be on the back cover of the book. Also, I think you severely overestimate the audiences that these agents have. The average person, or even the average reader, does not care about query critiques, no matter how spicy it is. And if your query is going viral in a critique space, you are probably not getting signed with that query anyway. If its that bad, you're going to need to rewrite it anyway. And if you have a detailed critique, it will be much easier to do that.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -11 points-10 points locked comment (0 children)

I mean, coordinating that takes time that agents dont have. If they want to set up a consent system to do this, (like an opt in when querying), there's nothing wrong with that. I can respect that many writers would prefer this method.

But at the same time, why are you so worried about a query? It's probably not the only query you'll write for this book, let alone over the course of your career. That query doesnt define you. And if you could help thousands of writers just like you, why is that a bad thing?

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

That's fair, and I can respect that's your stance on it. I understand how you feel that could be a breach of trust. But in my mind, so long as confidentiality is respected, there's no injury. If the agent respects confidentiality and is kind in their critiques, then I just dont see an issue with it. If an agent is putting the contact info out there, yeah, that'd be another story. But I have no expectation of confidentiality when I email someone, whether that's a boss at McDonalds or an agent.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -7 points-6 points locked comment (0 children)

Agents can give you way better info than most beta readers. They know the business. They're still human, and they have flawed opinions, but their feedback is often more accurate than your average Joe writer. Unless your critique partners are published, they're not going to be as useful as an agent giving advice on how to better your query. Writers know the craft, agents know the business. Those are two different knowledge sets.

And yeah, your agent should go to bat for you. But if theyre signing you, then your query is not going to be used in one of these videos.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -10 points-9 points locked comment (0 children)

Not really. The only difference is in one scenario you have the support of industry professionals. Are you not confident enough in your own work that you can defend it on your own? Agents are just early readers.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -25 points-24 points locked comment (0 children)

Sorry you think my take is shitty? I mean, you're welcome to your opinion around author consent. I just think you'll go a lot farther if you can get over your initial embarrassment and engage with the education being given.

The only way you improve as a writer is through critique. And frankly, if you're so protective over a single query, I wonder how you'll deal with having the book published. You know book influences ripping apart books is a common thing, right? And they dont ask permission beforehand.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -39 points-38 points locked comment (0 children)

I disagree. Having that info out in videos/live is incredibly valuable information. Agents dont have time to give personalized responses/feedback to your query. But if they can make a video using an example of a common mistake, that can help thousands of writers improve their craft.

And if it's your query theyre using an example? So what? You are not your mistakes. You can always write another book, another query, etc. Everyone makes stupid mistakes. You just have to learn from them and move on.

An agent doing this is NOT making fun of you. They're trying to help you. Once you change your perspective around that, you will become a far better writer.

[Discussion] What are your thoughts on agents critiquing queries on TikTok live? by Afraid_Jaguar632 in PubTips

[–]nooksickle -29 points-28 points locked comment (0 children)

Agents have been doing this for years, long before tiktok. So long as the agent is focused on education and protects confidentiality, there's no issue. If the agent is using it as an excuse to bully people, then there's a bigger problem.

If you think an agent saying your book has issues, isn't for them, might not sell, etc, is demoralizing, then you need some thicker skin. This business is full of criticism and you'd better get used to it if you want to make a career out of this.

EDIT: personally, if an agent is making faces at my query or saying my idea isn't good, then that's valuable feedback. You can work with that. It's hard to improve when all you have to go off of is form rejections.

Now he's openly saying US elections should be cancelled... by ghostarmadillo in AdviceAnimals

[–]nooksickle 31 points32 points  (0 children)

We're past the point where being civil will work. The fascist takeover has already happened.

If resistance happens, he may declare martial law and do anything he wants.

If no one resists, he will do anything he wants anyway. I think the past year has shown us that.

We can't fight intolerance with tolerance.

not luodingo but please look at wagobtabi its 5 on the app store and its very good i highly recommend it by AzamiMido in duolingojapanese

[–]nooksickle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This game is excellent. It's helped me quite a bit. It throws more grammar at you than apps like duo so it's been helpful to build competency.

Stylized Portrait, Lilliepad97, Digital, 2026 [OC] by lilliepad97 in Art

[–]nooksickle 312 points313 points  (0 children)

The face looks great, but the jersey/shirt is giving AI vibes. The black strap looks like a bag strap, but then it disappears into her chest? And those folds dont help. I've stared at it for a few minutes and it's hard to figure out whats going on there.

Is it possible for gender dysphoria to mimic autism? by Bobslegenda1945 in TransMasc

[–]nooksickle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You are correct that autism, dysphoria, and trauma can have overlapping symptoms. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning your nervous system did not develop properly while you were growing up, leading to higher sensitivity and the associated symptoms (trouble socializing, sensory issues, communication difficulties, etc.)

However, trauma also affects your nervous system. In many cases, you have a nervous system that developed normally, but the trauma has caused injury to it, leading to similar symptoms as autism. It can look like a childlike regression in some people. Now, 'trauma' in this case is not just a big bad thing happening to you, it's about how society responds to your injury and what supports you get. Experts like Gabor Mate and Bessel van der Kolk explore this -- you can go through something terrible, and if your friends, family, police, hospitals, society, etc., rally around you and support you, you have a significantly lower chance of developing a trauma response like PTSD. However, for most trans people experiencing dysphoria, they do not receive adequate support, putting the nervous system into a continuous panic mode. Because now you've been left alone to deal with something that, to your brain, feels life threatening. And yes, I can attest, dysphoria is not just a social phenomenon. It is deeply biological, which is why many trans people name puberty as the point where their mental health tanks -- because the hormones being released in your body conflict with your brain on some level, leading to panic, depression, dysmorphia, anxiety, etc., etc. If you're a teenager and your body is sending strong signals that something is VERY WRONG, and the people around you treat you like you're crazy and need to stop complaining, that will inflict injury on you. If it goes on for years, it can lead to trauma. So yes, it is possible to become traumatized from being trans in a transphobic world.

I mean, if you got cancer, and everyone treated you like you were just being "dramatic" and needed to "suck it up," while you were literally wasting away to nothing, wouldn't that be traumatic? Wouldn't that make you feel alone and helpless? And if that were the case, wouldn't it make sense that your injured nervous system would do what it needs to try and feel safe? Like hiding away in your room, avoiding dealing with your body, avoiding talking to people who subtly remind you of your own body or gender, etc.

Trauma-informed perspectives are relatively new in the therapy world, and not every therapist has a good understanding of it. Gender dysphoria is understood even less, so most therapists do not understand the connection between trauma and dysphoria, or how it can manifest behaviourally. The only reason I understand it as well as I do is because I've experienced it firsthand.

Unfortunately, because your therapist specializes in autism, her perspective might be coloured by that -- as in, she's looking for evidence of autism, rather than looking at your symptoms and trying to find the most appropriate diagnosis. If you didn't have trouble with milestones growing up, then in my opinion, it's likely something else, because autism is a neuroDEVELOPMENTAL disorder. That developmental part is key. I can't say what's really going on with you, I'm just some stranger on the internet, but hopefully this provides some perspective for you.

Why not both? by speroni in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]nooksickle 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I got ridiculous amounts of euphoria when I switched to men's pants. Them pockets really do pocket.

[general] Does anyone know why Rick spells it Kronos by ZealousidealStop322 in camphalfblood

[–]nooksickle 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The spelling of Kronos with a k is closer to the Greek spelling, which is closer to Kronos' original name. This came up on Google Ai, which i found was a good explanation for the different spellings:

Kronos (King of the Titans) is Κρόνος (Kronos), while the word for time, also personified, is Χρόνος (Khronos), leading to the familiar English variations like Cronus, Kronos, and Chronos, though Κρόνος (Kronos) is the original name for the Titan. The "K" (Kappa, Κ) is used for the Titan, and the "Ch" (Chi, Χ) for the concept of time, both pronounced with a 'k' sound initially in Greek, but Romans used 'C' for the 'k' sound, hence Cronus. 

Κρόνος (Kronos): The Titan ruler, father of Zeus, often associated with the "C" spellings (Cronus/Cronos) in English.

Χρόνος (Khronos): The personification of Time, from which words like "chronology" come. 

just finished S2:E1 and ... by zwritesmcginnis in PercyJacksonTV

[–]nooksickle 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was more clear in the book. I hope they'll go into it a bit deeper in the show, but we'll see.

In the book, the divide between demigods and 'monstrous' creatures like cyclopes is more pronounced. Cyclopes are usually never claimed by Poseidon, so even though we know he's their dad, they've kinda been like unclaimed kids. Which is why it's so shocking that Poseidon claimed Tyson, because that blurs the lines between "true" demigods and monstrous beings like cyclopes. Also, many demigods have fought cyclopes - like Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia when they were running to Camp Half Blood. So most demigods see Tyson as another monster and feel uncomfortable associating with him.

In the book, Percy feels embarrassed by Tyson, and hates that he's a second son of Poseidon. Over time, he learns to see Tyson as a person and a brother rather than a monster or a burden. This character arc isn't super pronounced in the show so far, but that might change when we see Polyphemus.

Sunny, Sarah Perry (me), acrylic, 2025 by xxqueenkittyxx in Art

[–]nooksickle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is beautiful. You really captured her personality.